Topic: Having a bandmate who hates about half the music you listen to (Read 9468 times)

Christophe · « **on:** 05 Oct 2007, 07:51 »

So I have a friend who plays bass and guitar for a local band whose style is kind-of a mix of Carlos Santana and early Pink Floyd... ok, who am I shitting, they sound like the Mars Volta sans vox, but they're cool nonetheless.

I've jammed with this friend and hung out with him for some time now, and we get along well, and have similar music tastes to the tune(s) of Modest Mouse, Sonic Youth, Arcade Fire, The Rapture, Radiohead, Talking Heads etc. But when it comes to anything remotely punk or "rock-and-roll" like Fugazi, Drive Like Jehu, Mission of Burma, anything remotely noisy or punky and he hates it. Going back to town from a show last night, I had control of the mp3 player and played some stuff, some of which he liked, some of which he didn't- what irked me is that he had the gall to tell me "this song sucks!" in reference to Burma's "Secrets". Whatever, he can say whatever he wanted to but that was a little rude, if anything. I enjoy jamming with him but I feel that when we start writing songs, he might cramp some of my style, by probably not letting me let out a Rick Frobergian scream or something.

What should I do? Should I keep jamming with him, knowing full well that I can't put out all my influences on the table, or just say "dude, it's not going to work out", as potentially awkward and stupid that is?

IronOxide · « **Reply #1 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 08:00 »

You should never work with him on anything.

It is a scientific fact two people with even slightly different viewpoints can never do anything productive.

Actually, if you can even avoid speaking to him, it would probably be for the best.

Caspian · « **Reply #2 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 08:51 »

Me and my drumming friend have this problem as well, although we literally have two bands in common: Pre Black Album Metallica, and Electric Wizard's 'Dopethrone' album. nonetheless, our jams are always great, though that may be because he's half deaf and can't always hear what I'm playing. We just play really slow stoner jams eevry time we're together.

Misereatur · « **Reply #3 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 09:31 »

My old highschool jazz band hated all of the music I listened to at the time.

Most of them are still good friends of mine, and we jam together once in a while when we have the time.

Johnny C · « **Reply #4 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 10:07 »

Honestly it's fine as long as it doesn't interfere with the band. It really is.

SusurrusIgnoramus · « **Reply #5 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 10:21 »

i think you could play off eachother... maybe even playing together will broaden both of your musical horizons...

don't write him off just yet. give it a try.

Ernest · « **Reply #6 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 12:09 »

The friend sounds like a piece of shit

I already hate him

ALoveSupreme · « **Reply #7 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 12:14 »

Most people I know, and most of the reactions to unpopular music on this forum is that "it sucks". I think it's just an ignorant gut reaction that people have. If he really feels that strongly, what difference does it make?

I could give two shits about 90% of the music that my band listens to, and they usually have little interest in my crap. It doesn't really make a difference once the songwriting starts.

screw osmosis · « **Reply #8 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 13:22 »

True story:

Ed, Colin, Phil, and Jonny from Radiohead HATE "techno" music with a passion (think Modeselektor, Ellen Allien, etc.). Thom Yorke is completely enamoured with the genre. The band constantly yells at Thom when they get together for rehearsal and in their downtime, decides to play said style of electronic music out on humongous studio speakers.

True story #2:

Radiohead are a pretty successful band.

oblivion · « **Reply #9 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 13:36 »

Have you ever noticed that it's not entirely uncommon for musicians to be involved with more than one band or project? It's allowed, legal, and OK. Rock out on the things you have in common all the while subversively working in the stuff he "doesn't like." If you can't ever get him to 'go punk,' find some different mates who do, but there's no reason to drop the first guy if otherwise you get along.

BTW, people's musical tastes change. Sometimes forcibly. I never liked punk, atonal or experimental music until I heard enough of it.

Thrillho · « **Reply #10 on:** 05 Oct 2007, 13:46 »

If he's just going to shoot you down every time you try and take even one song in a heavier direction, you're fucked. The thing that makes my band work well together is the fact that we have these disparate influences but no-one minds each other having them, so songs just come out the way they come out and everyone's okay with it because it's still our music.

rhinohelicopter · « **Reply #11 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 08:55 »

Another true story to add to the mix. My friends and I recently started jamming together and despite our differences (the other guitarist's favorite band is Braid) we compliment each other really well. It's come out sounding like a drony post-rock Unwound with lots of noise. We'll still have to see how it develops but differences shouldn't stop you from playing together. You might even pick up new techniques from his style (and vice versa).

Another way to think about it is Sparta=blah, The Mars Volta=circle jerk, Sparta+The Mars Volta=At the Drive-In. Cedric and Omar wanted the next ATDI albumt (after "Relationship of Command") to sound like "Piper at the Gates of Dawn". The Band broke up and Cedric and Omar did The Mars Volta and everybody else did Sparta. Neither set of musicians was as good without the other and have subsequently released a slew of boring albums.

