Topic: Most Pretentious Band(s) (Read 73650 times)

Willis · « **on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:09 »

I got this idea from the Sparta thread below, and because I love the word.

My vote goes to the Mars Volta. What's with the neo-prog? Do you think people will actually like this crap? And what's with the song names? Can you actually come up with titles with words that 1) people know, and 2) make sense. Just because you have afros does not give you entitlement to make this crappy music and think so highly of yourselves.

And my 2nd vote (its my thread, I can do that) is Sigur Ros. Inventing your own language, having nameless songs, and naming an album "( )" however cool and original combine to be a way lot more sucky then you think you are.

~~Willis

Inlander · « **Reply #1 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:13 »

Any band that's ever referenced Tolkien - anyhow, anywhere.

24_hour_revenge_therapy · « **Reply #2 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:16 »

rush. ugh. seriously. just...yuck. the kings of jack-off rock. "look, i can play a guitar...FOR THIRTY STRAIGHT HOURS!!!" congratulations, jackass.

hoods. mikey hoods is the most arrogant dick on the face of the planet. no, mikey, you didn't invent hardcore. get off your pedestal.

Trollstormur · « **Reply #3 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:23 »

Mortiis.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #4 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:48 »

Pretentiousness I dislike:

Dillinger Escape Plan, Blood Brothers, The Bled, The Number 12 Looks Like You etc. : Silly song titles, often crappy overly-busy music (I like BB and the Bled though).

Pretentiousness I like (Be warned, extreme metal is FULL of pretension):

Therion: To actually fully understand Therion's lyrics you have to be a member of the Dragon Rouge, a mysterious and cryptic German magic cult to which the members belong. Plus, their liner notes are gold.

Arcturus: Dedicated an album to 'the perilous quest of the faustian spirit'. 'nuff said.

Ulver: Change their sound dramatically every album. Did concept albums about Werewolves and William Blake. Possible crypto-communists. What more do you want?

Bal-Sagoth: One song (On the album 'Starfire Burning Upon the Ice Veiled Throne of Ultima Thule') is called 'And Lo, When The Imperium Marches Against Gul-Kothoth, Then Dark Sorceries Shall Enshroud The Citadel Of The Obsidian Crown'. The case rests m'lud.

Nile: One paragraph of lyrics. 3 pages of liner notes. They also write songs in ancient Egyptian.

Behemoth: Endless liner notes. Dense technical music. Incessant references to obscure Thelemic principles. Set an Alastair Crowley poem to music. spell of with a v all the time.

Man, I'm getting tired, but I could go on for quite a bit.

24_hour_revenge_therapy · « **Reply #5 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:51 »

oh my god, i forgot about nile. i loathe them. loathe them like...um...well, something extremely loathable. squirrels. yeah, fuck squirrels.

but, i should point out, i love DEP. love them soooooo much.

ah well. nobody is perfect.

Inlander · « **Reply #6 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 18:58 »

Okay, we've already got a thread for loathings. This thread's for bands that you think are pretentious. Remember people: you've got to separate your dickheads from your tossers.

(Don't ask me which one goes where, though: I think I've bamboozled myself with my own subtle reasoning.)

24_hour_revenge_therapy · « **Reply #7 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:00 »

sorry, sorry. but, i should point out, nile is both loathsome AND pretentious, in my book. they need a new word to describe the pain they cause me.

ForteBass · « **Reply #8 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:03 »

Quote from: Inlander

Any band that's ever referenced Tolkien - anyhow, anywhere.

So you dislike Blind Guardian too?

Inlander · « **Reply #9 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:09 »

ForteBass, you are wildly overestimating my band-name recognition capabilities.

But if they in any way make reference to Tolkien, then I'd say there's an extremely good chance the answer will be a resounding "Yes".

ForteBass · « **Reply #10 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:11 »

any way? Shit. They are a crap metal band and all they do is write songs about Tolkien. My ex thought they were brilliant. I think they suck horribly.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #11 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:14 »

but, but, Inlander, how can you dislike Wuthering Heights, Led Zeppelin, Isengard, Ephel Duath, Gandalf, both Lothloriens, Aurora Borealis, Cirith Ungol, Cirith Gorgor, Sauron, Blind Gaurdian, Nightwish, Orange Goblin, Lucifers Heritage, Elvenking and all three Nazguls?

