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Author Topic: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?  (Read 24077 times)

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #100 on: 06 Oct 2021, 21:38 »

”Fashion rests upon folly. Art rests upon law. Fashion is ephemeral. Art is eternal. Indeed what is a fashion really? A fashion is merely a form of ugliness so absolutely unbearable that we have to alter it every six months! It is quite clear that were it beautiful and rational we would not alter anything that combined those two rare qualities. And wherever dress has been so, it has remained unchanged in law and principle for many hundred years."

‘The Philosophy of Dress’, New York Tribune, April 19th, 1885, 9. Excerpt.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #101 on: 08 Dec 2021, 12:18 »

Yea, I am very skilled at reading nonverbal communication, but it isn't an exact science with a one-for-one translation. It is largely instinctual and educated guess work based on experience and subconscious awareness. [Snip]
[Yes, I'm late to this conversation.]
Not having had the best of childhoods[1] I was forced to learn body language growing up. The text I oranged is one of the reasons a lot of my body language is deliberate and exaggerated to a degree. I hate being misunderstood and  I'm told I have difficulty modulating tone in my delivery by some people. When it comes to facial expressions, it's my eyebrows and mouth that will tell you my intent as that's what I exaggerate. I'm not entirely certain when I started exaggerating my body language, but I know I started doing so more when I started working at the factory I'm at now.[2] Between that and my dry erase board, it makes communicating with my two deaf coworkers and my many ESL coworkers a fair bit easier.[3]

For a examples: When I roll my eyes and I want to the person to know it's a purposeful motion, I'll follow the motion with my head in a small but noticeable arc. Disappointment is indicated with a visible and somewhat animated shoulder and head slump. That sort of thing. Think of a mime or other stage clown performing emotions in a routine/skit.

[1]I'd rather not get into it. Suffice it to say court-ordered family therapy.
[2] I may be 5'5" (165cm) but I weigh 222 lbs (100.7 kg) and have to wear a US men's 3XL labcoat for my shoulders alone. So that tends to spook some folks when I'm walking quickly in their direction.
[3] Not sure if my no-visible-teeth smile is considered abberant or not.

EDIT: Yes, fashion is absolutely B.S. Standardize size, make pockets functional.
EDIT 2: [completing above thought] As long as it's not ratty, covers your nethers, doesn't 'clash', and you like wearing it, it shouldn't matter.
« Last Edit: 08 Dec 2021, 13:07 by Gyrre »
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #102 on: 13 Feb 2022, 09:42 »

Can't remember if I mentioned this already. From childhood I've been baffled that one of them will answer a question in a way that doesn't even relate to the subject of the question and everyone doesn't even notice.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #103 on: 13 Feb 2022, 11:50 »

There's apparently a knack to that.  I've tried answering what someone means instead of what they say, but I screw it up almost every time.  The problem is when I try to answer what they mean I tend to answer what they reveal about themselves instead.

Folks tended to get upset.  So I quit.

But I have learned a lot of 'set bits' and phrases that people use, and memorized what those bits mean.  So I can confidently answer those.
« Last Edit: 13 Feb 2022, 12:01 by Morituri »
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #104 on: 17 Feb 2022, 19:33 »

Can't remember if I mentioned this already. From childhood I've been baffled that one of them will answer a question in a way that doesn't even relate to the subject of the question and everyone doesn't even notice.

I've noticed at previous jobs that there's a lot of talking past one another on business stuff, plans, strategy, etc at meetings or other discussions, both between other people I'm observing and me talking to someone.  Half the time I'm like, did you even comprehend the question I asked or statement made, because you're speaking like you didn't, and still didn't get what I was actually saying after I repeated it or tried saying it a different way.  Just one of the many reasons I find meetings pointless and don't like talking to higher ups on non-hot or emergency items.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #105 on: 18 Feb 2022, 10:28 »

According to the Gervais principle, it's because you're literally speaking different languages. If people are talking like they don't even understand what you're saying, that's a sign that the conversation isn't about optimizing your business strategy or whatever you think it is; it's optimizing for status in the social and professional hierarchy. Depending on your place in that hierarchy (regardless of whether you realize where your place is) it might be more advantageous for them to gloss over or dismiss whatever you said.

