Hey, I found my barely used account from 2014! Coming out of lurking again to try and get this thread away from sphincters and back to topics I have thoughts about...
re: Being attracted to someone, but not sure if it's a crush:
I've been there. I suppose it was (or is) a combination of overthinking, denial, and my feelings being messy and fluctuating at times. A "crush" in my understanding is intense romantic attraction, but I'm not sure what exactly THAT means. Or what exactly it is that I want from that person that I'm strongly but kind of diffusely attracted to. I suspect it also depends on how much I think the other person could be interested in. I might be perfectly happy (ok, mostly happy) just having a meaningful connection with deep conversations and cuddles, but I really really long for closeness in SOME way. I've had obvious crushes on other people, but sometimes it's not that clear.
re: things being "weird":
I think the only way to make it not weird is to let it be weird. Does that make sense? I think it does somehow.
It makes sense to me. I'm not even sure what everyone means by "weird" in this context, but it's not necessarily bad? IME it's much better to acknowledge things than try and pretend they're not there or that everything's cool.
Things did feel weird and uncomfortable (to me) between me and my not-quite-sure-if-crush friend while I spent most of my spare time trying to figure out if it was mutual without being open with him. So I ended up telling him about my feelings and learnt that they weren't mutual, but he was really chill about it. Now it may still feel weird sometimes in that it's not "normal", but it doesn't get in the way. I actually got the impression that those open conversations deepened our friendship
(because he's a very, very awesome person).
re: "transgenders":
Trans here. If someone uses that term, I assume they're transphobic. From experience. If they proceed to defend JK Rowling, I DEFINITELY assume that they're transphobic or at least the type that feels the need to broadcast opinions that are based on ignorance.