MY MIND CAN'T TAKE IT.

Inlander · « **Reply #12 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:17 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

Wuthering Heights

I so hope you're referring to the Kate Bush song there - and yet, in my heart of hearts, I know you're not.

Ah, sweet Ms. Bush, where have you and your slightly odd dancing gone?

ForteBass · « **Reply #13 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:17 »

Well, Skippy, the fact is Blind Guardian is the most god awful, over rated pile of tripe to ever grace the planet. It's essentially music for kids who go larping, and I will not abide by such horrid taste.

Mnementh · « **Reply #14 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:20 »

Quote from: Inlander

Ah, sweet Ms. Bush, where have you and your slightly odd dancing gone?

I must admit, I like Hayley Westenra's version better. But then, I like Hayley Westenra, in a naughty way.

The Moody Blues get my vote for prentious band ever for how serious they took themselves when singing "Nights In White Satin"

LARP LARP LARP

KharBevNor: I've liked Nightwish for years, but every album before Once is pretty fucking cheesy. The same goes for most metal bands, especially the Scandanavian ones (that they are cheesy as all hell, not that I like them.).

Inlander · « **Reply #15 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:24 »

Quote from: Mnementh

The Moody Blues get my vote for prentious band ever

Don't let Smiley catch you saying that!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #16 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:31 »

Quote from: Mnementh

KharBevNor: I've liked Nightwish for years, but every album before Once is pretty fucking cheesy. The same goes for most metal bands, especially the Scandanavian ones (that they are cheesy as all hell, not that I like them.).

Cheesey metal is awesome! I often forget how cheesey/folksy most of my musical taste is. It's one of the reasons why 'Elvenpath' is one of my favourite Nightwish songs...I can't even bear to quote the lyrics actually. Go look it up. It's carried off though by the samples of Tolkien reading passages of LotR and Tarja's impossibly thick Finnish accent on the first album. (she pronounces Swords 'Swades' with a vocalised w, and hearing her say 'Goblins and Pixies' is an audial treat and a half).

By Wuthering Heights I meant the Danish Speed-Folk Metal band. They are awesome and they sing about Elves and Hobbits and the mysteries of Nature.

I won't see a word said against Geek Metal. Or LARP. Anyone found disparaging either will be sodomised with a foam sword.

Mnementh · « **Reply #17 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:34 »

Heh, she mentions Sparhawk and Madrigals.

That last one is a Myth II reference. Yeah, it's a wicked cheesy song, but the first I ever heard by them and I wound up getting all their albums.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #18 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 19:38 »

Same actually...I really love the whole drive of the song, and I perfectly appreciate what it's saying and so on about the power of fantasy and imagination. It's just...the cheese...

Skibas_clavicle · « **Reply #19 on:** 16 Apr 2005, 20:41 »

Quote from: Willis

I got this idea from the Sparta thread below, and because I love the word.

My vote goes to the Mars Volta. What's with the neo-prog? Do you think people will actually like this crap? And what's with the song names? Can you actually come up with titles with words that 1) people know, and 2) make sense. Just because you have afros does not give you entitlement to make this crappy music and think so highly of yourselves.

And my 2nd vote (its my thread, I can do that) is Sigur Ros. Inventing your own language, having nameless songs, and naming an album "( )" however cool and original combine to be a way lot more sucky then you think you are.

~~Willis

Ouch. I really like both of those bands. There are a lot. I personally think The Strokes were one of those bands. They're not hot shit! I think the people are more pretentious that listen to "pretentious bands" than anything else.

Johnny C · « **Reply #20 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 00:31 »

This thread wins the

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT GY!BE"

award.

jeph · « **Reply #21 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 00:45 »

Aww, they're not pretentious. Efrim just takes himself way, way too seriously.

DEAR EFRIM: LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP AND WRITE SOME GOOD MUSIC PLZ

(pff, like efrim uses the internet. it's a tool of multinational corporations!)

kikanjuuneko · « **Reply #22 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 01:07 »

Khar: OH, THE IRONY.

