Today's comic was absolutely fantastic. There's a lot of really subtle character growth for May and Marigold both here. I love it.
Thrillo makes the excellent point that May has been through some heavy trauma. She has clearly developed some very unhealthy behaviors to deal with that. She's got a whole lot of baggage and that shit takes time to put down, no matter how nice people are to you. There is no magical switch for May to flip to go from being abrasive and rude to being kind and considerate. You don't just decide "I'm going to be nice from now on" and then suddenly you are. Behavior doesn't work that way. It takes time and practice. We have seen moments with May where that time and practice has paid off. This, believe it or not, is one of those times.
May's relationship with Dale is a complex and difficult one. What Dale is offering May is effectively a holding space. May has a lot of trauma to work through and it is going to take time. Her behavior isn't going to change quickly and Dale recognizes that. He's OK with that. He's not OK with being abused, but he understands that he's going to have to regularly assert his boundaries and that May is going to cross them sometimes. As long as May is willing to respect his boundaries and correct herself when she crosses them, he's willing to forgive her and give her the space she needs to practice being a more respectful person. That's how their relationship began. Dale established boundaries and refused to let May disrespect them. When she agreed to respect those boundaries, he turned the glasses back on and let her have space. It's a delicate balancing act of offering both forgiveness and accountability. It's space for someone to make mistakes, but they have to own them and fix them.
This kind of relationship is hard. It takes a lot of emotional work from everyone involved. Not everyone is prepared to offer that space to people and nobody is obligated to. Dale is in a place emotionally where he can. He's very comfortable establishing and defending his boundaries. But that's a skill that Marigold did not have when May first entered their lives. That's why Dale was so adamant that May be kind to her. Marigold wasn't in a place emotionally to hold space for a recovering bully. Dale was willing to take on that emotional work himself, but wasn't going to impose it on Marigold. But we can see Marigold demonstrating an ability to assert her boundaries with May here in panel 2. May made a mean spirited joke and Marigold confidently shut that shit down. May doubles back in panel 3 asserting that she wasn't being malicious and makes the joke again from another angle without the disparagement. I think it's pretty clear in the change in Marigold's demeanor that this time the joke was accepted as intended. He reaction went from "Don't insult my interests" to "Why yes, I DO have some really tacky nerd shit to subject you to" in the span of a panel. That's because May's joke changed from "Your tacky nerd shit is worthy of derision" to "I can pull off whatever look to throw my way". Now, leading panel 3 with a simple "sorry" would have vastly changed the tone of this strip, but May is still a work in progress.
It's perfectly fine to dislike May. I sure do. It's also OK to be critical of her behavior. I think everybody is. Dale and Marigold definitely are. But this is also an opportunity to recognize May's growth and to practice empathy. Fiction is wonderful for that. With zero stakes, it's an opportunity to see vastly different people and, if not relate, at least understand. I think we can all give May the same space the cast has done and be critical of her behavior while showing her empathy and giving her room to grow.