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[sp2]

Catfood, by King Crimson

Lady Super-Market with an apple in her basket,
Knocks on the manager's door.
Grooving to the Muzak from a speaker in the shoe rack,
Lays out her goods on the floor.
Everything she's chosen is conveniently frozen.
"Eat it and come back for more"

Lady Window-Shopper with a new one in the hopper
Whips up a chemical brew.
Talking to a neighbor while she polishes her sabre,
Knows how to flavor a stew.
Never needs to worry with a tin of Hurry-Curry.
"Poisoned especially for you."

No use to complain if you're caught out in the rain.
You're mother's quite insane.
Cat food, cat food, cat food, again!

Lady Yellow-Stamper with a fillet in the hamper,
Dying to finish the course.
Goodies for the table with a fable on the label,
Drowning in Miracle Sauce.
Don't think I am that rude if I tell you that it's cat food,
"Not even fit for a horse."

[_grace_]

Um, guys, Deerhoof?

i know i'd find their lyrics odd, IF I COULD FIND THEM.

but for now- Franz Ferdinand, "Michael"

Michael
You're the boy with all the leather hips
Sticky hair, sticky hips
Stubble on my sticky lips

Michael
You're the only one I'd ever want
Only one I'd ever want
Only one I'd ever want
Beautiful boys on a beautiful dancefloor

Michael
You're dancing like a beautiful dance whore
Michael
Waiting on a silver platter now... and nothing matters now

not so much odd, as unexpected.

[Robbo]

Dark Tranquillity - Cathode Ray Sunshine

Carry our streams
Lift up our less than elated lives
Transmit our selves
We breathe out
Where no one whispers

Take in all the dark light
turn the nighttime into day

Cathode ray Sunshine
speak out and we receive
Show me and let us in

Alienate
Block out all
amid the breaking of the light
See it again and again
Single sight

Sensory perception
turn the nighttime into day

To our great distrust
Escapism a means of
getting through alive
Take it in and spit it out again
That measly filth

Focal degradation
Bring the chaos into light
Cathode ray Sunshine
Burn


As much as I like Dark Tranquillity, they sing aboust such weird crap all the time. Though that just makes it amazing to sing to.

[_grace_]

Dare i mention Beck? his "midnight vultures" album presents us with a few examples, this one in particular. sorry, it's the whole song... couldn't help myself!

"Nicotine and Gravy"

I’ll be your chauffeur on a midnight drive
It takes a miracle just to survive
Buried animals call your name
You keep on sleeping
Through the poignant rain

I think we’re going crazy
Her left eye is lazy
She looks so israeli
Nicotine and gravy

I’ll feed you fruit that don’t exist
I’ll leave graffiti
Where you’ve never been kissed
I’ll do your laundry
Massage your soul
I’ll turn you over
To the highway patrol

I think we’re going crazy
Things don’t even faze me
Her left eye is lazy
Nicotine and gravy
Miracles amaze me
She looks so israeli
Love the way she plays me
I think I’m going crazy

I don’t want to die tonight

[kikanjuuneko]

Silly lyrics, but I still love the song and the band to death:

Faith No More - 'We Care A Lot'

 We care a lot about disasters, fires, floods and killer bees
We care a lot about the NASA shuttle falling in the sea
We care a lot about starvation and the food that Live Aid bought
We care a lot about disease, baby Rock, Hudson, rock, yeah!

We care a lot about the gamblers and the pushers and the geeks
We care a lot about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street
We care a lot about the welfare of all the boys and girls
We care a lot about you people cause we're out to save the world

YEAH!

And it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it

We care a lot about the army navy air force and marines
We care a lot about the SF, NY and LAPD
We care a lot about you people, about your guns
about the wars you're fighting gee that looks like fun

We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye

We care a lot about the little things, the bigger things we top
We care a lot about you people yeah you bet we care a lot,

YEAH!

Well, its a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
And it's a dirty song but someone's gotta sing it

[Faker]

"Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again "

McArthur park!!!! that was actually a number one for the late great actor Richard Harris, once saw some fottage of him performing it live with a full orchestra, just the passion with which you see this massive drunken Irish "man's man" singing about a ruined piece of confectionary is something to behold

[Garcin]

We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye

I actually think this is my favorite couplet in all of music, ever.  First encountered on the Grosse Point Blank soundtrack, which also contained Mirror in the Bathroom, sample lyrics:

Mirror in the bathroom
please talk free
The door is locked
just you and me.
Can I take you to a restaurant
that's got glass tables
You can watch yourself
while you are eating.

Listens 1 thru 20, I wondered why the singer wanted to take his mirror to a restaurant.  

--Moiche

[spizzletrunk]

Rotting from the inside
Over-incubated by the heat of fear and love
The self's coagulated

Egg...

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

Boiling hard in euphemism
Slowly becoming part of the water
Like a frog who never knows
The jacuzzi's getting hotter

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

How'd you know I was looking at you
If you weren't looking at me?

A stagnant pale perfume
Conceived to block the pores
The clotting glands encroach
The endless comfort of a mom
Deep inside my tanning salon
Wishing life was poached

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

I can't seem to differentiate
Between the yellow love you give and the white sex I take
I just want to fertilize you

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

The cracks finally appear
Release cholesterol tears
The flooded cyst drains itself of pus
The lonely stomach chills unless it's drunk
So as she drives she'll close her eyes
Feel it warming up inside

edisni eht morf gnittoR
evol dna raef fo taeh eht yb detabucni-revO
detalugaoc s'fles ehT

Egg...

Oh an egg comes out of a chicken
Oh a chicken comes out of an egg

There's no place like home...

I love Mr. Bungle.