Now, I don't have enough workplace experience to know whether this is common or true. I hope it's not true. But I can see very easily that it could be.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #106 on: 01 Mar 2022, 20:31 »

According to the Gervais principle, it's because you're literally speaking different languages. If people are talking like they don't even understand what you're saying, that's a sign that the conversation isn't about optimizing your business strategy or whatever you think it is; it's optimizing for status in the social and professional hierarchy. Depending on your place in that hierarchy (regardless of whether you realize where your place is) it might be more advantageous for them to gloss over or dismiss whatever you said.

Now, I don't have enough workplace experience to know whether this is common or true. I hope it's not true. But I can see very easily that it could be.

So it really may just boil down to 'ego'. Geeze.

I know it often does with coworkers eho believe themselves more important and useful than they actually are.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #107 on: 06 Mar 2022, 20:07 »

If you mean non-ADD people, just carrying along after they've been startled. I can do that that maybe 3-4 times a day.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #108 on: 07 Sep 2022, 09:01 »

Although I'm not officially diagnosed (I have an appointment coming up, and the last time I was sectioned - I think you can guess why - rhymes with "urban" - the woman in charge of the joint clocked me in about 20 seconds) I feel like I should mention three things.

A: Soda.  (Or beer, or champagne.)  I can't swallow it.  I don't choose not to; I can't.  I regurgitate it.  (Actually, I can fight down champagne, but not soda or beer; it is a fight, though.)  The only other person I've met who's like this is a diagnosed autist.
B: The sun.  I don't understand why it doesn't knock everyone else out.
C: Cheese.  Honestly, I know that you'll think I'm a terrible person for saying this (and I guess I am), but I literally see it as more disgusting than feces.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #109 on: 09 Sep 2022, 05:02 »

I know it often does with coworkers who believe themselves more important and useful than they actually are.
Everyone does that!
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #110 on: 14 Sep 2022, 20:54 »

I know it often does with coworkers who believe themselves more important and useful than they actually are.
Everyone does that!

Fair point, but some instances are particularly egregious.

Like some of our processors in a certain kitchen on days who literally just waste time and resources pretending to work. Recently, one of the managers started a pet project to see what batches take the longest to get redy and why. After teo days of it, none of said processors have shown up to work for two days. We're four days into the project.

EDIT:  I've also been informed by ne of my dayshift QA counterparts that they've had to fill in for the absent processors, and that one hasn't bothered coming in since the start of the project. Unlike most loudmouths who claim to do all of the work, our nightshift processors have the paperwork to back up said claim (because QA fills it out).
« Last Edit: 14 Sep 2022, 23:21 by Gyrre »
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #111 on: 16 Sep 2022, 05:31 »

B is wild.  (I mean, C is worse, but that just cakes the world in filth, which is quasi-understandable because neurotypicals all but worship something tantamount to feces as food.)  But I'm here, and I want desperately to lie down, but I'll need to get permission from the lobby, which I may or may not get, and if I do it may cost me roughly two bennies...
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #112 on: 16 Sep 2022, 08:10 »

I do hate that yellow thing in the sky, oh how it burns us!  But I am a lover of the rotten solidified milk.  Although, in my defence, the stuff I buy is also quite a bit of mould.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #113 on: 16 Sep 2022, 08:38 »

I do hate that yellow thing in the sky, oh how it burns us!  But I am a lover of the rotten solidified milk.  Although, in my defence, the stuff I buy is also quite a bit of mould.

Same here on both counts.

It's why I work nights afterall.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #114 on: 16 Sep 2022, 09:17 »

I technically work nights, but I sleep through most of my shift so I don't know if that counts.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #115 on: 16 Sep 2022, 09:36 »

I've literally fled twenty miles right now, and I'm worried I'll get in trouble as I frantically try to cleanse my blood vessels of the FILTH the only non-invasive way I know, however many doctors tell me not to.  People who know what a mess I am do this ridiculous "I'm not touching you" which is honestly worse than just eating the SHIT (would that I meant it literally - yes, I would rather that people ate flatbread with tomatoes and SHIT or layers of pasta and SHIT or a bottle of granules of SHIT) in front of me.