PS. At least the Blood Brothers' song titles are usually related to the music, though. That prevents them from being silly in a way, at least if you ask me.

normz · « **Reply #23 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 01:46 »

ummm my fave band of all time are totally guilty of the crime that is being pretentious and they are ......... TOOL yes the whole occult/we are too cool to care act is a little annoying BAH their so self-aware and on the topic of pretentiousness the winner of the most pretentious albumn ever released goes to Fantoma's for Delirium Cordia ..... I can't beleive i spent $30 on that piece of incoherant shit whilst their at home counting their money and patting themselves on the back for another 'misunderstood masterpiece'! Why mike patton why???? .........

emor · « **Reply #24 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 01:55 »

based on obnoxious band photography:
franz ferdinand.
interpol.
any band other band with obnoxious "we're cool and serious and hip" photography. lordy I hate that.

also:
almost every new-wave metal band I have ever seen pictures of or have heard.
any band or individual that calls itself "IDM."
any band that is even described by a third party as a "thinking man's [etc.]" or "intelligent [etc.]."
definately post-rock.

and the winner:

dear fucking god, william basinski.

MilkmanDan · « **Reply #25 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 02:31 »

Youth Movie Soundtrack Strategies.
Just look at that name, and now gaze on their first album title: 'Hurrah, another year, surely this one will be better than the last; The inexorable march of progress will lead us all to happiness'
You can write that in size 8 font and you're still gonna fill the entire album cover. That's just silly.
Alot of people think Aphex Twin is pretentious, but I just think he's a bit insane.
Also, U2 are so pretentious it hurts. Seriously, what the fuck is with 'The Edge'?

Robbo · « **Reply #26 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 03:46 »

You guys all suck for not liking good Power Metal.

And if Arcturus falls in here, so does Spiral Architect. Because they're they're another band of Black Metal guys all showing off how good they actually are.

And I'm shock they're the first true Prog mentioned. Though they're closer to Free Jazz Metal than anything else at times.

And Lovecratian bands like Ungl'Unl'Rrlh'Chchch should rank up there as well.

Cpt.Fantastic · « **Reply #27 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 04:21 »

Most of the music I listen to is made by pretentious bastards (my prog side, anyway), I like all of the arty/public school we're-better-than-you-so-bagger-orf music i.e. Genesis(Gabriel), Yes(Anderson), Pink Floyd(Waters), Van Der Graaf Generator(Hammil) etc.

Praeserpium Machinarum · « **Reply #28 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 04:56 »

Maybe Jane's Addiction?
I like them and all but they are pretentious, and I don't think Tool is pretentious, a pretentious band couldn't have made ein Eiche fur Satan(or what it's called), but yay...and I agree with Mars Volta, I love them, but heck they are about as pretentious as you can get..

yipjumpmusic · « **Reply #29 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 05:07 »

No mention of oasis?

Inlander · « **Reply #30 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 05:18 »

Oasis and any prog-rock band are assumed to be pretentious. They don't need to be mentioned.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #31 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 07:18 »

Quote from: kikanjuuneko

Khar: OH, THE IRONY.

\o/ noo, the irony of an open mind that reviews each band it hears on a case by case basis!

some more:

Ephel Duath: Did a concept album on 'The Painters Palette' Chose silly artsy colours like Pearl Grey and Amaranth.

Every Symphonic/Gothic Black Metal band ever: Dimmu Borgir, Illnath, Hecate Enthroned, Satyricon, Cradle of Filth, Theatres Des Vampires, Emperor, Limbonic Art...ESPECIALLY Gloomy Grim...I love you all. But you are very pretentious. (This may be one of the things I love)

Speaking of which, every Post-Black Metal and ever: ...And Oceans, Blut Aus Nord, Anaal Nathrakh, Arcturus, Borknagar...yeah, well. The less said about you guys the better :p

Schmung · « **Reply #32 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 07:26 »

Quote from: yipjumpmusic

No mention of oasis?

Oasis aren't pretentious, they're just arrogant cunts, there's a difference.

ASturge · « **Reply #33 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 07:33 »

The Killers

Pretencious fucks

Inlander · « **Reply #34 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 07:41 »

Quote from: Schmung

Quote from: yipjumpmusic
No mention of oasis?

Oasis aren't pretentious, they're just arrogant cunts, there's a difference.

Sure, but they do have pretensions towards being the best rock 'n' roll band the world has ever seen. And apparently to being the biggest bunch of fuckwits the world has ever seen. Just because their pretensions aren't very lofty, doesn't mean they don't exist!

