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[camelpimp]

Yes, I know, not a particularly original sentiment. I'm shooting fish in a barrel, but these fish are already dead, and I'm using a machine gun. Normally, I will feel no need to even mention it, but since one of my managers plays the damn stuff (and it's always THE SAME. DAMN. SONGS) every day he comes in, my rage has grown to consume me.

Is there a percentage of stupid enough Americans to like this shit? I can understand liking any other type of pop music; I can understand listening to pop music to dance to it, or if you enjoy competently crafted songs of universal appeal. But the "universal appeal" of country is so manufactured I wonder how anyone can fail to see it. "Oh yes, beer, pick-up trucks, it's just like my life! They put that in there because they understand my life, not because it's on the pop-country check-list." Let's not talk about the actual music of it, because there's nothing to talk about. (Well, maybe some of the female singers can sing)

Am I totally off-base here? Is there a redeeming feature of this I'm missing?

[öde]

Is there a percentage of stupid enough Americans to like this shit?

There's no emoticon adequate for how much I am laughing (combined with rolling my eyes) right now.

[Ravenbomb]

It's worse now that they're trying to assimilate everything with a vaguely southern sound and saying "Look! That's country music!"

[Lexington, 125]

Does anyone else notice the parallels between rap & country vids?  It's hilarious- it's as if LiL John took over making videos for the country stars.


Rap                                                           Country                                 


Pimped out cars-------------------------------> Pimped out flat bed trucks

girls dancing around said car -------------> girls dancing in bed of truck

bottles of champagne -----------------------> bottles of beer

pitbulls ------------------------------------------>  bloodhounds



& every bit as misogynistic as the rap vids.... Gangsta Country beeeeeeeeeyooooooooootch   

[Ishotdanieljohnston]

I don't really see that one.

It is amazing cause they must have some sort of market for this shite.

I'm not neccesarilly sure if it's stupid Americans as such so much as it is Americans who don't like to think.

[Inlander]

10/10 for specifying "pop-country". Normally with these threads we just have silly people saying "I hate country" when what they really mean is Nash-trash.

[SeanBateman]

You know what else I hear is pretty bad?

Airline food.

[SeanBateman]

For the record, I have no real problem with Trashville stuff as music, just a problem with it for making everyone think country is fucking terrible. Also for Shitting up the memories of the legends.

[Kai]

You know what else I hear is pretty bad?

Airline food.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??

[Will]

I'm pretty sure that the group Sugarland is THE worst thing to happen to all of country music. Their last couple of singles have very little resemblence to anything that could be even loosely described as music; instead, they seem to have gone for the "what would happen if we took a cat in heat and inserted a toilet plunger, business-end first, into her netherparts. Man, that would be TOTALLY AWESOME COUNTRY MUSIC!!!" approach.

[Emaline]

I used to work in a restaurant where we had to play this stuff all the time. It's fucking hilarious. Of course, it's absolutely terrible, and possibly brain rotting, but it's so fucking hilarious. Look at it this way, there are people out there who take this stuff seriously. It's fucking funny. I present to you Hillbilly Deluxe by Brooks and Dunn.

Hey, up in the backwoods, down in the holler,
Old boys feelin' like a dog on a collar,
Keepin' that chain pulled tight,
Waitin' on Saturday night.

Put on the smell-good, put on skinner'n,
Head into to town like a NASCAR winner.
Cruisin' back an' forth to the Tasty-Freeze.
Everywhere you look, all you see...

Its hillbilly deluxe, slick pick-up trucks.
Big timin' in a small town.
Stirrin' it up right about sundown.
Black denim an' chrome to the bone with a little home grown.
A country girl cuddled up...
Hillbilly deluxe.

Yeah, couple cute sweet things drivin' a fastback.
Shoot 'em a cool smile hopin' that they smile back.
"Hey, Baby, what's you name?"
Burn a little rubber when the red lights change.

Here come the blue lights, here come Barney.
Hot on the beer, y'all, let's move the party.
Gotta go, but that's all right...
Do it all again next Friday night.

Hillbilly deluxe, slick pick-'em-up trucks.
Big timin' in a small town.
Stirrin' it up right about sundown.
Black denim an' chrome to the bone with a little home grown.
Country girl cuddled up...
Hillbilly deluxe.