...yeah, I'm a crazy person, but that's kind of the point of this thread, sin't it?
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #116 on: 16 Sep 2022, 10:37 »

You're not crazy. The point of this thread is in fact to try to help you feel the opposite way
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #117 on: 16 Sep 2022, 15:25 »

And I’m well aware of the absurdity of eating something that smells like the inside of my boots after a long day on my feet.  Honestly, people accept a lot of things as “normal” that are patently absurd when looked at from another perspective.  Even amongst NT folks, food, and whether something is considered disgusting, edible, or really great is often a cultural thing so can be quite different.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #118 on: 16 Sep 2022, 16:57 »

And I’m well aware of the absurdity of eating something that smells like the inside of my boots after a long day on my feet.  Honestly, people accept a lot of things as “normal” that are patently absurd when looked at from another perspective.  Even amongst NT folks, food, and whether something is considered disgusting, edible, or really great is often a cultural thing so can be quite different.

Alcohol, the most common recreational drug, is fungus poop, and if aliens ever visit us, that's all they need to know about us as a species. Or even about primates in general, because other apes and some monkeys also happily partake in fermented fruit laying around to get tipsy.

I've found the solution to the Fermi paradox. Aliens arrived, saw us drink fungus poop to the point we often lose our sense of coordination, and noped pretty hard out of the Solar System.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #119 on: 17 Sep 2022, 04:18 »

And considering how one of our other major passtimes is purposefully breathing in the byproducts of fire...
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #120 on: 18 Sep 2022, 11:25 »

And I’m well aware of the absurdity of eating something that smells like the inside of my boots after a long day on my feet.  Honestly, people accept a lot of things as “normal” that are patently absurd when looked at from another perspective.  Even amongst NT folks, food, and whether something is considered disgusting, edible, or really great is often a cultural thing so can be quite different.

American pale ales. [shudder]
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #121 on: 18 Sep 2022, 11:45 »

I’m not a fan of pale ales in general, and the IPA craze baffles me entirely.  Why the fuck would I ever want to drink something that’s as horribly bitter as the twisted and decayed remnants of my soul?  Give me a good stout or porter any day.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #122 on: 18 Sep 2022, 16:38 »

Hmmm, Cassels Milk Stout. I love living in NZ: https://cassels.nz/product/milk-stout/
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #123 on: 19 Sep 2022, 04:54 »

I’m not a fan of pale ales in general, and the IPA craze baffles me entirely.  Why the fuck would I ever want to drink something that’s as horribly bitter as the twisted and decayed remnants of my soul?  Give me a good stout or porter any day.

I'm told it's actually [for the taste]. Ditto for the drink additives 'bitters'. I know different people have different preferences[1], and whatever that adage about experiencing bitterness and sweetness is. But, that doesn't change the fact that bitterness generally triggers my brain to scream 'that's poison, spit it out'.

[1] I'm frequently told how odd my tastes are. At least my preference for Jaeger usually shuts up the people making fun of me for not liking beer. I'm also particularly they fond of proper black licorice (Wiley Wallaby and Darrell Lea), and other older flavors.

EDIT: trimming overshare
« Last Edit: 20 Sep 2022, 23:27 by Gyrre »
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #124 on: 19 Sep 2022, 08:29 »

I don't understand beer either but then I drink scotch so what do I know

I absutelt powered through with scotch originally as a flex and then eventually did really like it
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #125 on: 19 Sep 2022, 11:09 »

I do love a good single-malt, Islay for preference.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #126 on: 20 Sep 2022, 23:34 »

Scotch is fine for me, but I tend toward liqueurs and mixed drinks.

I think my Spaghetti Western is still in the cooking thread, if not;
1 part Root 100 to 1 part sarsaparilla (Frostop recommended)
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #127 on: 21 Sep 2022, 11:24 »

I’m not a fan of pale ales in general, and the IPA craze baffles me entirely.  Why the fuck would I ever want to drink something that’s as horribly bitter as the twisted and decayed remnants of my soul?  Give me a good stout or porter any day.

OK, so hear me out.

I think this might be a very weird case of toxic masculinity.

Let me elaborate.

While a beer connoisseur will be aware that beers come in all shapes and sizes, and their flavours can be extremely different from each other, from dark and heavy taste that's basically like someone dropped a granite slab on your tongue all the way to something that tastes almost like fruit juice - the average beer drinker associates beer taste with a, well, typical beer. A little bitter, a little hoppy.

Not everyone enjoys this kind of taste. And there's a LOT of stereotypes about what drinks people enjoy. Y'know, anything that doesn't taste strongly of alcohol or has any colour, and any mixed drink that will not instantly knock you out is a "girly" drink.

