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THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD

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Wolf:
Knock Knock

Who's there

9/11

9/11 Who?

You Said you'd never forget!

Patrick:
Heh, that's an old favorite of mine. Here's a decent one that I stole from somewhere.

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra.

'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'

'I can cut them for you,' said Dan the pharmacist, 'but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.'

'I'm 96,' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'

Yayniall:
Two boys are playing football in the park when one of them is attacked by a rottweiler. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog's collar and twists it, breaking the dog's neck. All the while, a newspaper reporter who was taking a stroll through the park is watching. He rushes over, introduces himself and takes out his pad and pencil to start his story for the next edition. He writes, "Manchester City fan saves friend from vicious animal." The boy interrupts: "But I'm not a City fan." The reporter starts again: "Stockport County fan saves friend from horrific attack." The boy interrupts again: "I'm not a County fan either." The reporter asks: "Who do you support, then?" "United," replies the boy. So the reporter starts again: "Rag bastard kills family pet...".

Zingoleb:
What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a rottweiler humping your leg?

You let the rottweiler finish.

pharmmajor:
I'm going to hell for this one...  :evil:

Farrah Fawcett dies and goes to Heaven. At the gates, she is greeted by Saint Peter who says to her, "Miss Fawcett, in your life you touched many people and did many things to help your fellow man. Therefore, you shall be granted one wish."

Farrah thinks it over for a bit and says, "What I want the most is for all the children of the world to be safe from harm and danger."

St. Peter replies, "Very well. We'll kill Michael Jackson."

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