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Author Topic: More Egoism, maybe NSFW  (Read 4109 times)

Mr Blue Sky

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« on: 23 Aug 2005, 16:53 »

Seriously, I feel weird starting a whole new topic, but there doesn't seem to be a "post your art so everyone can give critism" topic. So yeah, here are some drawings I would like critics /comments on. You can bash them hard as long as you know what you're talking about, no "it sucks" please.





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MindFlayerSlayer

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #1 on: 23 Aug 2005, 18:37 »

Your first piece frightens and confuses me
But I really enjoyed the second and third.
And while I'm not an artist myself, I feel a need to praise good art ^_^
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Blue Kitty

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« Reply #2 on: 23 Aug 2005, 18:48 »

I agree with the first statment, but not the second or third one.  the second drawing makes me feel like I am looking at someone that is having a good time, the third drawing does this as well.  I also really like the coloring in the second one.
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est

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #3 on: 24 Aug 2005, 00:37 »

isn't the second drawing a drunk dude standing on the bonnet of his car as it goes over a cliff with his unconscious (dead?) girlfriend inside?  i could hardly call that "having a good time".
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maxusy3k

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #4 on: 24 Aug 2005, 05:40 »

I'm not sure about the first one... the second and third pieces are really well done I feel, very nice to look at and both of them say to me 'look real hard at this picture, because you're not getting everything that's going on' - the second kinda seems like there's obviously more going on than meets the eye, while the third... is that a weird gun-wielding skeleton thing in the background?

But yes, second and third really nicely drawn, and just feel unsure about the first, it doesn't particularly affect me in any way.
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twentyfour

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #5 on: 24 Aug 2005, 07:49 »

I like the first piece(I liked it even more when I tilted my crappy laptop screen to see all of the different colours you used). I think the anatomy is a bit off, the upper lip seems a bit puffed out before the actual lip(if you sued a model, well, still looks odd to me but you drew what you saw, cool in my book). The jawline seems a bit too round for the rest of the body, it feels flabby, if a fat jaw was the intention maybe giving a hint of the actual jawbone underneath would help this look less 'strongjaw'(also the chin seems to jut out a bit). The front arm feels kinda flat. The deltoid and the tricep are pretty much non-existant so the arm looks like a flabby tube. I like the electric current flowing from the head and the background.

The second piece bothers me. The limbs all have a broken feel to them and the balance is way off(yes I know he's drunk but he would not be able to be in that pose without wires and two people holding him up). The lizard saying something ruins this piece for me, I go from "oh it's art" to "Oh, it's a comic page" as soon as I see it(no offense to comic artists but I'm sure you'll know what I mean). The hand holding the beer is stretched out and feels more like it's pulling the bottle down rather than holding it up. The legs are too skinny, and the bent leg doent look like it's bending in perspective(and knees son't bendsideways without serious pain and loud popping noises). Bring the knee more forwards by straightening out the bendand adding shading under the knee, this should give the impression of perspective. I like the jeep and the passed out girl in the back.

Third I liked the most. But for all the detail and hatching you left the teeth bare? They look like cartoon teeth now, even some shading to show the molars are inside the mouth and maybe some hints of shade between the teeth as you round the bicuspids and move back. The eyes are too big and the cheeks are responding to the mouth at all. Grab a mirror and wath your cheeks puff up under your eyes when you open your mouth that big. I like the hand alot, it rough and stylish.. if thats a joint.. DUDE, that's big as his index finger, thats a thick roll.

You got some great work man! Keep it up! You going to school for art or anything? We can talk anatomy books later if ya like... right now I gotta go grab some checks and buy some food.
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Mr Blue Sky

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #6 on: 24 Aug 2005, 08:39 »

Oooookay.

Quote
isn't the second drawing a drunk dude standing on the bonnet of his car as it goes over a cliff with his unconscious (dead?) girlfriend inside? i could hardly call that "having a good time".


Actually (it shows more in the 300dpi original) the girl is vomitting on the side of the car.

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the second kinda seems like there's obviously more going on than meets the eye, while the third... is that a weird gun-wielding skeleton thing in the background?


The second one has the story you want to put in it, it's pretty loose. And for the third one, witch is a fanart entry for Project Utopia, it's just another of the characters in the BG, but then again the compression kindof killed it.