And there's social stigma against alcohol-drinking men who don't enjoy beer (let's ignore stigma against teetotallers, because that's its own case of worms). For precisely the same stereotypical reasons. A lot of women don't like typical bitter-ish beer, but I think that's only half-true. I think a lot of women don't like beer AND ARE NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT. Meanwhile, many men either won't admit they don't like the taste, or they'll Stockholm Syndrome themselves into drinking it, because they're "supposed" to like it and it's an "acquired taste". Which it is. But there's no requirement TO acquire it.

Same happens with coffee, BTW. Black coffee is "supposed" to be enjoyed by people who know their coffee. When surveyed, people (and especially men) will express a preference for a coffee with no additional stuff (other than maybe some sugar), strongly brewed from a rich, dark roast. Actual people, as sales figures show, usually drink their coffee with a lot of milk and sugar. The difference between surveys and actual consumption habits is quite large, and not an accident.

But anyway. Toxic masculinity is one Hell of a drug, but some men are still not comfortable engaging with implicitly misogynist and homophobic narratives. But a man who happens to be a beer snob (and stereotypical beer snobs are men, because again - cultural expectations) will still need to assert his masculinity.

So what beer will people who are obnoxious about beer say they like? The beer that's the most beer-like EVER. And that means a lot of bitter and hoppy tastes.

Since most people don't know that much about beer, don't distinguish subtle changes and don't have an actual preference for high-quality beers, a person who doesn't know their beers but really wants others to think they have a Refined Taste will go for the most beer that ever beered. And without any nuance, that means more bitterness and more hoppiness. And that led to a sort of a arms race among beer hipsters.

There are people who legitimately enjoy bitter, hoppy beer. But they don't tend to like this taken all the way to absurdity. But a person who just wants to be the Most Correct beer enjoyer is more concerned with image than with personal enjoyment, so they'll overcorrect into "enjoying" very hoppy and very bitter beer.

Again, this is not dissimilar to other toxic masculine behaviour around food. There are people who like spicy food. But everyone knows that one dude (and that's nearly always a dude) who eats things so spicy, they can't possibly enjoy, or even register, the taste of the food. They associate eating super-spicy stuff with being a manly man that mans more than any other man has ever manned.

That's my take on super-hyper-OMG-hoppy and bitter beers.

And I enjoy beer that's both bitter and hoppy on occasion, so it's not like I mind more hoppy IPAs. But I do think past some point, people going for the extreme stuff are not beer enjoyers, they're enjoyers of the idea of being beer enjoyers. None of my friends who are really into beers to the point they know a lot about them are so single-minded about taste and flavour.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #128 on: 21 Sep 2022, 12:25 »

That does make a lot of sense.  Kinda like those fuckers who always reach for the Ardbeg…  wait. nothing.  I didn’t say anything.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #129 on: 21 Sep 2022, 17:11 »

It sounds awfully truthy to me (in the Colbert sense).
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #130 on: 21 Sep 2022, 20:47 »

Anyone else having trouble with reconciling that they're considered physically imposing despite having intellectually knowing for a while?
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #131 on: 21 Sep 2022, 20:58 »

Considering that physically, the QC cast member I most closely resemble is Elliot, yes.  I tend to quietly loom, and have spent quite a bit of effort trying to seem “smaller” and less threatening.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #132 on: 25 Sep 2022, 00:06 »

I do admittedly find that I sometimes hunch my shoulders too. Partly to keep from knocking things at elbow height over[1] and partly to seem smaller, high five of understanding on the latter.

But, the two of the things I got made fun of and bullied for growing up[2][3], I never expected to ever be considered intimidating. So it's still weird to see people flinch away from me despite being short.

[1] It seems like just about everything on a counter is at elbow height at 5'5".
[2] Being short since forever. Then, my weight/build since middle school because I started getting pudgy and stocky. I'm now 5'5", 222 lbs and have to wear a 2XL for my shoulders width.
[3] And my ADD along with my then undiagnosed ASD.

[Previous response deleted because it probably came of rambly and weird in retrospect. Hopefully this one makes more sense?]
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"Broken swords and dragon bones scattered on the way back home."

Too stubborn to die, just like the rest of my family.

Thrillho

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #133 on: 27 Sep 2022, 09:41 »

Anyone else having trouble with reconciling that they're considered physically imposing despite having intellectually knowing for a while?

As a tall, cis white man - I have been wrestling for this ever since I learned what feminism actually was in the 2010s
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In the end, the thing people will remember is kindness.
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