[dancarter]

Ah, Icon of Coil.  I'll list Wiretrap here, but I really wanted Android.  All of this stuff about rebooting and deleting, and trash bins being full.  Hilarious.

Wiretrap - Icon of Coil

Hey Mr. Speaker
Are you connected?
Are you jacked in today?
Is it you or is it me?

Hey Mr. Speaker
What do you hear today?
Do you want to be allowed?
Who turns you on today?

Turning up
Don't stop
Here to stay
Press play
Mr. Speaker, I love you
Turning up
Don't stop
Here to stay
Press play
Mr. Speaker, I love you

Thanks Mr. Speaker
For letting us dance the night away
Just you we dance the mono
With your brother we dance in stereo

Hey Mr. Speaker
Just want to let you know
Just how much I appreciate
That you're hangning around
(that you're hanging around)
How are you doing?
What do you got to leave with my student

Just you we dance the mono
With your brother we dance in stereo

[Freezey]

The Dead Milkmen. I think that explains itself.

[Hatebunny]

Wax Mannequin - Power Blaster

Pick up the Power Blaster.
You can shoot the lasers,
you can be a master like the heroes on TV.
You can shoot them one by one or one two three.
Yes indeed.

Meow meow meow me-meow me-meow (goes on for a while like this.)

Ooooooooh

Pick up the Power Blaster.
You can shoot the lasers,
you can be a master like the heroes on TV.
You can shoot them one by one or one two three.
Yes indeed.

This is the best song ever written, and then choreographed by me as a performance for the security camera in the main entrance to my university.

[Revenge_Therapist]

Alkaline Trio wins here with Fuck You Aurora's line
"You're the cutest grave digger I'd ever met."

[oddball318]

here's the lyrics to a song by a fellow called Momus.  He's rather clever and funny and one of the primary features of his musical style is a penchant for moog synthesizers.

here is the first verse to "The Penis Song"
Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome
Once gave a lecture he entitled 'Everything I know'
Taking the title literally, he spoke four years or so
And I intend to do the same, so make yourself at home
(Pull up a chair, smoke a cigar or something)
Cynthia Plaster Caster once took my cast and showed me
In a penis exhibition in a gallery on Broadway
So many people saw my penis in its glass case
They recognise my penis now before my face

the entire song lyrics are herehttp://www.phespirit.info/momus/20010115.htm

[mizaktik]

from Wicked (the musical) the song What is this feeling.  Keep in mind that this song sounds INCREDIBLY happy.  It's an upbeat song, and the main part of the weirdness is thus:

GALINDA AND ELPHABA
What is this feeling          Loathing
So sudden and new?       Unadulterated loathing
I felt the moment            For her face, her voice
I laid eyes on you           Her clothing
My pulse is rushing          Let's just say:
My head is reeling           We loathe it all!
Oh, what is this feeling?   Ev'ry little trait
Does it have a name?     Makes our very flesh
Yes:                              Begin to crawl:.
Ahhh:                            Ahhh:


There's more, and it's just as funny

[LightThievesAll]

No one has mentioned Wesley Willis, and I find that appalling.  Go to www.alternativetentacles.com and download some mp3s to enjoy.


Here's some Stormtroopers of Death:

I woke up, can't wait to eat
Got my cereal, boy was I beat
Opened the fridge, and to my dismay
There was no milk, my mother will pay

I want some milk, my coffee grows cold
I want some milk, I should've been told

I wish I had some god damn milk
My Cheerios just ain't the same
I wish I had some god damn milk
Too bad the milkman never came

I can't go out to the store
I'll just wait till my mother buys more
I'll just have wheat thins and beer
If I get sick, the toilet is near


GG Allin songs are ridiculous too, but I'll refrain from posting any.  I will, however, recommend "Drink, Fight and Fuck" and "Ass Fucking, Butt Sucking, Cunt Licking Masturbation" and also "Anti-Social Masterbator".

[Maui]

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly
I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come
Corporation teeshirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob

Mister City Policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying

Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife pornographic priestess
Boy you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come
You get a tan from standing in the English rain
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo goo joob

Expert textpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (Ha ha ha! He he he! Ha ha ha!)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snied
I'm crying

Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob
Goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob
Goo gooooooooooo jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba
Jooba jooba
Jooba jooba
Jooba jooba

I am the Walrus-Beatles

Come on, this was like the original song that makes no sense lol. Except it was on purpose, but still counts!

[Willis]

How about this old classic:
Fish heads
Fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads
Fish heads
Eat them up, yum

And I'll second the motion regarding Beck and Midnite Vultures.  How about that girl Debra?
I met you at JC Penney
I think your name tag said Jenny!
I cold-step to you with a fresh pack of gum
Somehow I knew you were looking for some

Like a fruit that's ripe for the picking
I wouldn't do you like that Zankou Chicken
'Cos only you got a thing
That I just got to get with
I just got to get
Get with you
And you know what we're gonna do

I wanna get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra

Oh girl, I only wanna be down with you
'Cause you got something that I just got to get with
I pick you up late at night after work
I said, "Lady, step inside my Hyundai
I'm gonna take you up to Glendale"
Yeah, gonna take you for a real good meal

Cos when our eyes did meet
Girl you knew I was packing heat
Ain't no use in wasting no time gettin' to know each other
Cos only you got a thing
That I just got to get with

I just got to get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra

I wanna get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra

Lovely lady, girl you drive me crazy
Lovely lady, girl you drive me crazy

I'll just throw Primus into the mix also, because all their lyrics are wacky.  

~~Willis, grabs himself a can of Pork Soda

[brightbluehell]

"I may not be a qualude living in a speedzone but I could be restfull I could be someones home..."

