Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

  • 02 Dec 2020, 20:21
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: (Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please  (Read 3222 times)

keyoung

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 27
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« on: 21 Apr 2005, 19:19 »

(Edit) Previously badly titled: Criticize me
(Ya'll are a bunch of literal grammer freaks!  And I love you because of it.)

My first (and last) attempt at creating something even vaguely comic related:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/keyoung/catch22.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

(Plot/text courtesy of Mr. Joseph Heller)
I have so much respect for people who churn out a comic every day, I know I could never do it.
When I did this (several years ago) I don't think I'd ever read a comic outside of those in the daily newspaper.  So my question is (to those of you folks with lots of canonical comic knowledge) what did I do wrong?  I know there must be tons of things.  The handwriting, I know, is pretty godawful.  As are those fingers in the top right corner.  And the second panel.  (Well, I seem to be doing a fairly decent job of criticizing it myself, don't I?)
Anyway, I'm just looking for some criticism from folks with more knowledge in the area than myself.
(If anyone's interested -- I used gouache and sharpie).
Logged

torg

  • Guest
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #1 on: 22 Apr 2005, 02:44 »

hmm you should change that sepia-like tone to pure white .... and yes... you perhaps should letter it on the computer. ;)
Logged

ASturge

  • Guest
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #2 on: 23 Apr 2005, 09:32 »

erm....ok......
YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!
Logged

keyoung

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 27
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #3 on: 24 Apr 2005, 13:02 »

torg: The sepia tone's due to my bad photography.  The original is on white illustration board.  And I think I'll try photoshoping in some new text to see how much it helps.  Thanks.

ASturge: Muh?
Logged

thehoopiestfrood

  • Guest
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #4 on: 24 Apr 2005, 14:29 »

You asked him to criticise you so he did...
Logged

keyoung

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 27
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #5 on: 24 Apr 2005, 15:01 »

HAHA! I get it!
(boy am I slow)
Logged

Kjammer

  • Guest
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #6 on: 24 Apr 2005, 18:58 »

You want me to criticise you or your little comic there?
Logged

keyoung

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 27
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #7 on: 24 Apr 2005, 19:45 »

The latter.  
(I am currently attempting to figure out if there is a way to amend my badly titled thread).
Logged

Hatebunny

  • Guest
(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please
« Reply #8 on: 05 May 2005, 22:56 »

Well, I can't provide any criticism beyond what's already been said.
The style reminds me of 60s comics...like the kind in those  'Ripley's believe it or not' booklets. The plot is cool, though from what I read there, it seems like that's not your work. The drawing style is pretty professional looking though. I'd just have to agree that the sepia tones be turned to white, and that the text be neater...It was a bit ahrd to read, possibly because it was a small scan/compression.

Try some more!
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up