[Instrumental Break]

Hillbilly deluxe, slick pick-'em-up trucks.
Big timin' in a small town.
Stirrin' it up right about sundown.
Black denim an' chrome to the bone with a little home grown.
Country girl cuddled up...
Hillbilly deluxe.
Hillbilly deluxe.
Hillbilly deluxe.

[Instrumental fade]


Oh god, the chorus there. It's just great.


And then we have Ticks By Brad Paisley. This is a great one about meeting a girl in a bar(complete with a tramp stamp), and then taking her out to the boones for some field sex. Oh god it's great.


Everytime you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
And in the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peek-a-boo
I'd like to see the other half
Of your butterfly tattoo

Hey that gives me an idea
Lets get out of this bar
And drive out into the country
And find a place to park

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

I know the perfect little path
In these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe, I've got your back
And I've also got your front
I'd hate to waste a night like this
I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you
When we get there is me

You know ever guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
And that ain't what I want

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oooh, you never know where one might be
And oooh, there's lots of places that are hard to reach

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oh, I'd sure like to check you for ticks

I know a lot about horrible pop country. I love it, because it is so fucking horrible.

[Johnny C]

There is no genre I could ream out more fully than pop-country. It's vapid, soulless garbage created precisely to shift units from the ground up. It's a commercial for the cause of making a person famous which is one of the most disgusting reasons for putting music out there. For the most part it appeals directly and broadly to the lowest common denominator, promoting a disgusting anti-intellectualism and dismissing naysayers as people who are just opposed to a good time or worse. I won't even delve into the racism, or the self-serving nature of a bunch of the songs, or the almost absurdist degree to which each pop-country tune adheres to a strict archetype of what a song should sound like and be about.

But let's put aside the flag-waving jingoism for a moment, and let's put aside the trucks, and barbecue stains, and sleazy women, and drinkin', and havin' a good ol' time with the good ol' boys, shall we? And instead, let's just talk about the odious nature of pop-country fans.

I live in Saskatchewan, which is pretty much the pickup-truck-with-Fox-Sports-or-Calvin-pissing-on-something-or-if-you're-a-girl-butterflies-or-Roxy-or-some-shit-anyhow-the-point-is-there's-a-decal-or-three-and-probably-a-"wicked-deck"-in-it capital of the world. If you don't run into one of these loathesome vehicles once in a ten minute span while outside there's a good chance you're not even near where I live. The girl owners of these trucks tend to be nice enough people - mostly - but the guy owners are probably 95% douchebag. And you know what? Every single one of those 95% listens almost exclusively to pop-country. They might know a little AC/DC or Van Halen or, God help us, Aerosmith, but for the most part their subwoofers are turned to an obnoxious volume so you can hear Toby Keith or Keith Urban or Tim Fucking McGraw through eight layers of concrete and a blast door. And I have to deal with these assholes every day of my life.

When I have a conversation with one of these people I have to essentially steer it away from anything that remotely interests me. They hate the movies I like because "sometimes I just like to go to a movie where I don't have to think." Yeah, I didn't get fucking sick of that during four years of high school. They hate the music I like - "What is this, emo?" (Don't even get me started on what they think about country music which is actually in the least bit catchy, creative and even vaguely intelligent.) They could give a damn about books, or politics, or history, or frankly anything outside of how much money they're making at their job and what they're doing this weekend and how the local football team is doing - and anyone that gives a shit about anything else they heap layers of scorn upon. They chew tobacco, wear cowboy hats year-round and even indoors, call everybody by "bud-deeee," use racial slurs like "dirty nate" (the meaning of which is pretty obvious) and act essentially like God crowned them King Shit Of Fuck Mountain.

And you know what? Coincidentally, I know exactly one person who doesn't listen exclusively to pop-country that acts even remotely like that. People say that Tool fans or Bright Eyes fans or what have you are bad, but at least they're tolerable and at the bare minimum borderline literate. Plus, Tool fans and Bright Eyes fans don't for the most part hate Native Americans or Arabic people.

For me pop-country is the beacon of cultural death. It's the sound of our society dumbing itself down, praising a version of Jesus who is all about ass kicking and not so much about loving thy neighbour and falling drunkenly on its own huntin' knife. Fuck it straight to hell.

[David_Dovey]

...King Shit of Fuck Mountain...

Was it this king that ordered the horrible Breast Attack on Fuck Mountain?