From When All the Stars Were Falling by Lisa Loeb.

[Borondir]

How about almost all black metal? I love the music, but the lyrical themes end up just being silly.  Aaaaagh, the Christians are a plague, aaaaaaaaarrrrgh, slit their throats, aaaauuuuugh, lets find a goat and anally rape it!!!!!!

Marduk, Glorification of the Black God
Glorification of the black god
In the shape of a black goat - The dark lord himself
Presiding over the revelry..
Demons, witches, and spirits of Darkness await
And watch with pleasure on the succumbed virgins
And innocent souls.. Soon to be sacrificed
The only light is the gleam of the torches from the inverted women wombs
And the fire from the cauldron, in which human fat is being boiled

There are a few exceptions to the ridiculousness rule in bm, like Emperor, but not many.

[Jolouie]

Cocteau Twins.

[LightThievesAll]

The Left Rights (Jimmy Urine's of Mindless Self Indulgence side project) Darth Vader:

Darth Vader
Maybe not now but some time later
You're very phallic
You're big, black and metallic
only you could be so cold

Lord Vader
Fuckin' shit up with your lightsaber
you're but the learner
and now you're very much gayer
I sense a disturbance in my ass
Darth Vader

[_grace_]

the deftones- when girls telephone boys:

Always the same old taste just new injury
Well I'll wear the claws if you'd like that
Yeah if you'd like that we can ride on a black horse
A great new wave Hesparian death horse

...blah...

You always sharpen your teeth 'cause you're like that
and you're like that everythime you pull heart back
And her compact's carving deeper in your lap
I would call but I forget where the phone is at

[KharBevNor]

Aaaaagh, the Christians are a plague, aaaaaaaaarrrrgh, slit their throats, aaaauuuuugh, lets find a goat and anally rape it!!!!!!

Sounds like a plan!

On that note, is it bad taste to nominate songs one wrote ones-self? As I think this is appropriate right now:

CHRIST-RAPING BLACK COFFEE

In the dark satanic winternight
I sit amidst the Orianthan wood
And clutch with grim determination
On the ancient thermos flask ov Seth
I slowly twist the rune-ed lid
Excitement misting on my breath
I pour the ebon nightblack draught
And drink deep the cup ov pure pernicious evil!

Caffeine overdose
To deaths borders come close
The beverage ov Belial
In an insulated phial
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
They don’t serve it at Starbucks
Its symptom is mindfucks
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Beans of darkness ground pure
‘Tween the thighs ov Satan whores
Christ-Raping Black Coffee!

I drained the final dregs
Felt the deadly curse come over me
I stagger forward blindly
Needed a Luciferian pee
So I dropped down my trousers
In the middle ov the darkwoods
And the ancient cryptic icefiends
Froze my balls right off!

Foil-fresh from hell
It sounds deaths knell
First choice ov Satan’s knights
When they’ve got a late night
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
As black as your soul
It resembles liquid coal
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
A deadly death potion
That increases bowel motion
Christ-Raping Black Coffee!

(In the original all the 'of's are spelt 'O V' but this forum changes them back to 'of' for some reason).

[Aphi]

I'm gonna second the Beatles here. They have rekindled my love for old music. I've been singing this song to my friends for weeks. They officially hate me now. You gotta love it, though. Nothing like delightful absurdity.


I Am The Walrus--The Beatles

I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
you let your face grow long

I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Mr. city policeman sitting
pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
from standing in the English rain

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Expert, texpert choking smokers
don't you think the joker laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard
climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking
Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba

[musicalbacon]

"I Wanna Piss On You"
by gg allin

I wanna piss on you, I wanna piss on you
You ain't shit to me, 'cause I'm better than you
I wanna shit on you, and rape your little sister too
I wanna piss on you, my pecker has a yearning to

I wanna piss on you, I wanna piss on you
Shit in your mouth, piss on you
Fill your mouth with super glue

My glands can't hold it in, I've got an Uncle Yen
Wanna pull it out again, and urinate on everyone
I wanna piss on you, my peckers got a yearning to
Gotta pull it out again, and urinate on everyone

I wanna piss on you, fill your mouth with super glue
I'll piss on you and your sister too
I wanna rape that bitch

Piss, piss, piss on everybody, yes
Piss, piss, urinate, piss 'till your face is yellow, yea
Your hair is yellow, it's dripping down your chin
It's going in your mouth again
I wanna piss on you, I hope you drowned, I hope you do

I wanna piss on you, fill your mouth with super glue
I wanna piss on your mother too
And rape your sister, she is so cool

I wanna piss on you, everyone should be pissed on
I wanna piss on you, I hate you, I wanna piss on you
I wanna shit on you, piss on you and rape you too
I wanna piss on your brother, wanna piss on your father too

I wanna piss on you, wanna piss on you, you, you
I wanna piss on you, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss on you

[KharBevNor]

In that vein

The Anti-Nowhere League - So What?

So fucking what!
Well I've been to Hastings
And I've been to Brighton
I've been to Eastbourne too
So what, so what
Well I've been here
And I've been there
And I've been every fucking where
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you
Well I've sucked sweets
And I've sucked rock
And I've even sucked an old man's cock
So what, so what
Well I've fucked a sheep
And I've fucked a goat
I've had my cock right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you
Well I've drunk that
And I've drunk this
And I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what
And I've had scag
I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you
Well I've had crabs
And I've had lice
And I've had the pox and that ain't nice
So what, so what
Well I've fucked this
And I've fucked that
And I've even fucked a schoolgirl's crack
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Who cares, who cares about you
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you....