What I'm saying is give it a chance.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #12 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 10:45 »

The guitarist in my band and myself have some differences between our musical tastes. For instance while he loves bands like Limbonic Art, Emperor, Zyklon, Satyricon and Watain, I like bands like Tegan & Sara, The Waifs, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots and They Might Be Giants (I also love all the bands that he likes). Despite this difference we still manage to play some fucking awesome new wave Black Metal together despite the fact that he thinks a lot of the music I listen to is shit and says so repeatedly while he bangs my head against the table or locks me in the fridge. Basically what I am saying is that if you both want to play the same kind of music then you will get along fine but if he flat out refuses to play a certain style that you are dead-set on playing then it probably won't work out and one of you will suffocate and die in the refridgerator.

Best of luck.

Christophe · « **Reply #13 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 12:57 »

Quote from: rhinohelicopter on 06 Oct 2007, 08:55

Another way to think about it is Sparta=blah, The Mars Volta=circle jerk, Sparta+The Mars Volta=At the Drive-In. Cedric and Omar wanted the next ATDI albumt (after "Relationship of Command") to sound like "Piper at the Gates of Dawn". The Band broke up and Cedric and Omar did The Mars Volta and everybody else did Sparta. Neither set of musicians was as good without the other and have subsequently released a slew of boring albums.

What I'm saying is give it a chance.

That is an amazing point.

I think I'm gonna stick it out with him and see where it goes. Thanks for the advice and stories, guys. Now I need to find a new drummer since he's going off to play with some other band.

jeph · « **Reply #14 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 13:34 »

My drummer in college was heartbroken because I didn't really like Archers of Loaf.

It didn't really matter.

Hat · « **Reply #15 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 14:31 »

All you have to do is get him addicted to heroin so that he's way too scatterbrained to have any real musical influence in anything you ever do.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #16 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 14:37 »

I'd say you could work well together, if he could develop a little more tact that to just say "this song sucks." If a song really bothers him, he could say "would you mind if I skipped this?" and in return you can agree not to get too PUNK RAWK on him during jams.

Thrillho · « **Reply #17 on:** 06 Oct 2007, 16:06 »

Quote from: TheLetterM on 06 Oct 2007, 12:57

Quote from: rhinohelicopter on 06 Oct 2007, 08:55
Another way to think about it is Sparta=blah, The Mars Volta=circle jerk, Sparta+The Mars Volta=At the Drive-In. Cedric and Omar wanted the next ATDI albumt (after "Relationship of Command") to sound like "Piper at the Gates of Dawn". The Band broke up and Cedric and Omar did The Mars Volta and everybody else did Sparta. Neither set of musicians was as good without the other and have subsequently released a slew of boring albums.

What I'm saying is give it a chance.

That is an amazing point.

Or it would be for anyone who has the same opinion.

Oh and FWIW, I've heard that it wasn't just the volta guys wanting to sound like Piper - the other half of the band wanted to sound like WEEZER. I love Weezer, but that's hilarious.

Ernest · « **Reply #18 on:** 11 Oct 2007, 00:52 »

Quote from: jeph on 06 Oct 2007, 13:34

My drummer in college was heartbroken because I didn't really like Archers of Loaf.

It didn't really matter.

I don't really like Archers of Loaf, either

maybe we jam sometime?

Spinless · « **Reply #19 on:** 11 Oct 2007, 14:39 »

You two done it now. I can't be associated with either of you. If you can show me an EP that's better than VS. then I'll make an effort to eat my hat, with photographic evidence.

corwinzor · « **Reply #20 on:** 04 Nov 2007, 21:21 »

Most people I've played music with don't listen to anything that was released before the mid-eighties. That kind of sucks, because it means I can't talk about most of the bands I like with them. I personally wouldn't stop playing music with these people, though, because we are able to create the kind of music we want to create. I guess the most important thing is whether or not you enjoy the type of music you are creating with this person. I don't really understand people who listen to new indie music but can't understand Mission of Burma, but I guess they exist... blah!

Narr · « **Reply #21 on:** 04 Nov 2007, 23:48 »

Quote from: SusurrusIgnoramus on 05 Oct 2007, 10:21

i think you could play off eachother... maybe even playing together will broaden both of your musical horizons...

don't write him off just yet. give it a try.

I hate when I read a thread like this one and have some big exposition that is basically good advice I was planning on typing and then find another post someone leaves that is everything I was going to say in about 2 sentences.

So, in short,

^What he said.

Tom · « **Reply #22 on:** 04 Nov 2007, 23:54 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 05 Oct 2007, 10:07

Honestly it's fine as long as it doesn't interfere with the band. It really is.

And it only interferes if your petty enough. When he says something sucks don't take it to heart just an opinion, if you do ever take it to heart, and this is my message to everyone, grow up.

Johnny C · « **Reply #23 on:** 05 Nov 2007, 00:13 »

Nots true! If he likes the metals and you likes the twee then its mays not'st works!

Tom · « **Reply #24 on:** 05 Nov 2007, 01:09 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 05 Nov 2007, 00:13

Nots true! If he likes the metals and you likes the twee then its mays not'st works!

I sits corrected unless... you start making viking folk metal!!!! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #25 on:** 05 Nov 2007, 04:55 »

Hang on. That would imply that you think this is just what you get when you cross this and this.

Try again?

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Author Topic: Having a bandmate who hates about half the music you listen to (Read 9468 times)

screw osmosis

oblivion

rhinohelicopter

Spinless

corwinzor

Narr