Topic: The Plank and other useless actors... (Read 10574 times)

shrimp · « **on:** 02 Dec 2005, 15:48 »

I was watching crap tv last night and who should come on screen but Keanu Reeves. I detest that man, he has as much acting talent as an oak 2x4. Due to this he is affectionately known in my home as "the Plank".

I was wondering if we could discuss what makes an actor good and what makes one dreadful enough to be on Keanu's level- give examples!!

Peet · « **Reply #1 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 16:08 »

Jude Law. Have you ever seen him act?

Me neither.

shrimp · « **Reply #2 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 16:17 »

Yes, this is true.. he's a pretty boy with an accent.

Merkava · « **Reply #3 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 19:09 »

I thought he was ok in AI. Too bad AI sucked.

Sean Connery is another example of wood, and not the manly urges kind.

Describing what makes an actor good is hard. He has to have some range. He can't just play one type of character over and over. Also, he has to BE, not indicate. You have to completely forget that the actor is at all in the movie. You have to refer to him as a character and become involved in his conflicts. Indicating would just cause most people to think "ok, so he's playing this role". That's not good.

Stifled Dreams · « **Reply #4 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 19:17 »

Watching Keanu Reeves play Siddhartha Gautama in "Little Buddha" during History was pretty hilarious.

I think that for an actor to be truly amazing, their performances should be near-flawless. As in, nothing should look fake. At all. Like Merkava said, you should be referring to them in your mind as the character they are portraying, not as themselves. A good actor should be able to take mediocre dialogue and make it seem real. They should also know which scripts to take and which scripts to reject!

jhocking · « **Reply #5 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 19:31 »

I am The Plank!

yelley · « **Reply #6 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 19:36 »

Quote from: Stifled Dreams

I think that for an actor to be truly amazing, their performances should be near-flawless. As in, nothing should look fake. At all. Like Merkava said, you should be referring to them in your mind as the character they are portraying, not as themselves. A good actor should be able to take mediocre dialogue and make it seem real. They should also know which scripts to take and which scripts to reject!

the only actor i can think of that i feel this way about is viggo mortensen. i kinda had to think for a while to remember that his name isn't really aragorn.

Bunnyman · « **Reply #7 on:** 02 Dec 2005, 19:42 »

Watch History of Violence. You'll be calling him Joey.

jariku · « **Reply #8 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 04:27 »

Clint Eastwood is my favourite plank. I think Sergio Leone once said, that Clint has only two facial expressions: with the hat and without the hat.

That doesn't mean some of his movies aren't pure gold, though.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #9 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 06:34 »

Yeah, but Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger and others of their ilk just have tha je ne sais qouis of badassery.

Connery's not a bad actor either, to be fair. He's just typecast and never changes his accent.

jhocking · « **Reply #10 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 06:59 »

Highlander: In a movie set in the scottish countryside, the only scotsman on the cast played an egyptian swordsman. That casting director deserves a raise!

Leonidas · « **Reply #11 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 08:00 »

With regards to Keanu, the best role I've seen him play was that of Mr Anderson/Neo in the first Matrix movie. Playing the role of someone who has found themselves into a bigger and greater world where they don't belong, and not having a clue about what is going on around him.

Flawless performance.

jariku · « **Reply #12 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 08:11 »

Quote from: jhocking

Highlander: In a movie set in the scottish countryside, the only scotsman on the cast played an egyptian swordsman.

Which brings to my mind the fact that Christopher Lambert also has only one facial expression.

I do like the first Highlander movie where there wasn't any of that stupid "oi, we're from space" crap or the "oi, I was in a cave for 3 million years, so you have to fight me too" dung they've filled all the sequels with.

Merkava · « **Reply #13 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 17:36 »

Quote from: jariku

Clint Eastwood is my favourite plank. I think Sergio Leone once said, that Clint has only two facial expressions: with the hat and without the hat.

That doesn't mean some of his movies aren't pure gold, though.

Hey, hey, hey. You must be feeling lucky to be dissin the Clint, punk.

Man, Dirty Harry was a great movie.

shrimp · « **Reply #14 on:** 03 Dec 2005, 18:59 »

Quote from: Leonidas

With regards to Keanu, the best role I've seen him play was that of Mr Anderson/Neo in the first Matrix movie. Playing the role of someone who has found themselves into a bigger and greater world where they don't belong, and not having a clue about what is going on around him.

Flawless performance.

LOL! Excellent point.. vacant idiocy was easy for him

Bunnyman · « **Reply #15 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 02:23 »

Samuel L. Jackson, without fail, plays...Samuel L. Jackson.

Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino have fallen into playing their own character in everything as well. 'Tis a pity. They used to have such range.

ayePod · « **Reply #16 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 04:06 »

Anthony "A-Break" Anderson.

I'm the token black guy with the high pitched voice in every movie ever.

Vlishgnath · « **Reply #17 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 07:22 »

Anyone seen "The Big Kahuna"?

Kevin Spacey has a line it that I always reference when people discuss the makings of a good actor. I can't quote it exactly, but it's like "Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing, because it comes naturally. Like a great actor who looks like they're remembering something that happened to them instead of just saying their lines."

Not enough actors possess that quality. Depp is one of them that does, imo. So many movies he makes, I don't feel like I'm watching a "Johhny Depp movie" so much as viewing a story about the character he's immersed himself in.

There are some actors that simply get type-cast into life long roles, like DeNiro. Yeah he always plays the same basic guy, but I still love the movies. Well, the good ones anyway. >.>

My personal nomination for plank-acting? Ben Affleck.

Cpt.Fantastic · « **Reply #18 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 14:19 »

Quote from: Vlishgnath

Kevin Spacey has a line it that I always reference when people discuss the makings of a good actor. I can't quote it exactly, but it's like "Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing, because it comes naturally. Like a great actor who looks like they're remembering something that happened to them instead of just saying their lines."

Like Marlon Brando before he got dissident?

I Am Not Amused · « **Reply #19 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 22:03 »

Kevin Spacey is a terrific actor in his own right.

But yes, Johnny Depp is spectacular. He can make you forget the fact that you're watching JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP, which is amazing.

Ewan McGregor, despite his sometimes terrible taste in scripts (see: The Island) can do this to a lesser extent and is, in my opinion, an underrated actor. He actually made Hayden Christensen seem good in their scenes in the Star Wars prequels.

I could go on, but I won't.

Bunnyman · « **Reply #20 on:** 06 Dec 2005, 23:19 »

Ewan McGregor would have me as a permanent fan if it weren't for...The Island, Moulin Rouge, etc etc etc. The man's a fucking masochist, which is a pity because he's usually quite good. Trainspotting was a watershed performance by anyone's standards. I was kinda twitching through Black Hawk Down. Whenever he entered the frame, my usual response was "What the fuck is Ewan doing here, anyway?"

Leonidas · « **Reply #21 on:** 07 Dec 2005, 06:57 »

I think Ewan was only there so that he could be on the credits.

And I have to say that I cringe everytime I hear him attempt an American accent.

Mnementh · « **Reply #22 on:** 07 Dec 2005, 09:44 »

To be fair to Connery, he can do other accents, but at the same time he got involved involved in Scottish politics he also refused to speak in any other accent but his own.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #23 on:** 07 Dec 2005, 23:36 »

The Scots have politics?

I figured "Scottish politics" just meant hitting someone with a big object for declaring themselves superior, then declaring yourself superior so someone can hit with with a big object.

At any rate, Moulin Rouge was awesome. Bite me.

Alyxz · « **Reply #24 on:** 23 Dec 2005, 22:33 »

Freddie Prince jr.

Bunnyman · « **Reply #25 on:** 24 Dec 2005, 00:41 »

Don't remind me.

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Author Topic: The Plank and other useless actors... (Read 10574 times)

shrimp

shrimp

Merkava

Stifled Dreams

Bunnyman

jariku

jariku

Merkava

shrimp

Bunnyman

ayePod

Vlishgnath

Cpt.Fantastic

Bunnyman

Mnementh

Alyxz

Bunnyman