[kikanjuuneko]

That reminds me:

'Recycling is Gay' by Anal Cunt

YOU P.C. FUCKING FAGGOT
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IT AWAY
I'LL NEVER RECYCLE
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY

RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY

MY GARBAGE CAN IS FILLED
WITH PLASTIC, CANS AND GLASS
IF YOU TELL ME TO RECYCLE
I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS

RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY

Can't... stop... laughing...

[KharBevNor]

Anal Cunt reached their pinnacle of awesome with 'You (Fill In The Blank)':

we're so dumb,we've got nothing new to say
we write the same song 30 times a day
about how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay
but we'll keep writing them anyway

[chorus:]
you fill in the blank [x4]

fill in the blank is dumb
fill in the blank is gay
fill in the blank's a cunt
and tom pascual is short

[chorus]

[godbowstomath]

A SQUID EATING DOUGH IN A POLYETHELENE BAG IS FAST AND BULBOUS.

NEON MEAT DREAM OF A OCTAFISH.

captain beefheart, anyone?

[Unosuke]

Just about anything written by Billy Corgan. nuff said

[kikanjuuneko]

'You (Fill In The Blank)'

Which one is that from? Didn't even see it. Was funny, though. I also like 'Everyone In Anal Cunt is Dumb':

Is that Scott and Tim, or Gilbert and Lewis
I let them in the band, didn't know that they'd screw us
Mike Mahan had no brains, Tim has no spine
Fred's a fucking asshole, and Paul would always whine

First we had a spic, a pollack, and a geek
Who'll play guitar for Anal Cunt next week
Seth's an alcoholic, Tim can't play drums
Everyone in Anal Cunt is dumb

Fred had his hair in those stupid fucking braids
Tim has a kid, but he never gets laid
John dyed his hair, so we kicked him out of the band
Scott's got a dumb tattoo on his hand

[KharBevNor]

It's off 'I Like It When You Die'.

Though, I do love how just randomly crazy they were getting by 'It Just Gets Worse':

'I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT'

I WAS ON MY WAY TO TURN IN ILLEGAL ALIENS TO THE INS
AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING DOG WAS BARKING AT ME
IT SOUNDED LIKE A SINGER FROM A GAY DEATH METAL BAND
I WANTED TO KICK IT IN THE FUCKING FACE

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

AFTER I BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF IT
I WANTED TO THROW IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WINDOW
BUT I NEEDED MONEY TO BUY SOME MORE WHISKEY
SO I SOLD IT TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

YOUR FAMILY ORDERED PU PU PLATTER
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EATING
IT WAS YOUR FUCKING GAY FAITHFUL DOG
WHILE YOU WERE AT THE RESTAURANT I LIT YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!

[kikanjuuneko]

Yeah, Anal Cunt are always the best when they're attacking really stupid, trivial shit. Particularly their fans.

And of course, The Dillinger Escape Plan (man, I'm glad I have enough self-distance to laugh at this):

'Everyone Who Likes The Dillinger Escape Plan Is A Faggot'

Harvey Fierstein told me you guys ruled
John Zorn called to tell me you're great
The caller ID was from a gay bar
You guys fucking suck

Any guy who likes you
Like Neurosis and dicks up his ass
You think you're so fucking original
Gay bars used to be original too

You never get bad reviews
Because all the writers shoot up cum
Everyone who likes you
Is a gay homosexual faggot

[KharBevNor]

My favourite attack on a band is '311 sucks' where Seth just garbles random wicki-wah style gibberish for 30 seconds over lazy hip-hop type music then it all goes grindy and he screams "YOU FUCKING SUCK!!".

[Mr Putter]

I like Bright Eyes, but this part of Bowl of Oranges reminds me of something David Brent would write...

And I came upon a doctor
Who appeared in quite poor health
I said there's nothing that I can do for you  you can't do for yourself
He said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help
So I sat with him awhile
Then I asked him how he felt

He said I think I'm cured
No, in fact, I'm sure of it
Thank you, stranger
For your therapeutic smile

[Signum_Tenebrae]

Arkhon Infaustus - Domination Xtasy

Orgiastic murder
Blood on the ground
A body for an altar
She draws the sign of her inner hell...
In this dark dungeon
A dark sexual mass
The corset tormentor
With dildos and handcuffs
Brings her soul to xtasy

Bondaged he cries
Sodomized he screams
She spits on your face
Like the wimp on his cross, soon you will die!

The dark mistress always sucks down the dead
The dark mistress only sucks down the dead
Your death makes her cum

A fistfucking prayer, an angels requiem
The whore queen commands
He obeys randy and thanks his executioner

She lashes the air with the devil's tail
Her eyes filled with hate, "obey to get her down"
Hurt me, love me, she's a pain paid hooker
You're my pain, my goddess... worship her cunt you slave!

The empress has left
Her slave sleeps forever
The praying mantis is satisfied till another night
Next night, she'll come
Just for you... your death'll make her cum!


crazy french people

[MilkmanDan]

Aesop Rock - One Brick
Thing is, they do make sense, but I swear he must spend more time obfuscating his lyrics than he does writing them. Whatever, it's a great song, and "the room reaks of a thousand bayonettes" is an awesome line.

