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Author Topic: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?  (Read 7860 times)

knavecornbread

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #50 on: 03 Feb 2020, 08:10 »

you should probably tell the therapist that this happened.

I would if I knew anything about who the therapist is, but she didn't say (and didn't even tell me that she had a therapist until this happened). And at this point I'm sure she won't tell me. I'm gonna go start seeing a new therapist later this week so I'll be sure to bring it up then.

And either way, I'm moving out by the end of the month, even if I end up crashing at my brother's house at the other end of the state. This is effin ridiculous.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #51 on: 03 Feb 2020, 12:48 »

Very pleased to hear you are going somewhere.

Because there's a very slim chance this person has a terrible therapist, and a much more likely chance that they would rather tell a lie this fucking ridiculous in order to justify un-personing you, so.

Please do let us know how you get on.

Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #52 on: 04 Sep 2020, 01:34 »

I'll never understand why some things are considered "rude". I'm too tired to think of a specific example, but I'm sure everyone else can.

It’s one of those irregular adjectives, isn’t it? I’m being honest. You’re being frank. He’s being unforgivably offensive.

I mean, some things are pretty obvious like not standing in the middle of a hallway or doorway jabbering with someone else, or farting next to someone and walking away.
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厚目眠子

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #53 on: 04 Sep 2020, 23:40 »

some things are pretty obvious like not standing in the middle of a hallway or doorway jabbering with someone else
I do that sometimes. But I notice when a person approaches, so that I can I pause my speaking before I can be overheard. If the person stops near me, I wonder why. In the case when I'm blocking a person's trajectory, I notice the person's probable trajectory and I'm blocking it, so I move. This takes only a few seconds. But each time I am walking and a person is blocking my trajectory, it takes a minute for that person to notice me, and it takes a few minutes for that person to start moving after noticing me. Deliberately speaking when taciturn takes me ten minutes, so it's always been easier to just wait for them to move. Recently I was in a situation where two persons took two minutes to notice me, and then more than a dozen minutes to start moving out of my way. By that time, I was able to decide to say something, and had readied the two words "two meters". After I say something, I can speak freely, so I asked why they couldn't have had the same conversation two meters "that way" away from the front door to the building. They left without responding. One thing that I don't understand about some persons is that, instead of responding to questions, they just change a behavior. One example of this is that I asked a person a question and the person answered, then I asked that person what is the reason that that answer is the answer but instead of saying the reason, that person said a different answer to the first question.
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snubnose

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #54 on: 08 Sep 2020, 06:19 »

Well, as far as I understand the question or think I understand the question well enough, my answers would be:

Religion - Thats about find a meaning in life.

Monogamy - Learning to really love a person.

Clothes - Protect from more than the elements; privacy.

Ignoring smell - Because its not very developed in most people.

Graphics - Because optical information can be processed especially quickly.

Conversation logic - The talk given indeed didnt made sense. But politicians try to talk about their message, not about the actual question. So the message of the politician was "if you like that the minimum wage was rased, you must be a bum without a job".

Whos turn is it in conversation - As far as I can tell thats something of a fight and in large groups you really need a moderator. In smaller groups however it usually comes from the conversation itself.

Walking through crowds - No idea, I dont do that consciously, it happends kind of automatic. I dont remember ever colliding with anyone in a crowd, though sometimes there was a close call.

"How are you" - Thats an annoying question because I hardly ever want to discuss my life with that person. I usually evade giving an answer with empty answers such as "Same as always" or "Its okay" or, when I'm in a really vile mood, something like "Dont remind me of that".

Team sports - I'm bored out of my mind as well by them. *shrug*

Women eating in public - Makes no sense, but in Germany we have something compareable. People in Germany act as if children are a chore. Especially awful is some people act as if having children would be selfish, or would be a priviledge that poor people shouldnt have. Children is how mankind can continue; having children is thus not selfish and an absolute necessity.

Presents - Prove that you have tought of people ... not really necessary with adults, usually, but very necessary with children.
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厚目眠子

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #55 on: 09 Sep 2020, 05:35 »

Presents - Prove that you have tought of people
When I see something that I think a friend would buy for that price, I buy it and offer to sell it to them. If they doesn't buy it then I return it, which takes a few minutes next time I'm at the store. At first we would exchange money each time, but now we remember how much we owe each other. If one of us owes too much or for too long, then we exchange money.
I have been told that this is a perversion of gifts.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #56 on: 09 Sep 2020, 17:45 »

It's innovative anyway.

The more I think about it the more I like it. If it's worth your friend's buying it, that means you found something they actually wanted, and to me it's the finding the right thing for the right person that's the most fun part of gift-giving.
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Tova

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #57 on: 10 Sep 2020, 05:11 »

I've long liked the idea of getting stuff for people when you see something they'd love rather than on a fixed schedule.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #58 on: 10 Sep 2020, 05:56 »

I have been told that this is a perversion of gifts.
So is asking something in return for a gift, though.

[...] to me it's the finding the right thing for the right person that's the most fun part of gift-giving.
Thats also whats hard about finding good gifts for people.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #59 on: 10 Sep 2020, 14:57 »

On that note, I always hated the forced "gratitude" that older people complained to agony aunts about in the form of "thank you" cards.  I'm sorry, when I give something to someone it's because I think that they'll like it.  If I expected anything in return, especially as part of some forced ritual, it wouldn't be a gift, then, would it?
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #60 on: 10 Sep 2020, 21:49 »

Forced gratitude, and forced enthusiasm when receiving anything... Why yes, I'm ecstatic about a shirt three sizes too small, in colours that would stop a freight train, why do you ask? I'll put it straight to the donate pile.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #61 on: 10 Sep 2020, 22:14 »

Pandemic aside, if you're a high school guy, why is physical contact with your friends taboo? Even just a friendly hug is seen as "awkward" or "gay" by the rest of the population. Screw you, I wanna hug my friends.
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sitnspin

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #62 on: 11 Sep 2020, 08:47 »

That's not a neurotypical thing, that's a cultural thing. In Middle Eastern cultures, straight platonic male friends kiss each other hello, on the mouth. What levels of physical affection are deemed appropriate vary widely from culture to culture.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #63 on: 11 Sep 2020, 11:04 »

That's not a neurotypical thing, that's a cultural thing. In Middle Eastern cultures, straight platonic male friends kiss each other hello, on the mouth. What levels of physical affection are deemed appropriate vary widely from culture to culture.
Ok, good to know.

I had to read a definition of neurotypical before I posted on this thread, and the main takeaway I got from it was "people considered normal by society." Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but isn't that definition inherently based on which culture you live in?
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Wingy

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #64 on: 11 Sep 2020, 12:14 »

Of course.  In some cultures, male friends will hold hands as they walk, something NOT DONE in the West unless you're in a relationship with that guy.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #65 on: 12 Sep 2020, 05:32 »

I had to read a definition of neurotypical before I posted on this thread, and the main takeaway I got from it was "people considered normal by society."

That is fair, but perhaps more specifically that it is people whose cognitive patterns are considered normal by society (or something along those lines). For example, I do like hugging my male friends, but even if that is not considered normal by cultural standards, I would still be considered neurotypical.

That is what sitnspin means by "that's a cultural thing."
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Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #66 on: 29 Sep 2020, 20:50 »

I think I may have finally figured out what 'rude' means when it's not being used for something that's blatantly inconsiderate.

It's an expression of discomfort made in way that attempts to distance the speaker from said negative feelings.
Think about it.

The classic "it's rude to ask a woman her age" can be rephrased as 'I am uncomfortable contemplating my mortality' or 'I am uncomfortable with society's views of women my age.'

In a biting twist of irony, there seems to be a general sense that expressing non-physical discomfort is 'rude'. And likely in the sense highlighted in yellow.
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Tova

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #67 on: 30 Sep 2020, 01:50 »

What do you think the essential difference is between ‘blatantly inconsiderate’ and your example?
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Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #68 on: 30 Sep 2020, 02:21 »

What do you think the essential difference is between ‘blatantly inconsiderate’ and your example?

The further above example of people standing in the middle of a passageway of some sort blocking access as they chat would be rude due to being blatantly inconsiderate.

Someone chewing with their mouth open (especially if accompanied by loud mouth breathing and smacking lips) would be both. I'm trying to think of better general examples that aren't highly specific things.

EDIT: I understand that as a male I may be fundamentally misunderstanding the example I gave in my epiphany post, and that it isn't something that applies to everyone.

I should also prob3 mention that I delineate between inconsiderate and insensitive.
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flfederation

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #69 on: 30 Sep 2020, 04:53 »

Surely it's they way they treat the neurodiverse, in the name of tolerance.

In the tech world, it's not a great stretch to say it's "everybody against the neckbeards", but here you have a group of people that have struggled for ages to be treated like everybody else, and they continue to up the stakes against anybody who cannot conform with increasing social expectations.
If it was really about empathy, they might pick up a freaking book and read about the people they constantly talk down to-- but they clearly believe it's acceptable due to the Layperson's DSM-- which just a couple editions ago claimed that being gay was a disease.

My point of course, is not that society should bend its will to perfectly accomodate what they don't understand.

It's more along the lines of "if you realised just how spectacularly imperfect and truly selective you are at tolerance, you would probably turn in your PC Police badge." But that assumes everyone joins the force to make the world a better place. T4 still goes on, under different names and different organisations.

But it's all about exclusion, exploitation and profit. Anybody who has trouble speaking for themselves continues to be voiceless, but the world is sooooooooooo evolved now. I mean today, Alan Turing probably wouldn't have his life ruined over his sexual orientation-- that's progress. He would more likely have it ruined over an entirely different set of arbitrary excuses that make exploiting him "acceptable" instead. And if he spoke for himself, he would find those excuses loud enough to effectively silence any self-advocacy he offered. This is a safe bet, because it keeps happening, and keeps getting worse.

And most people either ignore it, or actually cheer it on like the heralding of a great new era. I question the honesty of it, I can't help noticing the way it preserves corporate power structures in the name of liberation. What baffles me the most is how many good people fall for it. They aren't stupid, but they're utterly swept up in something that has major inconsistencies which are deeply questionable.
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Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #70 on: 01 Oct 2020, 05:58 »

T4?

[I'm guessing you're not talking about thyroid function.]
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flfederation

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #71 on: 01 Oct 2020, 06:40 »

T4?
Broadly, metaphorically, and to a certain degree literally: https://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,30356.msg1441275.html#msg1441275

Basically/broadly, systematic medical and unethical abuse of people from certain groups, as a tradition dating back to the programme with the same name-- putting either reproductive health or life at risk. But note it was a side point to illustrate just how ugly this neglect gets even in a modern society. The general ugliness is the point, the example is a side point.
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