[Caspian]

Contrary to popular belief, there is worse music out there. Link: http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,16266.0.html

But yeah, i do find this stuff pretty annoying. My Mum loved a Shania Twain album (Come on Over, it was called. It went 11 Times platinum in Australia). Still, while I find it annoying I can ignore fairly easily, unlike, say, terrible R&B, Avril Lavringe and the like.

[KharBevNor]

Now come on, y'all.

[Stefan Autsa]

Thankfully, we don't get it in the UK.

I live in England also.  However, I have two friends whom both wear American football jerseys, watch American Football and eat nothing but American "candy".  And they bake cornbread. And listen to Garth Brooks.

What. The. Fuck.

[negative creep]

no pop-country in germany! i suggest all of you amurkans move over here. seriously, everything is better!

[Stefan Autsa]

Is that really worse than the alternative?

The alternative is to never leave the house.  Which I am doing.

[hihowareyou]

Life iz 2 short 2 h8

[imapiratearg]

I tend to stray from everything mainstream in America today.  Strictly for the reason that the American populous seems to be getting stupider every minute.  Pop music tends to display this trend.  Particularly pop country and hip hop/rap.

[Lexington, 125]

Is that really worse than the alternative?

Wow behind the scenes clips from Shaun of the Dead 2   

[Johnny C]

Pop-country fans are this nation's chavs.

[!!!CPAOI!!!]

There is no genre I could ream out more fully than pop-country. It's vapid, soulless garbage created precisely to shift units from the ground up. It's a commercial for the cause of making a person famous which is one of the most disgusting reasons for putting music out there. For the most part it appeals directly and broadly to the lowest common denominator, promoting a disgusting anti-intellectualism and dismissing naysayers as people who are just opposed to a good time or worse. I won't even delve into the racism, or the self-serving nature of a bunch of the songs, or the almost absurdist degree to which each pop-country tune adheres to a strict archetype of what a song should sound like and be about.

But let's put aside the flag-waving jingoism for a moment, and let's put aside the trucks, and barbecue stains, and sleazy women, and drinkin', and havin' a good ol' time with the good ol' boys, shall we? And instead, let's just talk about the odious nature of pop-country fans.

I live in Saskatchewan, which is pretty much the pickup-truck-with-Fox-Sports-or-Calvin-pissing-on-something-or-if-you're-a-girl-butterflies-or-Roxy-or-some-shit-anyhow-the-point-is-there's-a-decal-or-three-and-probably-a-"wicked-deck"-in-it capital of the world. If you don't run into one of these loathesome vehicles once in a ten minute span while outside there's a good chance you're not even near where I live. The girl owners of these trucks tend to be nice enough people - mostly - but the guy owners are probably 95% douchebag. And you know what? Every single one of those 95% listens almost exclusively to pop-country. They might know a little AC/DC or Van Halen or, God help us, Aerosmith, but for the most part their subwoofers are turned to an obnoxious volume so you can hear Toby Keith or Keith Urban or Tim Fucking McGraw through eight layers of concrete and a blast door. And I have to deal with these assholes every day of my life.

When I have a conversation with one of these people I have to essentially steer it away from anything that remotely interests me. They hate the movies I like because "sometimes I just like to go to a movie where I don't have to think." Yeah, I didn't get fucking sick of that during four years of high school. They hate the music I like - "What is this, emo?" (Don't even get me started on what they think about country music which is actually in the least bit catchy, creative and even vaguely intelligent.) They could give a damn about books, or politics, or history, or frankly anything outside of how much money they're making at their job and what they're doing this weekend and how the local football team is doing - and anyone that gives a shit about anything else they heap layers of scorn upon. They chew tobacco, wear cowboy hats year-round and even indoors, call everybody by "bud-deeee," use racial slurs like "dirty nate" (the meaning of which is pretty obvious) and act essentially like God crowned them King Shit Of Fuck Mountain.

And you know what? Coincidentally, I know exactly one person who doesn't listen exclusively to pop-country that acts even remotely like that. People say that Tool fans or Bright Eyes fans or what have you are bad, but at least they're tolerable and at the bare minimum borderline literate. Plus, Tool fans and Bright Eyes fans don't for the most part hate Native Americans or Arabic people.