I start my city with a brick (one brick)
Then add another brick (two bricks)
Brick by brick, I manufacture homes for fallen angels
I ain't no great Samaritan, that's just the way the game goes
Respect the polars but acknowlege middle-value rainbows
My snout turned up from dream factory eyelids
Slingin bottled prosperity for the kamikaze colonels
Yeah rocks the match that burned the Nazi journals
And plottin verticals amidst blatantlly horizontal
Models then swallowed by famished potholes
And I'm tired
Tied up on these functions
Killer cottoncandy clouds and huckleberry justice league
Another knuckle-dragger dungeon breed
Run, breathe, sit, bellow
Wild Aes scream through your style to hear the echo
Aight then, flinch for the great granddaddy payback
When Little Billy bought a Tugboat
Now he thinks he's Captain Ahab
Facist takes for the pegleg's birds and eyepatches
Learn that lesson, you'll be swashbuckling with the best of them
Wonder why you wept over spilled milk
And got your crayons wet, the room reaks of a thousand
bayonettes
I'll fision vision with a lie longer than your most walked
meridian
Connecting life with that little species of midians
We've now officially scraped barrel bottom
Aesop Rock an Apple to the core but ya'll ignored him
I know a planet made of porcelain
And once I get tired of holding this gavel up
Ya'll prayer circles met him up born again
I ain't too good for tap water
Play 'Taps' out of order
For a ballad, corpse a dead man walkin
You can lead a man to a city but that don't assure civility
You can beat a man to death with Aesop Rock bootleg cd's
(That's more fun anyway)
Some cats Float, some cats don't
I speak in Farenheit and burn off colon lyric
Diss blatant harassment, spit honor, whistle fearless
Don't dismiss the billygoat appearance for that common sheep

[Praeserpium Machinarum]

This song is silly but I love it anyway, in their early days they did a lot of these, now they are a lot more serious and still manage to be great... A wonder really.

Kashmir - Lollypork Stomp

The moon was hanging cool and full above the waving swimming pool as we were feeding mouths with meat and drool.
'Cus we were having christmas feast a merry one with pork and grease...
And every guest was eating meat like beasts!

'Cus santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.

Fanatic vegetarians would call us rude barbarians but before they did we forked them on the grill!
The taste was quite 'mermaliar' reminded me of aliens but salt could give it ooooh the last thrill!

And santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.

My youngest son once asked his dad: 'How can it be that I am so fat?
You taught me lollypork was for my health!
The skinny kids with baseball bats still kick my ass and tell me that my family was never one of wealth!

'And santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's...

and one more:

Kashmir - Could We Kill Fred?

Fred did go long but he did not go all the way.
Siezed every day though his surfboard sank in the bay.
Loaded his mind with a sauce spiced in all he found hip.
'Micro chip dip!'
Searched for the hype stuff and feared to be a hypocrite: Turned 'E' to 'C' in a band where he did not fit.
Fred was the founder of every invention before.

Fred throws out his brain jumps on a train to be on time digs cool magazines... Flips through the pages of his mind.
Day is gone but he keeps the 'blackfiles' on.
Fred is in the house tries to be seen among the crowd Fred's a friend of the band still they don't know the man that acts so loud...
Please notice him... He's... Proud... Of... His... Style.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.

Fred dyed his hair told his friends he would shoot himself.
Friends he had none so it must have been someone else.
No one objected his threat so poor Fred took it back.
Fred turns on T.V. tries to collect the frequency this reality must be reflecting Freddy's key.
Day is green and he'll keep the arnet's on.
Next week Fred is saying 'oh I must break this cozy shell'.
He steps into a plane and tries to break it in Nepal.
Please notice him... He's... Proud... Of... His... Style.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.

Fred is like proud to be a part of this x-rated generation leaving no specific sensations except for once in a while when some hair-dyed fellow locks himself in a shed just to blow off his own head.
Sometimes Fred makes a sandwich with his girlfriend Lizzy and some foreign drugged up 'ho' he calls Janis.
Sometimes Fred is checking out the 'Strawberries' of this particular season last week Fred was 'in' to directing movies this week it's political meetings and friday he'll be a host in what he thinks is his own 'Fred Sullivan show'.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.

[Cairbre]

When it comes to shit lyrics no one out does these Brazilian lads:
Sarcofago - Desecration Of Virgin
___________________________________
Seven night before
of scared birthday
the lord make himself
present at virgin's home

Demons suck you pussy
and fuck 'til the delight
she isn't more virgin
because was fucked by Satan

He put the virgin of for
fucking your asshole
the orgy haven't stop
ejaculating on her mouth

She suck... a hammer of Satan
and reach the first orgasm
he breack laws of God
and prophane the mother of Gods

Sarcofago - Deaththrash
___________________________________
More a hard core metal night start
let me torture you with my growls
making you burst your head on the stage
playing the simphony of atomic war

If you are a false don't entry
because you'll be burned and died
the nuclear drums will chrush your brain
slaughtering all with intensive pain

The blood of your heads
spread in our faces
violence and death
are with we desire
not that's enough
we want more blood
come up on stage
drag out our heads
deathrash

Get out here and destroy all
killing all falses bastards
because is this with we want
this is our message...

"If you are a false don't entry
because you'll be burned and died"

Is that not the best line ever?

[Signum_Tenebrae]

Hahahaha, Sarcófago fucking wins \m/

[KharBevNor]

Oh jeez, that's reminded me. Though they're a joke band, fuckin' Blackthrone

PANZERFAUST DIVISION BLACKTHRONE

The world is becoming a very black
Prepare for our next attack
When you come with your panzers
We rise and shoot with panzerfausts
Then you die!

Black forces of evil!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Infernal hordes of Satan!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone

You can't live after we have killed you
Because you are then very necro and dead
Your panzer is to be broken after we've
risen with our panzerfausts

Dark evil Inferno men!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone

Our defence-line is so thick
With the power of evil we attack and kill
You cannot do anything because we always have
our panzerfaust division Blackthrone ready

Dark evil Inferno men!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Hellish outlaws from Satan's side
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone

Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Fistfucking the face of you
666 times in a day
Our defence-line is so thick
With the power of evil we attack and kill
Your tanks will be broken always

"You can't live after we have killed you
Because you are then very necro and dead"

\m/

And on the note of uber-metal piss-take awesomeness, who could forget the mighty Tankard?

