Topic: I have a very serious question for metalheads (Read 34613 times)

Kai · « **Reply #50 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 14:47 »

Both types 1 and 2 are ridiculous and if you ever meet them you should totally befriend them, if only for the hilarity value.

Misereatur · « **Reply #51 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 15:05 »

Quote from: est

Quote from: KharBevNor
a bunch of stuff

Ok then. Am I to take it you're in the #3 category? It certainly sounds like Black metal dudes in cats #1 and #2 are hilarious. Whether they be purposefully or unintentionally so is irrelevant.

Dude, did you not see the Immortal picture?

And kai's right, befriending types 1 and 2 is fun. Going to concerts with them is even more hilarious.

Kai · « **Reply #52 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 15:32 »

Going to non black metal concerts is amazing-er.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #53 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 17:18 »

Quote from: Misereatur

A.
Leather, corpse paint, and looking ridiculous - this is what black metal is all about.

To quote the masters themselves:

Quote

Demonaz: Pure black, frost, spikes *slaps shinpads* skin...warpaint, corpsepaint...that's the pure black metal. That's all it's all about. The frost, is from the North...we are from Norway and we present black metal from Norway, and that's cold, woods, it's like... *slaps shinpads* spikes, and all that.
Abbath: Frost...
Demonaz: Frost, yeah. Blashyrk! Black metal from the Blashyrk.

Best metal interview of all time.

I've never been to a black metal concert

Like, nevar. I'm not counting Cradle of Filth. The black stage at Wacken will be like coming home, to a realm far removed from the prevalent heavy music tastes of my home country, which do rather suck camel cock.

If number 1 will consent to be your friend, then you either must be a 1 yourself, a member of one of their favourite bands, or be in possession of large amounts of psychoactive drugs and Finnish vodka you are willing to give them freely. If they befriend you without meeting any of those conditions, they're probably just a poser. Either that, or they totally want to sodomise you.[/quote]

beat mouse · « **Reply #54 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 17:42 »

most black metal is extremely opposed to drug use, though drinking a lot of wine isnt unheard of. Any decent black metal band anyways. Any half decent NSBM band will kill you for doing drugs without thinking twice!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #55 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 17:47 »

What drug used opposed black metal are you listening to? Because I'm just listening to The Meads of Asphodel screaming 'HASHISH HASHISH HASHISH HASHISH' and doubting your assertions. A lot.

Thanks, though, for giving me another insight into why NSBM bands and Christian bands both curiously suck so hard...

Bastardous Bassist · « **Reply #56 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 17:47 »

Quote from: beat mouse

Any half decent NSBM band will kill you for doing drugs without thinking twice!

Oh good, we're all safe.

beat mouse · « **Reply #57 on:** 19 Mar 2006, 19:39 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

What drug used opposed black metal are you listening to? Because I'm just listening to The Meads of Asphodel screaming 'HASHISH HASHISH HASHISH HASHISH' and doubting your assertions. A lot.

Thanks, though, for giving me another insight into why NSBM bands and Christian bands both curiously suck so hard...

I read an interview with Varg Vikernes a while back in which he kept going off about how he thought drug users should have been rounded up and killed instead of put in jail or something ridiculous. From everything I've heard/talked about it seems to be a strong theme in the NSBM scene.

öde · « **Reply #58 on:** 20 Mar 2006, 00:06 »

Quote from: beat mouse

I read an interview with Varg Vikernes a while back in which he kept going off about how he thought drug users should have been rounded up and killed instead of put in jail or something ridiculous. From everything I've heard/talked about it seems to be a strong theme in the NSBM scene.

That's pretty much their attitude to everything.

"Excuse me, one of your dogs just crapped on my lawn."
"So?"
"THEY WILL BE ROUNDED UP AND KILLED!"

beat mouse · « **Reply #59 on:** 20 Mar 2006, 00:55 »

dude nobody likes a shitty lawn.

the man in the moon · « **Reply #60 on:** 20 Mar 2006, 08:35 »

If you want to see some pretty good black metal photos go here:

http://www.peterbeste.com/ Then to Bodies Of Work and Norwegian Black Metal.

Also, props (or maybe halls of slaughtered virgins would be more appropriate in this case) to the guy who mentioned The Boosh and black metal in the same post.

Chris

Combinethresher · « **Reply #61 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 12:11 »

I think it's worth noting that the amount of times people have used the word "kreig" in this thread is just goddamned scary.

BeoPuppy · « **Reply #62 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:33 »

Quote from: Combinethresher

I think it's worth noting that the amount of times people have used the word "kreig" in this thread is just goddamned scary.

