Okay, seriously, these are the best thing on TV right now. No argument. Really. No. Argument.
Spoilers ahead, but seriously, no one cares.
For example, the other night I was watching some sci-fi original called "Dragon Storm" (I think). Basically the premise was this. Dragons attack the countryside and a bunch of people die. Overdone, right? Yes, pretty much. But here's the twist. These dragons, they were from outer space. Oh man, totally original! So, at first these dragons burn the shit out of the mean king (from now on known as "the bad guy"). The bad guy is already plotting to attack a neighboring kingdom because he's bankrupted himself and his peasants can't work like slaves because they're all starving to death. Then the dragons attack everyone because they are dragons and that's what dragons do. People get breathed on and get a little fire on their arm and then scream like mad and then die. Apparently they didn't learn the whole "stop, drop, and roll" thing in elementary school. This is just one of many reasons why modern people are superior to the middle ages. So, after his castle is burned down, the bad guy goes to the good king's castle to seek refuge. In the woods he meets a strong independant woodsman who lives a low-key life in the woods of the good king hunting game (read: dashing, chaotic good hero). The hero offers to lead the bad guy to the good king, takes him to the good king, then gets drafted to a ragtag group of adventurers who are going to become dragon hunters. These include the following: a quirky and geeky alchemist who has no idea what he's doing, a kung fu trader from the East, a big burly guy, one of the bad guy's guards, a very plain woman inventor, and a sexy semi-goth hunter woman who is the good king's daughter (oh man, you could smell the chemistry a mile away). The inventress has made a balllista and they are going to use it to hunt dragons. So they go off and kill a bunch of dragons and everyone but the woodsman, the princess, and the kung fu guy get killed through hilarious encounters. Meanwhile, the bad guy is planning to overthrow the good king and take his place. Then the ragtag group of adventurers lures the last dragon to the castle to defeat the bad guy, and then they kill the dragon and everyone lives happily ever after. Except the people who died. Oh, and the woodsman and the princess end up doing the horizontal shuffle.
After that was some bad alien movie. Some scientists genetically engineered an alien/animal hybrid and it got loose in some remote base, so the army sends some folks to go find out what happened. They are all forgetable except the leader, who is a supposedly hot asian woman. News flash: she's not as hot as she's supposed to be. So they go in, find two survivors, a hacker and the lead scientist, and they find out that one let the critter loose on purpose and the other guy knows about some conspiracy. The monster eats everyone except the bad scientist and the hacker and the chick, and then they kill the bad scientist and then the asian chick gets into a skintight body suit for no reason and does some gymnastic stuff, falls a lot, and then somehow kills the monster. Then she and the hacker escape and then kill the bad guy who is responsible for the whole thing. Then they nuke the base. Happily ever after.
These are just a small example of the cheesy B-movies billed as sci-fi originals. Seriously, how could you NOT like these when their cliched plots and characters are more original than anything else on TV, and the dialogue is so bad it's good?
So yeah. Sci-Fi originals. 4 stars out of 5.