666 PACKS

We have a deal with Satan
A contract signed in Hell
We sacrifice a virgin
He makes our record sell

SATAN! - To Antichrist we pray
EVIL! - To hit the charts one day

666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult

We have the baddest evil
Come buy our merchandise
A plastic skull, a T-Shirt
That says "I shit on Christ"

SATAN! - is thrashing to the beat
EVIL! - on seven days of week

666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult

On stage we slaughter poultry
In songs we slaughter man
Black masses, guts and torture
We do the worst we can

SATAN! EVIL! - on blood and gore we feast
SATAN! - I am your Judas Priest

666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult

[Kai]

Three Businessmen - I walk for my Lawn

I walk for my Lawn
I walk all day Long
All the time it's hard for me
Feel the pain inside my knee
I hit a rock
it flies up and breaks the skin
I swear I'll never do this kind of thing again

Everydau it's like a madman in the jungle
Trying to cut all of it down

I walk for my lawn
I don't eat nylon
Polyester's OK
I like it all day
I see a purple double knit sweater walking by
Unattached to a body pushing a hand mower

All of a sudden I look outside
And the grass has grown so much taller
I don't know how I could let my lawn go
I'm living in urban squalor

I tried to start the mower with my foot inside the hole
I sliced off four toes, oh no
The blad caught some of the blood
And spewed it all over the ground
My next door neighbor hear my screaming sounds
They calld an ambulance it showed up right away
They said 'Are You Crazy? Are you gone?"

I walk for my lawn even with one foot gone
I don't eat nylon - The day is so long
My neighbors have cadillacs
I have a battle axe
I'm going after the Joneses
I'm not going to use this mower anymore, oh

Don't you know sometimes the pressure of living in the
Golden ghetto gets to me
I don't know what to do
I get on a riding mower and I got after my Neighbors - Slash
Augh!

I'm so tired
"It's okay, it's just Jack on his riding mower."
I'm so tired, polyester's okay
At leas that's what some say - I'm so tired
I don't eat nylon, don't eat nylon, don't eat nylon

[Praeserpium Machinarum]

Sum 41 - A.N.I.C

(F**kin' Shit)
You look like ass
You smell like shit
So why are you such a dick?
You walk around like you're the tits
You always make me sick
Bound for agony
You life's catastrophe

You look like ass
You smell like shit
So why are you such a dick?
You walk around like you're the tits
You always make me sick
Bound for agony
Your life's catastrophe

You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You make me sick

Edgar Allan Poe, go home, this is a masterpiece, beautifully rendered piece of true adversion for the everlasting and OMINOUS universe.

...I know this is cheating a bit but they sort of ask for it

[banev]

When it comes to ridiculous lyrics, mighty metalheads SACRED STEEL cannot be far:

Dark Forces Lead Me To The Brimstone Gate

[A retrospect on the Dark Lord's ninth forbidden Journey]
([THE TYRANT KING:] "I look into myself to ask the Fates for answers but even the Voices of my Soul remain silent. Still sleeping I murmur the Ritual Words of the time-lost Invocation : ARA'SHA NIMU KO'SHA ! The third Dream-Gate opens and I fall onward through the Crystal Ball...")
(The apostate on the Voyage to the center of Cythraul)
"Weird Dreams, dark Visions, black Spells ensorcell me !
Sword tight (in my trembling hands), grim mission, come forth those Voices sing..."
[THE WITCH:]
"The Secrets once forbidden are gifts to be unveiled !
Beware (my son) ! For Hell's Damnation waits if you should ever fail !"
(The Sojourner is trapped in the Delirium of the Fall)
[THE TYRANT KING:]
"A royal Balefire (I see the Valkries taking my dead body to the Hall of Kings) !
A King's soul, haunted, doomed !
A Warrior's death pyre ! A mortal earthbound tomb"
"I follow to the Ancient Call, DARK FORCES !
I'm falling through the Crystal Ball, DARK FORCES !
I've come to face my Sacred Fate, DARK FORCES !
(I beg thee) DARK FORCES, lead me to the Brimstone Gate !!!"
"Death-Ring ! Black Magic ! Your Wielder I shall be !
Doom-Sword ! Dark Terror ! Your Steel my Victory !
Wrath-Sceptre ! Wand of Spells ! Sign of a God-King's Reign
I fear not Death nor Hell nor Fire !!! I shall not fail !!!"
("I enter to the Stygian Pyramids. Realm of the descendants of a race even older than the Old Gods themselves !")
"Shield blessed by Sorcery, anointed by her Spells
I'm drawn into the Black Abyss of fiery Hell !"
("I am reborn in Bloodshed to wreak Havoc, Death and Hate
Upon the lost souls doomed, where endless Pain awaits !")
"I call thee... DARK FORCES ! DARK FORCES ! (Priests of the Serpent-Race !)
DARK FORCES ! (Sorcerers of Time ! Disciples of the Worm !)
DARK FORCES ! DARK FORCES !
LEAD ME TO THE BRIMSTONE GATE !!!"
(Before the Council of the Serpent. The Dreamer stands alone, facing the Trial of the Elder Gods.)
[THE ELDER GODS:]
"Behold these Treasures ! We know your Soul is pure.
Take them and use them to rule this World once more !"
(The Neophyte on the way back to the second Dream-Gate)
[THE TYRANT KING:]
"Thus spake the Elders !
The Gods of Metal, Steel and Iron and Glory
(I am) Reborn to reign as King !"
"DARK FORCES LEAD ME TO THE BRIMSTONE GATE !
DARK FORCES LEAD ME THROUGH THE BRIMSTONE GATE !!!"
("Passing the third gate, I return to the crimson world.")
"...And to a world of Slaughter I awake !"

