Topic: Ruined.... (Read 10049 times)

iliketodraw · « **on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:07 »

Hey There,

I've recently split up with my girlfriend of 3 years (well, not that recently but that's not important) and now all may favorite music reminds me of her. Whenever i hear certain songs i love i have to skip them in order to stop myself from plunging into that all-too-familiar pool of regret and upset. As you can imagine this sucks both for my ipod and my sanity. Have you guys ever had anything like this and how did you overcome it?

thankingyou.

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #1 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:26 »

Sort of but it was a shorter term thing and the girl in question turned out to be an absolute pain in the ass to deal with so it wasn't nearly as bad I'm sure. I think you'll get over it with time. Maybe try to associate other memories with the songs in question or something. Of course it might take awhile but eventually you'll be able to enjoy the music again. In the meantime, this is a good opportunity to explore new genres/artists and possibly find some new favorites. That's my attempt on trying to put positive spin on the situation anyway. Hope it all works out for you.

Kai · « **Reply #2 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:33 »

Tommy's suggestion is a good one. Pick an artist and go with it.

I suggest Pantera.

iliketodraw · « **Reply #3 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:34 »

My music taste spans from NMH and the unicorns to antimatter and techno animal to tool (i know...) and coal chamber. I'll try anything at the moment.

Kai · « **Reply #4 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:36 »

(yeah I got rid of that post cause I felt like a dick)

iliketodraw · « **Reply #5 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:37 »

Got rid of the reply because i felt bad that you felt like a dick...

TrekkieTechie · « **Reply #6 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:43 »

Same thing happened to me in high school, except it was really just finally accepting that a years-long unrequited-love was never going to happen. My musical horizons back then weren't what you'd cal 'broad', and my current love has gotten me into more and different types of music, so I actually don't listen to much of the same music I did back then.

It occurs to me that this is less-than-helpful... sorry about that. =| Bob Dylan's always good, though.

iliketodraw · « **Reply #7 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:44 »

Yeah I'm gonna try some dylan, thanks guys.

TrekkieTechie · « **Reply #8 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:50 »

You should go listen to The Fray, it'd help you sulk.

iliketodraw · « **Reply #9 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:52 »

and through Dylan comes an overwhelming urge to listen to Floyd and Teh Beatles.....

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #10 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 15:59 »

I'm assuming you've listened to Islands if you're a Unicorns fan. If not, listen to Islands. If you like NMH, A Hawk and a Hacksaw is a former NMH members instrumental, balkan influenced band. It's really great. Give them a listen. As far as these singer/songwriter things go, Songs: Ohia are very good, kinda mellow folksy stuff and well worth a listen.

Thrillho · « **Reply #11 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 16:21 »

'Idiot Wind' by Bob Dylan and 'Far From Me' by Nick Cave heal all relationship wounds between them.

Inlander · « **Reply #12 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 18:16 »

Learn to deal with pain. Things will happen in your life that will make you unhappy. There's no point trying to run away from it: instead, embrace it as part of life's rich pageant. Remember that every human being is going through the same thing, has gone through the same thing, or will go through the same thing: realise that though you're hurting now, your pain is just part of a larger emotional whole which places you in an unending and unbroken web with billions of other human beings; thus, though it might not seem like it now, you can regard what you're going through as a gift rather than as a wound. With time you will learn to focus on the good times instead of the bad times, and you'll welcome the memories.

Wait, that wasn't musical advice. Um . . .

Quote

life's rich pageant

Get into some early R.E.M.?

E. Spaceman · « **Reply #13 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 18:50 »

Pretend it is the late 1900s!

You should listen to the following three albums

The Verve - Urban Hymns
Blur - 13
Spiritualized - Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space

Gryff · « **Reply #14 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 19:13 »

On the Dylan thing, if you haven't discovered Blood on the Tracks yet, now would be the perfect time.

Johnny C · « **Reply #15 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 19:34 »

[to be sung to the tune of Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up"]

When I am down, and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Okkervil River put out an album last year,
Black Sheep Boy, I hold it close to me

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #16 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 19:44 »

Ooh, good choice. I'd extend that to the Black Sheep Boy Appendix to any and all Okkervil River albums actually. Terrific stuff, all of it. And it's a lot better than Will Scheff's other band, Shearwater but even some of their stuff is well worth a listen.

fish across face · « **Reply #17 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 21:24 »

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 14 Jul 2007, 15:59

As far as these singer/songwriter things go, Songs: Ohia are very good, kinda mellow folksy stuff and well worth a listen.

There's a bunch of his songs on epitonic.com that are free to download.

IronOxide · « **Reply #18 on:** 14 Jul 2007, 22:11 »

When I am sad and listening to music, I have a three tier system that works wonders.

1. Sulk - Something sad that exemplifies your bad mood. My current favorites for this step are He Poos Clouds by Final Fantasy and Either/Or by Elliott Smith.

2. Lift - Something that is generally happy, but can still have a sad track or two. Tigermilk by Belle and Sebastian or Agaetis Byrjun by Sigur Ros

finally
3. Dance the sadness away - Any kind of dance music. Duran Duran, Girl Talk, Soulwax, New Order, LCD Soundsystem; anything that is difficult to listen to while sitting down.