For me pop-country is the beacon of cultural death. It's the sound of our society dumbing itself down, praising a version of Jesus who is all about ass kicking and not so much about loving thy neighbour and falling drunkenly on its own huntin' knife. Fuck it straight to hell.

Amen brother!

[Will]

Johnny, if I ever decide I want to get fired from my job, do I have your permission to read that manifesto of yours on the air during my morning air shift? That was a thing of beauty...

[amok]

Never come across anything like that here, or any of the stuff in the other country thread. Guess the UK is indeed a pretty country-free zone.

[camelpimp]

Everytime you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
And in the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peek-a-boo
I'd like to see the other half
Of your butterfly tattoo

Hey that gives me an idea
Lets get out of this bar
And drive out into the country
And find a place to park

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

I know the perfect little path
In these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe, I've got your back
And I've also got your front
I'd hate to waste a night like this
I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you
When we get there is me

You know ever guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
And that ain't what I want

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oooh, you never know where one might be
And oooh, there's lots of places that are hard to reach

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oh, I'd sure like to check you for ticks

I know a lot about horrible pop country. I love it, because it is so fucking horrible.

I heard that song, but I can't remember the "I'd sure like to check you for ticks." Maybe I should withdraw my "lack of creativity" accusation. You have to be creative to come up with lyrics that bad. That totally beats the lyrics I wrote with "The Words You Should Not Use in a Love Song." By faaaaaaar.

[schimmy]

And I'd like to check you for ticks
...
But I've got way more class than them

[Emaline]

This is exactly why you people need to learn to, for lack of a better word, appreciate this pop-country music crap. It's terrible. Don't take it seriously. Laugh at it.


I'm not a fan by any means. I hate it, but when you have to hear it every single day, laughing at it helps to live with it.

[E. Spaceman]

since you seem knowledgeable, do you know of any songs about working at walmart?

[squawk]

I live in Bakersfield and JC basically described where I live.  We like to tout that we are California's Country Music Capital, because of all the country music history things that happened here. But I don't mind all that stuff! It's the twelve pop-country stations we have (okay the actual number is probably three or four but that is still too many) and everything Johnny described.

Also, one of my brothers likes to listen to this stuff. In the car. With me in it.

[Emaline]

since you seem knowledgeable, do you know of any songs about working at walmart?

None come to mind, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. I'm somewhat sure that they do.

[pat101]

There is no genre I could ream out more fully than pop-country. It's vapid, soulless garbage created precisely to shift units from the ground up. It's a commercial for the cause of making a person famous which is one of the most disgusting reasons for putting music out there. For the most part it appeals directly and broadly to the lowest common denominator, promoting a disgusting anti-intellectualism and dismissing naysayers as people who are just opposed to a good time or worse. I won't even delve into the racism, or the self-serving nature of a bunch of the songs, or the almost absurdist degree to which each pop-country tune adheres to a strict archetype of what a song should sound like and be about.

But let's put aside the flag-waving jingoism for a moment, and let's put aside the trucks, and barbecue stains, and sleazy women, and drinkin', and havin' a good ol' time with the good ol' boys, shall we? And instead, let's just talk about the odious nature of pop-country fans.

I live in Saskatchewan, which is pretty much the pickup-truck-with-Fox-Sports-or-Calvin-pissing-on-something-or-if-you're-a-girl-butterflies-or-Roxy-or-some-shit-anyhow-the-point-is-there's-a-decal-or-three-and-probably-a-"wicked-deck"-in-it capital of the world. If you don't run into one of these loathesome vehicles once in a ten minute span while outside there's a good chance you're not even near where I live. The girl owners of these trucks tend to be nice enough people - mostly - but the guy owners are probably 95% douchebag. And you know what? Every single one of those 95% listens almost exclusively to pop-country. They might know a little AC/DC or Van Halen or, God help us, Aerosmith, but for the most part their subwoofers are turned to an obnoxious volume so you can hear Toby Keith or Keith Urban or Tim Fucking McGraw through eight layers of concrete and a blast door. And I have to deal with these assholes every day of my life.