-

Army Of Metalheads

Come hold me close my dear Brother
Now as I take my last Breath
So many Souls I have taken
Now it's the time for my Death
I'll drink from the Skulls of the False Ones
With my Comrades waiting beyond
We'll fight 'til the End of Forever
'Til the Final Battle is done
Anoint me in Metal and Steel
In Death I am King
Metalheads
Metalheads
Metalheads
Our Army of Vengeance is back from the Dead
Metalheads
Metalheads
Metalheads
Our Army of Vengeance is back from the Dead
Reign from a Throne made of Thunder
Wielding the Lightning of War
Hunting the Posers forever
In Life as in Death evermore
Gathering Soldiers of Metal
Undead, Immortal and True
Leading them into the Battle
An Army of Cold Iron Doom

[KharBevNor]

On the subject of the first Sacred Steel, NOBODY can defeat Bal-Sagoth

And Lo, When The Imperium Marches Against Gul-Kothoth, Then Dark Sorceries Shall Enshroud The Citadel Of The Obsidian Crown

[Chapter 1: The Voyage of the Sorcerer]
The war between the Imperium and the allied Vyrgothian Kingdoms had raged
for years. Beginning as minor disputes over border territories, the conflict
had swiftly escalated into a full-scale bloody war, a vast series of epic
campaigns, fervently perpetua ted by the Emperor Koord and the Over-King of
Vyrgothia, both eager to smite their traditional ancestral foes and to win
great glory and the adulation of their people by seizing victory in battle.
Recent months had seen the forces of the Imperium display a staggering degree
of tactical mastery and battle prowess, contemptuously crushing the Vyrgothian
armies in a series of great battles, 'til at last, following the slaughterous
Rout of the Fields of Kai-Vorg, The Empire's finest fighting force, the fame
d and far-feared Legion of the Ebon Tiger, stood unopposed not five day's
march from mighty Gul-Kothoth, the greatest and most ancient fortress-city in
all the Vyrgothian kingdoms. The Legion of the Ebon Tiger could not easily
count their numerous and r esounding victories, and their commander, the
legendary warlord Baalthus Vane, made it clear to the Emperor that he was
eager to press on deep into the enemy's lands and seize the prize which
awaited him; the siege and capture of ancient Gul-Kothoth! And yet the Emperor
Koord did not order the Legion to march, for disturbing information had of
late been relayed to him by his spies in the Vyrgothian Royal Court... Dire
rumours abounded that the Vyrgothian mages had at last discovered the ancient
arcane r ites which would unlock the aeons-fettered power of the dread
Obsidian Crown, a fearsome mystical artefact countless thousands of years old,
a black-jewelled circlet believed once to have been borne upon the immortal
brow of the legendary Shadow-King him self! And it was written in legend,
that should the ancient spells of might entwining the artefact be reawakened,
then incredible near limitless ruinous power would thus be bestowed upon any
army carrying the Crown into battle... Had the mages of Vyrgoth ia truly
ascertained the time-lost conjurations required to empower the Obsidian Crown,
hidden for centuries deep within the marble vaults of its ebon citadel? Eager
to know the truth, the Emperor dispatched his most powerful sorcerer across
the great In land Sea to the Court of the Over-King, under the pretence of
offering the terms for the Vyrgothian surrender. He was bade use all his
sorcerous skills to discover the truth... a truth soon made clear by the
disdainful refusal of the Imperium's terms, an d the grimly fearsome message
given the sorcerer by Vyrgothia's Master Wizard, with which to return to the
Emperor: "And lo, when the Imperium marches against Gul-Kothoth, then dark
sorceries shall enshroud the Citadel of the Obsidian Crown..."

[The Wizards of Vyrgothia:]
Darkly bejewelled circlet of night,
Crown of the Elder King,
Unfettered at last the Trinity of Might,
The sceptre, the sword, and the ring.

[The Sorcerer:]
I stand upon the oaken planks of this great ship, (the splendid flagship of
the Imperium's navies)
Gazing at moon-gleam dancing on the vast, dark sea...
(And in my mind I behold) black crystals gleaming... ensorcellment!
I am enthralled by this nighted spell...
For I know that the slumbering sorceries
Of the Shadow-King's crown shall soon be reawakened...
And as I return to my emperor (shackled to such woefully grim tidings),
My spirit is borne upon the leathern wings of a great sorrow...

[Chapter 2: The March of the Imperium]
[The Emperor:]
Call forth the Ogre-Mage of the Black Lake
And the Swordmaster of Kyrman'ku,
Let them speak the Words Which Unfetter...
Enshrined for countless centuries, within its darksome citadel,
Five score and ten against the Tiger, (curse) the black crown of the
Shadow-King!
By all the dark gods, I swear I'll not be dethroned!
A seething forest of blackened blades,
A churning sea of ebon war-chariots,
A searing storm of flaming shafts,
All this havoc and more shall I unleash against my foe...
Into battle! The Legion shall march... the fall of Gul-Kothoth is nigh!

The Legion of the Ebon Tiger... six thousand elite warriors of the
Imperium, the pride of the Emperor's forces... Bolstered by heavy cavalry, and
a squadron of deadly scythed chariots... further reinforced by the Imperial
Frontier Army of one hundred tho usand highly trained spearmen and archers...
and never has this force met its match in battle or siege...

