Something I am going to post about in another thread is that I never really learned to 'try' at anything, and this has been particularly true of music.
I grew up reading the music press, the mythologising of the musical genius as someone who could just 'do' the things they did and rarely had to work at them unless they were going through a rough patch.
This has meant that my songwriting habits have been profoundly ridiculous for pretty much my entire creative life.
I've also always had a natural affinity for music, so once I got to the level I reached at age 15 or so I just settled there as far as effort is concerned. I did still find things to improve on, but none of them took actual effort (I want to learn more chords, so I joined the church band, which already had a guitarist, so I only ever played inversions or bass; just learned how to play differently through habit rather than dedicated practice).
I could be a better musician, I could be a better artist, and I could actually start producing half-decent quality recordings. I heard the audio quality of some stuff available to listen to on Spotify and thought, I'm sure I could achieve that.
Now that I am waiting for my line in adapter, I don't want to start on any 'proper' recording yet, so I've mostly been experimenting. I've recorded to a click before, but never at home, and I attempted it once recently and it was fucking disastrous.
But I finally actually fucking bothered to try it properly, using a click, and recording one of my old songs - I tried to do a better job at recording the vocals and such, actually planning what I was going to play (I have historically gone in with just basic chords and improvised in the recordings hoping it'll work out well, then just not shown anyone else if I thought it sucked), thinking about what it would sound like.
I made an awful compressed-to-fuck mix of it to listen to over and over just so I could have something 'complete,' and I'm going to remix it again, possibly even go back for retakes(!), and just wait with bated breath for whenever my part arrives and I can get on this properly, because I have so many ideas right now.