Sturge · « **Reply #35 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 09:00 »

Mars Volta are pretentious cunts.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #36 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 09:20 »

On reflection, I'm going to nominate Dan Swano, because:

1) He writes stupiferously artsy and philosophical lyrics.

2) He LOVES conceptual storylines.

3) Pan.Thy.Monium

As a saving grace, he's amazingly self-effacing. When asked in interviews about his greatest works, such as Crimson (A widely acknowledged classic of the genre) he will brush it off by saying that the band could have done better, or the snare production makes that album unlistenable for him or something.

Jude · « **Reply #37 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 09:53 »

Quote from: Inlander

Any band that's ever referenced Tolkien - anyhow, anywhere.

Aw come on, what about Spunge? 'We may not be up there with J.R.R. Tolkien, but at least you don't need a PHD to understand what I mean'. Surely that doesn't count?

Mnementh · « **Reply #38 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 09:58 »

Quote from: Robbo

Though they're closer to Free Jazz Metal than anything else at times.

Any band that makes up nonsense genres to describe itself.

Robbo · « **Reply #39 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 10:01 »

Well, be nice if that was something the band had ever said. There is Jazz Metal, there is Free Jazz.....the two can be combined. It was just something I said in my review to describe what a complex interlinked shifting mass it was.

Kai · « **Reply #40 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 10:16 »

Dream Theater (Especially John Petrucci, the show off bastard) Are extremely pretentious.

Robbo · « **Reply #41 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 11:35 »

I think we got to the fact all Prog bands where. Oh well, not gonna stop be loving Dream Theater.

Tinjessla · « **Reply #42 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 11:51 »

As much as i love 'em, ditto to all that mentioned The Mars Volta.

They take themselves far too seriously, considering they have (albeit sexy) giant hair and dance manically on stage. I tried to read that book they wrote when someone posted a link to it and...gaa!

Trollstormur · « **Reply #43 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 12:57 »

Quote from: ForteBass

Well, Skippy, the fact is Blind Guardian is the most god awful, over rated pile of tripe to ever grace the planet. It's essentially music for kids who go larping, and I will not abide by such horrid taste.

Battlelore is much worse. They have motherfucking character sheets instead of bios in their album liner notes!

Robbo · « **Reply #44 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 12:58 »

I did not know that. I love the band even more now.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #45 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 12:59 »

:O

That is so COOL!

*buys Battlelore albums*

mechorg · « **Reply #46 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 17:02 »

Jack White of the White Stripes.
Not the duo itself, just Jack. I saw an interview with him once a couple years ago and if i was in the audience I would have thrown a pancake at him.

And a 3rd (or 5th or umpteenth) on Mars Volta.
I like the whole Sigur Ros "create-a-language" comment.

Kai · « **Reply #47 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 17:19 »

As I said in the "What are you listening to" thread, Radiohead are a bunch of pretentious fucks. "Look at us, we can make a concept album with no concept! Praise us as the best band of all time!"

Psiogen · « **Reply #48 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 17:36 »

Not all prog bands necessarily qualify. Groups like Samla Mammas Manna, Curved Air, and Hatfield and the North are pretty unpretentious.

Is it really fair to blame Radiohead for other people calling their albums "concept albums"? (Or "the best album ever" for that matter.) It's not like they say "concept album" in huge letters on the sleeve. Though I suppose doing that would make you less pretentious.

Hoborg · « **Reply #49 on:** 17 Apr 2005, 18:51 »

Radiohead are the least pretentious band I can think of, relative to their global fame. They (well, yorke specifically) are best known for expressing the absolute absurdity of their being famous. They shy away from praise. The most pretentious thing they do is use their fame to call attention to world issues like fair trade, the good of which vastly outweighs their being pretentious.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Most Pretentious Band(s) (Read 73650 times)

Willis

24_hour_revenge_therapy

24_hour_revenge_therapy

24_hour_revenge_therapy

Mnementh

Mnementh

kikanjuuneko

normz

emor

MilkmanDan

Robbo

Cpt.Fantastic

Praeserpium Machinarum

yipjumpmusic

Schmung

ASturge

Sturge

Jude

Mnementh

Robbo

Robbo

Tinjessla

Robbo

mechorg

Psiogen

Hoborg