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Author Topic: Bembo Returns...  (Read 3143 times)

SomeCanadianWeirdo

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Bembo Returns...
« on: 26 Dec 2021, 20:55 »

...and suddenly I think of Uncle Bobby.  Which dates me if you're Canadian and actually remember Uncle Bobby.

It reminds me of Uncle Bobby because of his Bimbo the Clown birthday bits.
« Last Edit: 27 Dec 2021, 06:35 by SomeCanadianWeirdo »
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BenRG

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #1 on: 26 Dec 2021, 23:14 »

Today's lesson: Feng Shui is not compatible with being a Dark Lord.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #2 on: 27 Dec 2021, 01:10 »

No such thing as a light, airy dungeon.
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oddtail

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #3 on: 27 Dec 2021, 01:21 »

No such thing as a light, airy dungeon.

How about something like a sky cell? https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SkyCell
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Akima

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #4 on: 27 Dec 2021, 03:37 »

So we can deduce that the Crystal Prison of Eternal Torment is in the northern hemisphere...
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Gyrre

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #5 on: 27 Dec 2021, 03:50 »

No such thing as a light, airy dungeon.

How about something like a sky cell? https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SkyCell

There's usually an exception.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #6 on: 27 Dec 2021, 15:30 »

Argh, the sky cell... Just reading about it gives me vertigo!
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Mr_Rose

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #7 on: 27 Dec 2021, 16:44 »

Ironically, the sky-cell is actually underground. It’s just suspended from the top of a cavern large enough to have its own weather and covered in enough Mystic Glowing Crystals™ to create a decent sunset effect.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #8 on: 27 Dec 2021, 18:48 »

Don't pull a rabbit up by their ears! The poor animal... :(
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St.Clair

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #9 on: 27 Dec 2021, 19:44 »

This is not the time for the bard to explain that a magician is really just a performer, like them...
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Perfectly Reasonable

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #10 on: 27 Dec 2021, 20:20 »

The hat was empty.
There was no rabbit.
There is still no rabbit.
All things are empty.
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BenRG

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #11 on: 28 Dec 2021, 00:02 »

Barbarian heroes don't like reality violations that make their brain hurt. Which is actually almost any physics more complex than "Bembo drop rock; rock hit foot; foot hurt."
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Cornelius

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #12 on: 28 Dec 2021, 06:03 »

I'm pretty sure even that one is followed by 'Bembo crush rock'
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Perfectly Reasonable

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #13 on: 28 Dec 2021, 07:15 »

Our minds are clouded by delusions.
The magician plays with our delusions to show us we are easily fooled.
Bembo is angry.
Without delusions the magician could not exist.
It is much harder to destroy our delusions than to kill the magician.

And now I have killed the joke.
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hedgie

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #14 on: 28 Dec 2021, 17:27 »

Comic, and yikes.  As the perpetual magic user player in D&D, I never liked barbarians, but at least they usually could be manipulated.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #15 on: 28 Dec 2021, 18:52 »

'Jeez Bembo', indeed
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Akima

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #16 on: 29 Dec 2021, 15:37 »

Once Asprinnia (appreciative groan) has detached the snake from Bembo's thigh, she should wrap it around her prescription-staff. It's the right thing to do; just ask Lepios.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #17 on: 29 Dec 2021, 15:45 »

At least Bembo takes care of his teeth. Oral hygiene is important! Don't want to get heart trouble, after all.
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Gyrre

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #18 on: 29 Dec 2021, 20:42 »

Comic, and yikes.  As the perpetual magic user player in D&D, I never liked barbarians, but at least they usually could be manipulated.
Playing one after playing a few sorcerers and rogues was pretty different.
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DSL

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #19 on: 29 Dec 2021, 21:43 »

I found the Bone King punchline humerus.
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hedgie

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #20 on: 29 Dec 2021, 22:01 »

Comic, and yikes.  As the perpetual magic user player in D&D, I never liked barbarians, but at least they usually could be manipulated.
Playing one after playing a few sorcerers and rogues was pretty different.

I never have, maybe one of these days.  My last Pathfinder character was a witch who was both the group’s main healer, buffer,  and sole source of effective crowd-control.  My current Mutants and Masterminds character is a disembodied intelligence, so melee combat is out of the question unless inhabiting a corpse.

Edit:

The only D&D characters I’ve ever played that weren’t pure casters were a mulitclass fighter/mage(necromancer in all but name) that abused the fuck out of a spell points system, and a fighter/priest who had the granted power of casting haste on the party without the ageing drawback (2nd ed rules), which, since it gave double attacks, was broken.
« Last Edit: 30 Dec 2021, 01:32 by hedgie »
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BenRG

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #21 on: 29 Dec 2021, 23:02 »

I can't tell if Bembo is being ironic or if his toothache really is the thing that is bothering him the most!
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SmilingCat

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #22 on: 29 Dec 2021, 23:58 »

Obviously it's the tooth. He's just gotta take a long rest to clear the rest of those booboos up.
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Cornelius

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #23 on: 29 Dec 2021, 23:59 »

The only irony Bembo knows, is the sword in his hand.
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oddtail

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #24 on: 30 Dec 2021, 02:09 »

Obviously it's the tooth. He's just gotta take a long rest to clear the rest of those booboos up.

Bembo is not lying. It's the tooth and nothing but the tooth.

(someone had to, come on.)
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Killspree

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #25 on: 30 Dec 2021, 09:09 »

The tooth hurting is just his skeleton fighting back, since he's still got that protruding humerus.
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Farideh

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #26 on: 30 Dec 2021, 12:59 »

New one.

Heh, 'Tavern of Doom'. I like how Bembo is thinking ahead, but surely if someone comes at you in that area you'd be more worried about the arteries in your groin?
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BenRG

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #27 on: 30 Dec 2021, 13:09 »

The Elf girl (a Drow, I bet) is obviously based on May's facial and body shape and the other girl is a completely original character design but is a small bit like bubbles.

However, I do like the idea that Bembo is actually a load of QC characters playing Creatures and Catacombs and a lot of the characters are their PCs. Bembo himself is played by Clinton, go figure.
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Gyrre

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #28 on: 31 Dec 2021, 08:12 »

....... But why just the tip?
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Akima

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #29 on: 31 Dec 2021, 15:41 »

Perhaps there is something like the Candiru in Bembo's world? I'd have thought rusting would be a significant problem...
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Gyrre

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Re: Bembo Returns...
« Reply #30 on: 01 Jan 2022, 21:42 »

Perhaps there is something like the Candiru in Bembo's world? I'd have thought rusting would be a significant problem...

A very good point.


BTW, just ran my players against Doru in CoS. Have the party showed up, so it was 4 lvl 1s against a CR 5 (they insisted on fighting). The party made it out with only one character permadeath and just collapsing the floor of the Church of the Morninglord in the village of Barovia.

EDIT: In their defense, the druid lead with Entangle and Doru not only failed his first save but the next five as well.
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Quote
a real-ass gaddam sword
Quote
"Broken swords and dragon bones scattered on the way back home."

Too stubborn to die, just like the rest of my family.
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