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I think the anatomy is a bit off, the upper lip seems a bit puffed out before the actual lip(if you sued a model, well, still looks odd to me but you drew what you saw, cool in my book). The jawline seems a bit too round for the rest of the body, it feels flabby, if a fat jaw was the intention maybe giving a hint of the actual jawbone underneath would help this look less 'strongjaw'(also the chin seems to jut out a bit). The front arm feels kinda flat. The deltoid and the tricep are pretty much non-existant so the arm looks like a flabby tube.


No model here, it is supposed to have a not cartoon but "graphic" look to it, hence the roundness everywhere and the fact that even tough there are tons of anatomic errors (I agree with most of what you said about the face) she still comes out as "human" and almost fragile (lips, nose, round jaw and short forehead). I'm not shitting you here or trying to cover my ass, it's really what I was trying to convey. As for the arm, well, that's my bad, I might try to change it someday.

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The second piece bothers me. The limbs all have a broken feel to them and the balance is way off(yes I know he's drunk but he would not be able to be in that pose without wires and two people holding him up). [...] The hand holding the beer is stretched out and feels more like it's pulling the bottle down rather than holding it up. The legs are too skinny, and the bent leg doent look like it's bending in perspective(and knees son't bendsideways without serious pain and loud popping noises).


Okay, that one was quite old (hence the looser anatomy), but still. The off-balance was intentional but not to this point, I wanted him to look like he was going to colapse any moment now, but not to be collapsing. That's why the right (his) hand is looking like it won't hold the bottle anymore in a second and his legs are off balance. But I pushed it too far. As for the bending leg, you're 100% right, I'll change that someday.

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The lizard saying something ruins this piece for me, I go from "oh it's art" to "Oh, it's a comic page" as soon as I see it(no offense to comic artists but I'm sure you'll know what I mean).


I see what you mean, I was just verry tired (that drawing took over 20 hours and about 30 layers, many of whitch I deleted afterwards) and thought that it would be funny to have the funky lizard plugging my sig. It was meant to be comic-ish (monkey anatomy and arms, weird face, strange vegetation) so it didn't come out to me as wrong at the time, it's only now that you point it that I see it.

Quote
Third I liked the most. But for all the detail and hatching you left the teeth bare? They look like cartoon teeth now, even some shading to show the molars are inside the mouth and maybe some hints of shade between the teeth as you round the bicuspids and move back. The eyes are too big and the cheeks are responding to the mouth at all. Grab a mirror and wath your cheeks puff up under your eyes when you open your mouth that big. I like the hand alot, it rough and stylish.. if thats a joint.. DUDE, that's big as his index finger, thats a thick roll.


That one I can't give you, it's really the one where I decided to go with a real "cartoon" look. The teeth and big eyes are there to blow away the realism and seeet a looser, more relax mood. I'm surprised you didn't point the horrible eyebrows though. And yes, that's a huge blunt even if it looks like a crayon, all Québec Gold.

EDIT: I give you the cheeks though, you're right about that.

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You got some great work man! Keep it up! You going to school for art or anything? We can talk anatomy books later if ya like... right now I gotta go grab some checks and buy some food.


Thanks, I did one session in animation but dropped because I hated it, plus you can't stay in that program without sacrifying your social life to elder Gods and your sanity to the perspective teacher's freaky shirts. I'm sortof slowly moving away from drawing, but still can do one or two worthwile pieces every once in a while.

Fun fact: anatomy was my best class for the last year.

Also, I'm not verry confortable talking specific art stuff in english, I lack proper vocabular, so sorry if there are terms that are too generic or miss-used in there.
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trolley

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #7 on: 24 Aug 2005, 09:21 »

I like the second one best. The art is amazing, but the choice of colours as well is so warm and inviting.
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twentyfour

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #8 on: 24 Aug 2005, 11:16 »

Quote from: Mr Blue Sky

I'm surprised you didn't point the horrible eyebrows though. And yes, that's a huge blunt even if it looks like a crayon, all Québec Gold.


The eyebrows look fine to me dude, not great but they work. About the eyes and mouth, well, I say they don't fit the style. We'll just agree to disagree on that :D

Also, is it just me or can you make up a name for weed by saying "Random Colour" "Random City".
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My Aim Is True

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More Egoism, maybe NSFW
« Reply #9 on: 24 Aug 2005, 12:35 »

in the second one, the hand and leg bother me.

the third one is very well done, good composition and detail, though the whole pot thing just kind of makes it feel bland to me.

the first one is my favorite. I noticed some of the anatomy stuff, and moreso after twentyfour pointed it out, but that's obviously not the point of it. I like that the figure looks sort of emaciated, but also flabby at the same time. very imperfect, like real bodies.
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