This has helped me get through stuff from fights to deaths in the family. It works.

loyalpeon · « **Reply #19 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 02:52 »

Quote from: Inlander on 14 Jul 2007, 18:16

Learn to deal with pain. Things will happen in your life that will make you unhappy. There's no point trying to run away from it: instead, embrace it as part of life's rich pageant. Remember that every human being is going through the same thing, has gone through the same thing, or will go through the same thing: realise that though you're hurting now, your pain is just part of a larger emotional whole which places you in an unending and unbroken web with billions of other human beings; thus, though it might not seem like it now, you can regard what you're going through as a gift rather than as a wound. With time you will learn to focus on the good times instead of the bad times, and you'll welcome the memories.

I agree. Somewhat. Endulge in the joy that underlines every sorrow. Also, listen to Leonard Cohen. In solemn moments such as these [he] has put [his] trust.

CmonMiracle · « **Reply #20 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 08:22 »

Listen to Journey.

Seriously though, after my ex and I broke up, I listened to the same music and although it was depressing, after awhile I stopped associating the music with him and just listened for the music, if that makes sense.

Felix_ · « **Reply #21 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 13:17 »

Maybe I'm somewhat of a masochist, but I actually enjoyed the feeling of being reminded, even if it did delve me into the 'pool of despair and regret'. I loved that the music had even more of a raw emotional attachment clinging to every single track, nearly dripping with the melancholy and depressive feelings of what was once possessed, now lost.

For you though, I'd have to suggest an Impaled Nazarene and Motorhead combo.

jeph · « **Reply #22 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 13:55 »

Have you heard of this band called Slint?

Thrillho · « **Reply #23 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 14:26 »

Dude, Funhouse.

Oh wait, it's the other one. Dude, Spiderland.

kablaaamo · « **Reply #24 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 15:36 »

When I am in the mood to sulk, I usually start listening to some dance music or cheesy electro and cook a variety of food. Put Tiga's 'Sexor' or some LCD Soundsystem or Junior Senior on really loud, make up a pot of soup, some muffins, maybe a curry, and invite friends to help you eat it. There is no staying sad when you do that.

I know how you're feeling; I still can't listen to some of my old favourite albums, and hearing songs from them hurts. This too shall pass, but it is fortunate that there is a lot of good music in this world 'cause I am here to tell you the depressing news: you might not enjoy those albums as much as you did ever again. Explore everything else though!

Liz · « **Reply #25 on:** 16 Jul 2007, 20:44 »

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 14 Jul 2007, 19:44

Ooh, good choice. I'd extend that to the Black Sheep Boy Appendix to any and all Okkervil River albums actually. Terrific stuff, all of it. And it's a lot better than Will Scheff's other band, Shearwater but even some of their stuff is well worth a listen.

Mmm, Shearwater. That's true glory right there.

Felix_ · « **Reply #26 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 03:42 »

Quote from: CmonMiracle on 16 Jul 2007, 08:22

Listen to Journey.

Nothing cures a broken heart like a little Steve Perry.

The extra letter · « **Reply #27 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 04:42 »

I hear Leonard Cohen is great if you're already feeling miserable.

Inlander · « **Reply #28 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 05:06 »

Well if you want music to wallow in, then the most depressing album ever is Counting Crows' August and Everything After. True story.

ScrambledGregs · « **Reply #29 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 09:05 »

Wrong!! The most depressing album of all time is Pink Moon.

IronOxide · « **Reply #30 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 10:24 »

Nah, the most depressing album of all time is The Dutchess.

amok · « **Reply #31 on:** 17 Jul 2007, 10:31 »

Quote from: tommydski on 14 Jul 2007, 15:29

Hard to believe it right now but it gets easier. I can't listen to certain albums for similar reasons. Namely because I hate the sensation of nostalgia.

I say fuck it. There's so much great music out there, just focus on something else for a few months. Pick an artist or a genre with a large back catalogue and plunge yourself into it. It's a variation of the 'lose yourself in work' treatment. Post some artists or bands you like and maybe we can give you some ideas.

Good suggestion this, endorsed I have nothing of value to add.

I'd suggest Porcupine Tree if you don't already know them. They have downright depressing songs for when you're in a wallowing mood, uplifting guitary bits that will cheer you up, and an extensive and diverse enough back catalogue that you can spend years fully appreciating their releases. And then there's the side projects like Blackfield and Wilson's older bands.

(lol, word filter '+ 1' to 'I have nothing of value to add'?)

Raj · « **Reply #32 on:** 19 Jul 2007, 17:09 »

The all-time ultimate breakup album is Shoot Out The Lights, by Richard and Linda Thompson.

StGabe · « **Reply #33 on:** 20 Jul 2007, 09:37 »

Postal Service -- Nothing Better
Stars -- My Ex Lover is Dead

Once you get past your denial stage and into anger or acceptance, those are some great breakup songs.

Thrillho · « **Reply #34 on:** 20 Jul 2007, 10:12 »

Quote from: IronOxide on 17 Jul 2007, 10:24

Nah, the most depressing album of all time is The Dutchess.

Closer?

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Ruined.... (Read 10049 times)

CmonMiracle

Felix_

kablaaamo

Felix_

ScrambledGregs

Raj

StGabe