When I have a conversation with one of these people I have to essentially steer it away from anything that remotely interests me. They hate the movies I like because "sometimes I just like to go to a movie where I don't have to think." Yeah, I didn't get fucking sick of that during four years of high school. They hate the music I like - "What is this, emo?" (Don't even get me started on what they think about country music which is actually in the least bit catchy, creative and even vaguely intelligent.) They could give a damn about books, or politics, or history, or frankly anything outside of how much money they're making at their job and what they're doing this weekend and how the local football team is doing - and anyone that gives a shit about anything else they heap layers of scorn upon. They chew tobacco, wear cowboy hats year-round and even indoors, call everybody by "bud-deeee," use racial slurs like "dirty nate" (the meaning of which is pretty obvious) and act essentially like God crowned them King Shit Of Fuck Mountain.

And you know what? Coincidentally, I know exactly one person who doesn't listen exclusively to pop-country that acts even remotely like that. People say that Tool fans or Bright Eyes fans or what have you are bad, but at least they're tolerable and at the bare minimum borderline literate. Plus, Tool fans and Bright Eyes fans don't for the most part hate Native Americans or Arabic people.

For me pop-country is the beacon of cultural death. It's the sound of our society dumbing itself down, praising a version of Jesus who is all about ass kicking and not so much about loving thy neighbour and falling drunkenly on its own huntin' knife. Fuck it straight to hell.

I live in small time, extreme bible belt, southern manitoba so I know exactly, and I mean exactly, what you mean. It's pretty fucking shitty.

[jeph]

man guys you know what i hate

cancer

[schimmy]

Caps and punctuation, pls.

[jeph]

it's my party and i'll ignore proper grammar if i want to

[jeph]

To be fair, their debut album was pretty good.



The guy on the cover didn't think so though.

Oh man, Freddie Mercury looks pissed

[Ravenbomb]

Man, that ain't Freddy Mercury, that's the dude from Back to School.

[camelpimp]

it's my party and i'll ignore proper grammar if i want to

Oh, so if I ignore grammar, I get grammar-nazi-ed, but you can, hell TyPE lIkE TiHS if you wanted.

Communist.

[Inlander]

More Stalinist the Communist, really.

[fish across face]

By "party" Jeph didn't mean "social gathering".

[jeph]

it's my party and i'll ignore proper grammar if i want to

Oh, so if I ignore grammar, I get grammar-nazi-ed, but you can, hell TyPE lIkE TiHS if you wanted.

Communist.

More like malevolent, capricious dictator.

[camelpimp]

I know communist when I see it! I went to two party schools!

[Johnny C]

/r/ing "this is a fucking dictatorship" shoop

[Heresiarch]

Does anyone else notice the parallels between rap & country vids?  It's hilarious- it's as if LiL John took over making videos for the country stars.

Rap                                                           Country                                 

Pimped out cars-------------------------------> Pimped out flat bed trucks
girls dancing around said car -------------> girls dancing in bed of truck
bottles of champagne -----------------------> bottles of beer
pitbulls ------------------------------------------>  bloodhounds

& every bit as misogynistic as the rap vids.... Gangsta Country beeeeeeeeeyooooooooootch   

Now I need to hear a Rap / Country mash-up complete with video. The video would be split screen with the rap cliches on the left, corresponding country version on the right.

It'd be the funniest thing since Dynamite Hack covered Boyz-N-The-Hood.  

[Joseph]

That song was much, much better before the cover.

[Ravenbomb]

Does anyone else notice the parallels between rap & country vids?  It's hilarious- it's as if LiL John took over making videos for the country stars.

Rap                                                           Country                                 

Pimped out cars-------------------------------> Pimped out flat bed trucks
girls dancing around said car -------------> girls dancing in bed of truck
bottles of champagne -----------------------> bottles of beer
pitbulls ------------------------------------------>  bloodhounds

& every bit as misogynistic as the rap vids.... Gangsta Country beeeeeeeeeyooooooooootch   

Now I need to hear a Rap / Country mash-up complete with video. The video would be split screen with the rap cliches on the left, corresponding country version on the right.

It'd be the funniest thing since Dynamite Hack covered Boyz-N-The-Hood.  

Well, Nelly did a duet with some country singer bloke. Dunno about the video, but there was a rap/country mash-up at least.

[Inlander]

And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oooh, you never know where one might be
And oooh, there's lots of places that are hard to reach

I don't know what everyone's talking about. Those are amazingly awesome lyrics.

[Mnementh]

All of this is one reason outlaw country is making a huge comeback.

[Johnny C]

Your definition of "huge" intrigues me.

[schimmy]

It makes him feel less insecure.