And if that is to be the german word for war it's misspelled.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #63 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:43 »

TYPO IST KRIEG!

BeoPuppy · « **Reply #64 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:44 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

TYPO IST KRIEG!

Okkay!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #65 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:48 »

This is so totally nerco.

BeoPuppy · « **Reply #66 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:50 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

This is so totally nerco.

Nerco ist kreig?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #67 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:51 »

Javhol!

BeoPuppy · « **Reply #68 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 14:52 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

Javhol!

Glad that we worked that out!

Combinethresher · « **Reply #69 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 17:23 »

What's sad is I can't even be bitchy about people making fun of my typo because it snowballed into a goofy joke.

But still, people shouldn't be able to say krieg with a straight face, especially when they're talking about a musical genre as nerdy and hopelessly silly as metal.

Trollstormur · « **Reply #70 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 21:15 »

only about as nerdy as the history channel meets dungeons and dra--

oh, right.

Bastardous Bassist · « **Reply #71 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 22:31 »

Quote from: Combinethresher

But still, people shouldn't be able to say krieg with a straight face, especially when they're talking about a musical genre as nerdy and hopelessly silly as metal.

Wait, should people be able to say krieg with a straight face about any other type of music?

Praeserpium Machinarum · « **Reply #72 on:** 25 Mar 2006, 23:34 »

The neue Belle & Sebastian Album ist krieg!

*straight face*

KharBevNor · « **Reply #73 on:** 26 Mar 2006, 01:40 »

But....BLACK. METAL. IST. KRIEEEG!

Kanwulf said so, so it totally must be true.

beat mouse · « **Reply #74 on:** 26 Mar 2006, 02:16 »

Quote from: Combinethresher

But still, people shouldn't be able to say krieg with a straight face, especially when they're talking about a musical genre as nerdy and hopelessly silly as metal.

Man I don't know how people can sit at coffeeshops talking about indie bands with a straight face and they dont even get fun buzz words like krieg grim necro or frostbitten.

Misereatur · « **Reply #75 on:** 26 Mar 2006, 06:13 »

Quote from: Praeserpium Machinarum

The neue Belle & Sebastian Album ist krieg!

*straight face*

Has Belle & Sebastian burned any churches latley? because if so, they are totally krieg.

To be necro, you'd have to drink a virgin's blood under a foolmoon. Or did they cahnge that? I did'nt get the memo.

Kai · « **Reply #76 on:** 26 Mar 2006, 06:29 »

Quote from: beat mouse

Quote from: Combinethresher
But still, people shouldn't be able to say krieg with a straight face, especially when they're talking about a musical genre as nerdy and hopelessly silly as metal.

Man I don't know how people can sit at coffeeshops talking about indie bands with a straight face and they dont even get fun buzz words like krieg grim necro or frostbitten.

Seriously guys. You're missing out.

Also, I totally know someone with the last name Krieg. It's pretty bitchin.

Combinethresher · « **Reply #77 on:** 26 Mar 2006, 12:05 »

Quote from: beat mouse

Man I don't know how people can sit at coffeeshops talking about indie bands with a straight face.

Yeah, I don't get that either.

tetsuotheironboy · « **Reply #78 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 14:29 »

I think the thing about metal is that after they've told you about how technically gifted the musicians are, gotten excited about how extreme it is etc etc, the average metalhead will follow up with 'ive got to admit, the lyrics are bloody stupid though'. Indie kids seem more stuck up, the fact that anyone could credit Pete Doherty with talent when he's clearly a worthless little smackhead with nothing to offer but bullshit opinions and arrogance proves the lack of self-awareness in the indie community. Outside of Tool fans (myself amongst them) to me it seems there isn't nearly as much pretension in heavier/more aggressive/just plain louder forms of music. Saw Entombed/Raging Speedhorn at a kind of extreme/underground 1 day metal festival held in a club. I think it counts as necro. possibly krieg. Oh, you americans should know necro is also the name of a hip hop mc who raps a kind of combination of black metal and gangsta rap, its the kind of shitty crossover appeal rubbish we all know and hate.
ooh, also on that billing, Sikth and Charger (Charger were a thing of beauty, i swear they played the same chord and the singer vomited the same word for half an hour then just left, any resemblance to actual music is purely coincidental)

nescience · « **Reply #79 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 17:20 »

All sides of music fanboy idiocy arguments are stupid.

Cerulaetas · « **Reply #80 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 18:30 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

1) true fucking black metallers. True fucking black metallers are 30 or maybe even 40 somethings who live mainly in Norway. They've been around probably since the beginning of the whole scene, and have been immersed in the whole thing so long they don't even have to try to be grim and krieg. It just comes naturally to them.
2) tr00 fucking black metallers. The fucking means a different things. These are teenagers who mainly live in the United States and desperately want to be 1. They have to try too fucking hard though. Any criticism of black metallers will almost certainly refer to this group, unless you're a huge fan of Norwegian stave churches.
3) people who like black metal. Don't really see what the fuss is about.

soap · « **Reply #81 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 18:40 »

has it been time for one of the 'big' uk rock/metal magazines to run the standard extra long article about the early 90s norweign black metal scene / murder / church burning yet ?

beyond in the nightside eclipse i never could really get into black metal, probably because they all took themselves waaaay to seriously and it just seemed a bit daft so i never bothered investigating much further than emperor.

although it always strikes me as a bit of a shame that a lot of people seem to think cradle of filth are the be all and end all of black metal, from what i've heard they aren't even a particularly good example of the genre, more like they're dani filth's ego trip, with some rude tshirts and a revolving door policy for pantomine goons who make up the rest of the band.
or thats how it seems to me at least, the only times i ever see anything written about them its about a sweary tshirt or yet another line-up change.
of course i could be entirely wrong but they do seem to be quite a poor band.

Kai · « **Reply #82 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 18:42 »

Cerulaetes, I desperately want to use that as an avatar.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #83 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 19:22 »

Cradle of Filth haven't really been true black metal since the mid nineties when they sold out for the first time by concentrating completely on fantasy horror lyrics rather than paganism/nationalism/anti-christianity after a tabloid scandal in which an extremely devoted fan of theirs desecrated a number of churches. They were always a bit black/death hybrid anyway, and from the first they've constantly evolved into a broader mix of metal styles that now, I have to say, owes far more to commercial considerations than any artistic convictions. The real reason that black metal fans tend to denounce all Cradle of Filth, however, is that they have never been entirely serious. I still like a lot of Cradle before the more dire recent albums simply because they're so much fun. Tr00 Black Metallers, even if they can't pin it down exactly, hate the percieved idea that a band MAY NOT BE TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY. It's one of the reasons Carpathian Forest don't get nratly as much respect as they deserve whilst Darkthrone, though they are admittedly quite good, get somewhat overhyped.

And some people do just hate Dani's voice, though my favourite comment on the whole thing is contained in a cartoon printed in the back of an early issue of Zero Tolerance, the site for which annoyingly down.

First Frame caption is "Cradle of Filth are always the subject of drastically differing critical viewpoints. There are those who like them..." and then in the first frame a smiling metalhead giving a thumbs up and saying "Dani is the very essence of Masculinity!" Next frame, "There are those who don't..." and a grim black metaller frowning and saying "The only TRUE black metal band was formed before Time by the Aryan demon-father of Satan in the deepest caverns of Hell, recorded onto the genitalia of mutilated christian virgins and can only be heard by the corpses of long-dead pagan demigods!" and in the final frame the caption "...and those who really, really don't", with a picture of a distressed looking priest screaming "SATAN IS IN MY EARS".

beat mouse · « **Reply #84 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 19:30 »

Quote from: tetsuotheironboy

necro representin the death rap

word. necro and ill bill rule.

My contribution.

Kai · « **Reply #85 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 19:34 »

I would kill to use that as an avatar too.

Trollstormur · « **Reply #86 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 20:25 »

two of the three best black metal gifs, all to come out of 4chan. (4chan is an e-crypt where horrors often slither out of, lovecraft style. past horrors include the orly owls, party hards, gifs depicting patrick duffy's disembodied head murdering people. most running jokes come from 4chan.)

KharBevNor · « **Reply #87 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 20:45 »

What would you say was the other best black metal gif?

The only other one I can think of is the continuosly looping bit of Abbath rocking out from either the Blashryk or Grim and Frostbitten Kingdoms vids.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #88 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 22:24 »

Quote from: Kai

Cerulaetes, I desperately want to use that as an avatar.

That's my friend's last.fm avatar.

Trollstormur · « **Reply #89 on:** 05 Apr 2006, 23:17 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

What would you say was the other best black metal gif?

I can't remember, but I swear to god there was a third one. just trust me on this.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: I have a very serious question for metalheads (Read 34613 times)

the man in the moon

Combinethresher

Combinethresher

Praeserpium Machinarum

Combinethresher

tetsuotheironboy

nescience

Cerulaetas

soap