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Poetry is an art!

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schimmy:
Some of your stuff is really good, Khar, well done. Especially, as Scytale said, "A People's Tragedy", and "Do you ever dream?"
Scytale, I really like the line "And yeah, I've thought about suicide / More often than I'd like". I'm not quite sure why I like it, I think it's because it's so casual.

edit: a poem I think I'm almost done with:

untitled ( 8 )

I sit
scratching meaningless words into my arm.
the philosophy of the masses.
I hope one day they will mean something.
Something important
to somebody not
Drive humble men to noble deeds;
a social revolution, wars waged with words for love
not sticks and stones, for breaking bones
save each other, or save ourselves.

I sit
muttering repentance and sorrow
stories of life, of perpetual strife.
Of winning, but losing.
Of trying, but dying.
Is that all anyone does?
Every time a life is saved,
we're just putting it off.
One more day.

I don't see why we must do or die
when all I've ever learned is not to try.
Not much point acting to save ourselves
we're dead already, can't you tell?

Will:

--- Quote from: schimmy on 13 Mar 2007, 16:41 ---Scytale, I really like the line "And yeah, I've thought about suicide / More often than I'd like". I'm not quite sure why I like it, I think it's because it's so casual.

--- End quote ---
That line reminds me a bit of a line from a song on the Gnarls Barkley CD..."and I've tried everything but suicide / but it's crossed my mind (but I'm fine)"
I like them both, because they acknowledge the existence of that deeply despondent mindset, without wallowing in it. They just face the facts, and say "yeah, it's happened." and from that, at least I like to believe, they move on.

I have a whole bunch of stuff that I've written, and a lot of it can be found here. I debated which piece I wanted to post in this thread, and decided to go with one I wrote about a year and a half ago, at a show my band was playing. It's called "A View From The Payphone"

--- Quote ---A VIEW FROM THE PAYPHONE

Created
to contain a figure-head of isolation.
Obsolete and invalid,
with severed communications
that now face skyward -
a reflection of futility
in the scratched and filthy glass.

Then, a path to home.
Now a shelter from the storm.

No longer useful,
yet
necessary.

--- End quote ---

Scytale:
Thanks guys, glad you like it, that was inspired by a line from a Refused song 'Worms of the Senses":
 "And yeah, I like working doing nothing, not making anything",

I loved the whole deeply cynical yet entirely dissmissive vibe it had going, I wanted to try and put something like that in, my way of  saying, yeah this shit happen, not much you can do about it. Also when I sing that verse it has some nice assonace(sp?)  with "die", "suicide" and "like" all having that same vowel sound ending.

Will,

I like the last stanza, bought a smile to my face...

KaosPilot:
I wrote this poem for class. It's called 'Exodus'.

We?re dancing in all directions. That?s how it starts. Dressed like nonsense with your tentacles tucked into your pockets. Creeping off-kilter to the beat. ?You?ll come to no good boy! No good at all! ? In your Auntie?s Sunday best ? Let me comb your hair and then we?ll go together.

She?s not very pretty but she creeps well. A vine slides slowly along the surface above us, a defunct safety net. The fall has already been taken. Christ. Didn?t you see it? With your eyes in your handbag probably not. Safe there. God. We?ll have lightning bolts in our eyes all night if we keep thundering on like this.

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