[Baalthus Vane:]
Our banner flies ever glorious, undefeated we stand, steeped in victory.
The Iron Phalanx, six thousand strong, our ever-honed blades, the Tiger's
gleaming claws.
Pride of the Empire, Scourge of the Vraii,
Masters at Turonium, and Kai-Vorg.
Smiters of the Southern Host, Routers of the Horde, Bane of the Over-King, we
march to war!
And so, the Emperor himself rides to rendezvous with Baalthus Vane,
accompanied by his sorcerous aide. The Legion of the Ebon Tiger reaches
Gul-Kothoth at dusk on the fifth day of their march from the fields of
Kai-Vorg, halting upon the great arid plan which stretches before the city,
the huge dust cloud sent up by their massed arrival obscuring the dying embers
of the setting sun. As the vast army begins to make camp, arraying their
splendid tents and banners, and assembling their gargantuan siege-wag ons,
the Emperor stands gazing at the huge brooding walls and colossal cyclopean
gates of the city-fortress before him, vowing that a torrent of red slaughter
shall befall Gul-Kothoth, regardless of any sorcerous trinkets the Vyrgothians
may possess, and that the Over-King shall pay dearly for his sublime
arrogance. And twelve leagues distant, an army of five score and ten, bearing
the Obsidian Crown, approaches the city...

[To be continued in Chaper 3: The Wizards Do Battle]

Just look at the TITLE.

[bainidhe_dub]

dammit! now i have the roly-poly fish heads song AND the i like bumblebee bumblebee tuuuuuuna songs going in my head. at the same time.

but i am going to have to vote for the Detachable Penis song, for sheer surreality, and everything to spew from SOAD. i liked them, then my little sister got ahold of my toxicity cd and played that goddamn song Bounce nonstop for a few months. bouncebouncebouncebounceupdownupdown but just one pogo stick! bleh!

Jump, Bounce, Down, Up

I went out on a date,
With a girl, a bit late,
She had so many friends,
Gliding through many hands.
I brought my pogo stick,
Just to show her a trick,
She had so many friends,
Gliding through many hands.

Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo

Unannounced twister games,
All players with no names,
They lined up double quick,
But just one pogo stick,
Everyone gets to play,
Runaway, expose',
It was so exotic,
But just one pogo stick.

Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo

Oh, I like to spread you out,
Touching whoever's behind

Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo

[boeuf]

ANYTHING BY MIDGET HANDJOB...
seriously, those guys are messed.

An excerpt:

Tied it all in knots.
A box situation carousel
resting somewhere down inside your colon
not resting so well.
Giraffe skin apolstry
charred black christman tree
slaughtered lambs
jewish hams
and it's a pretty tasty setup.
Got a little grease under your nails
Set out on a pleasure trip
forgot to bring your sails

Stumbled up against a placard
hanging backwards
looks something like a half assed fairy tale
A gravel paths no bubble bath
overblown tide pool film
The scripts been read and sealed in led
and tossed out to the sea
settling on the bottom
looking up
a shark swims by
but leaves no love.

anyways, the whole song is pretty much like that.
yeah...
go Keith Morris.

[La Creme]

kikanjuuneko wrote:

We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye
 

I actually think this is my favorite couplet in all of music, ever. First encountered on the Grosse Point Blank soundtrack, which also contained Mirror in the Bathroom...

That is one of the greatest soundtracks of all time.

My ridiculous lyrical fave is by GWAR:

Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish

Gonna take a rivercarp and ram it up your butt
You slut
You whore
Why are you my Mom? (repeated)

Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish

Gonna take a moa-moa and swim it up your butt
You slut
You whore
Why?

ALSO:
Ottowa Bonesaw by The Sugarplstic

Ottowa Bonesaw
I see Shannon shot from the cannon
Bet she'll land in the folley-folley shade
Her bed is always made
There's a crow in the meadow
And I've cleared my place, so...

Hey Mr. Locks, did you see the man, see the man drown?
Yes I did. Gone down with the boat
Off the Chimminy Rimminy coast, what a shame-oh.
(Black-hearted Dutchmen merrily, merrily.)

I see Brian running from a lion.
If he trips, he will surely, surely wade
Through the dreams that things are made of...
Crow in the kennel
And I cleared my place, so...

Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottawa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw

Franklin agrees
We're invincible in principled hands.
(Don't be to cock-sure)
Sticks and stones
Weepin' widdle on the griddle of Japan, no, no.
Stake all you can, sing merrily, merrily.

I see China half a mind behind ya'.
One step back and a word is all it takes
To magnify mistakes
There's a crow in my tummy, in my belly,
in its place, so...

Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bonesaw

[-sam]

I'll take the whole Trey Anastasio/Mike Gordon/Jon Fishman/Page McConnell/Tom Marshall catelog for the win please.  YEM, Llama, Scent of a Mule, Dog faced Boy, Run like an Antelope, Meatstick, etc.  bizarre lyrics thy name is:



-sam

[Catculus]

They Might Be Giants Fingertips

Everything is catching
Yes, everything is catching on fire
(Everything's catching on fire)
Everything is catching on fire (everything's catching on fire)

Fingertips
Fingertips
Fingertips

I hear the wind blow
I hear the wind blow
It seems to say, "Hello, Hello,
I'm the one who loves you so."

Hey now everybody now
Hey now everybody
Hey now everybody now

Who's that standing out my window?

I found a new friend
Underneath my pillow

Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)

Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?

Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please

Leave me alone, leave me alone

Who's knocking on the wall?

All alone all alone
All by myself

What's that blue thing doing here?

Something grabbed ahold of my hand
I didn't know what had my hand
But that's when all my troubles began

I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand the things you say
I can't understand a single word
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I cannot understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)

I heard a sound, I turned around
I turned around to find the thing
That made the sound

Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper

The day that love came to play

I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack

Fingertips
Fingertips

I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors
I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors