Topic: So, you want to listen to music with breasts? (Read 32139 times)

Storm Rider · « **Reply #50 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:09 »

I was actually going to suggest Bolt Thrower a little while ago when somebody suggested that submissions should have an emphasis on rocking out, as per the original thread.

Joseph · « **Reply #51 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:10 »

The original thread was plagued with problems. Let's try and save this one.

Caspian · « **Reply #52 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:10 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 10 Oct 2007, 22:37

I could maybe agree with you on the count that no one would listen to Nightwish without Tarja (Tuomas cannot sing for shit, though in a way that makes his contributions kind of endearing) though in what universe you consider Tarja's singing to be shit I cannot imagine. Honestly, thats about the only sensible criticism that CAN'T be labelled at Nightwish: their lyrics are half-baked scanglish, their songwriting is pedestrian, their instrumental work generally unremarkable, their album covers, videos etc. are mired in horrendous cliches and their whole formula had been done much, much better by other bands before they ever existed (Lacrimosa and ToT being the examples that instantly spring to mind). Not to mention the clones. Yet to attack Nightwish on the basis that Tarja can't sing seems to me basically insane: as far as I'm concerned her voice is pretty much the only reason you WOULD listen to Nightwish (or if, like me, you have to beat down a boner when a song directly references David Eddings then starts dropping Tolkien samples).

Admittedly, I've only heard two Nightwish albums. Tarja didn't sound all that bad in Oceanborn, admittedly, but she sounded really, really terrible in Century Child. I haven't heard Oceanborn for ages, but from what I remember in Century Child she had basically no range- she's singing in the same key the whole time, has basically no emotion in her voice whatsoever, doesn't really have a good deal of pitch control (perhaps I was being picky but she definitely goes out of tune on the longer notes), and she can't do anything at all but wail all operatically in the same key and same pitches, song after song. She has absolutely no versatility (as the abomination that's Slaying the Dreamer shows). I'll leave it to a random Metal-Archives review to express my feelings:

Quote

And it's not just that she sounds so shrill that when you listen to it, all dogs within a kilometer's radius start to wail and all glasses nearby begin to collapse, it's that she is so damned untalented too. I mean, her voice sounds so static and amelodic, I've heard more complexly arranged melodic vocal performances from Cannibal Corpse. What is this? A soprano trying to imitate Tom Araya? So, it's not just awful, it's bad too. But hey, to give Tarja a little credit, the awful far outweighs the bad. She manages to make her voice so painfully unlistenable that most of the time you don't even quite notice how untalented she is. Good job there, got to give her some credit.

Also: With Arch Enemy, I'd agree with you that it's Amott's band, and Gossow is nowhere near as annoying as Tarja. To me, I just don't think her death metal vocals are all that great/interesting, better then perhaps In Flames' vocalist perhaps but that's about it (but then again, my 10 year old bro can probably do better growls then Anders). Perhaps I'm being sexist, but I bet Amott already knew a couple of growlers prior to finding Gossow (I don't know how they met up, I could be totally wrong about this) so I just get the feeling that he might've heard her and went "Well, she's not terrible, might as well do it to be unique". But having said that, I don't know how Gossow got in the band, so my ignorance may well show me up.

Anyway, one band that needs a mention is THe Gathering. Anneke was a great vocalist and it's a real shame she quit. I might upload Nightime Birds and Mandylion a bit later.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #53 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:13 »

Speaking of Anneke, she was on an Ayreon album, and Ayreon albums in general have pretty fantastic female performances. The Human Equation is the most obvious one, but that's because it's basically totally amazing and I have no idea how Arjen will ever manage to top it.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #54 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:18 »

That's kinda interesting actually Caspian, because the exact how of how Angela got into Arch Enemy is usually used as one of the criteria for dismissing her. She's Amott's girlfriend/partner.

Also, I wouldn't really want Metal Archives to be expressing my opinions on classically trained vocalists. Ever. Anyone complaining about pitching probably shouldn't be listening to metal anyway: I'd like to see anyone get away with making the same kind of criticisms against, say, King Diamond.

Caspian · « **Reply #55 on:** 10 Oct 2007, 23:30 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 10 Oct 2007, 23:18

Also, I wouldn't really want Metal Archives to be expressing my opinions on classically trained vocalists. Ever. Anyone complaining about pitching probably shouldn't be listening to metal anyway: I'd like to see anyone get away with making the same kind of criticisms against, say, King Diamond.

Oh, I'm not saying that I'm using Metal Archives to prove my point, I just like the way that guy expresses his point. Having said that, i'm a big fan of MA myself, I'm in the top 10 reviewers there.

I think the reviews are of a pretty high quality, a bit elitist perhaps but that doesn't really bother me, and the standards are generally quite high (at least, I can't think of anywhere else with better metal reviews on the net).

The difference between Tarja and Diamond is that diamond doesn't rely *totally* on his falsetto, he's a lot more versatile then Tarja, so I guess that counts for something? ..And I never said I liked his vocals anyway

glwtta · « **Reply #56 on:** 11 Oct 2007, 01:00 »

Quote from: tommydski on 09 Oct 2007, 14:35

Someone, somewhere is going to masturbate to that drawing.

I just know it.

Done and done.

Inlander · « **Reply #57 on:** 11 Oct 2007, 01:03 »

Eww. That was neither a challenge nor a suggestion, nor is it something that you should feel obliged to tell anybody else about, ever.

We're going to have to hose down the whole forum now, everyone.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #58 on:** 11 Oct 2007, 15:09 »

Quote from: Caspian on 10 Oct 2007, 23:30

diamond doesn't rely *totally* on his falsetto

...lol.

The extra letter · « **Reply #59 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 08:10 »

I came into this thread to recommend Lydia Lunch's Queen of Siam, but I was beaten to it. While I kinda miss being all smug and recommendy, it's good to see someone else digs her stuff.

öde · « **Reply #60 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 11:40 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 10 Oct 2007, 22:37

especially as that was a bottle of vodka and some port doing the talking.

That is a shit excuse and if anyone ever uses it again I will get very drunk and shit on them.

Standby for every Sleater Kinney album ever (except Dig Me Out, since it's at the start of the thread and The Woods because it is shit except for Jumpers).

Dinky · « **Reply #61 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 12:00 »

Lunachicks
L7
CSS
New Young Pony Club
Janis Joplin
The Distillers
Tori Amos

Just a few from the top of my head

Johnny C · « **Reply #62 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 12:05 »

Quote from: öde on 16 Oct 2007, 11:40

The Woods because it is shit except for Jumpers

That is a bullshit goddamn lie.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #63 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 12:57 »

Quote from: öde on 16 Oct 2007, 11:40

That is a shit excuse and if anyone ever uses it again I will get very drunk and shit on them.

Macho? In the breasts thread?

For shame sir. For shame.

mfpole · « **Reply #64 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 18:15 »

ESG!

EDIT: yaaaaay http://www.mediafire.com/?1q2bttfwh0t

EDIT SQUARED: I uploaded The Woods to the Sendspace Thread a while back. That guy is being weird, this cd is awesome. http://www.mediafire.com/?2zutlfuw0vu

camelpimp · « **Reply #65 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 18:45 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 16 Oct 2007, 12:05

Quote from: öde on 16 Oct 2007, 11:40
The Woods because it is shit except for Jumpers

That is a bullshit goddamn lie.

Seconded. YOU LOSE AT THE INTERNETS.

WriterofAllWrongs · « **Reply #66 on:** 16 Oct 2007, 22:18 »

Eww, someone suggested Tori Amos. I gotta go wash my hands now.

Clobbersaurus · « **Reply #67 on:** 17 Oct 2007, 01:17 »

Joni Mitchell
-Blue

-hissing of summer lawns
-for the roses

The Barry Sisters
-Their Greatest Yiddish hits (you cannot not like this)

Skunk Anansie
- Paranoid and Sunburnt

Mu
-Afro Finger and Gel
-Manchester's Revenge

Roisin Murphy
-Ruby Blue

got this a few weeks ago, and you can't go wrong with roisin and herbert in the same room.

Santogold

Bjork
(everything, duh).

bryanthelion · « **Reply #68 on:** 17 Oct 2007, 03:46 »

Yeah, Bjork probably is one of the best musicians of this generation. She mixes and mingles with so many different styles (well so many out there styles).

Lolz, how about Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohanzorz

camelpimp · « **Reply #69 on:** 18 Oct 2007, 19:25 »

Quote from: that article

It is now very hard for me to thing of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."

I lol'ed. Oh I lol'ed.

It's about damn time my tits did something useful for me!

Clobbersaurus · « **Reply #70 on:** 19 Oct 2007, 01:27 »

Quote from: tommydski on 17 Oct 2007, 11:11

You could argue she is one of the best song-writers but I think as a musician she wouldn't rank in the top million or so.

She works with very good people on every album but I do not think her actual musical talents are particularly amazing. I am not sure if she can actually play any instruments though I am convinced she dabbles. If you look at the credits for her albums, every album uses a host of session musicians. Not a criticism of her, just an important distinction.

she is most definetly a musician (i'll go ahead and mention that she was a drummer, can play a few wind instruments--including the flute, and plays piano) as well as a composer (understands the language of music to the nth degree--and isn't that what makes a musician a musician anyway?).
see seeks out "virtuosos" to play her work and allows them to add whatever they see fit.
it's her work, and its part of her philosophy to collaborate, and not try and control every aspect of her work, but to nurture it. It's a true mother-child relationship to working that is, needless to say, quite feminine. (i believe being more of a control freak is rather male).

i also dont see the distinction between using a piano or your vocal chords as an instrument. her voice has always been her primary instrument.

now i'm just gonna ride another wave.. just cuz

what i deem as feminine is dependent on perspective, not exclusively riot grrl or any one of the dozens of feminist philosophies out there. women are still in the process of defining what is feminine, and perhaps in its lack of having a clear, distinctive definition is probably what makes it 'feminine', since it's rather male to slap categories and rigid guidelines to everything in the name of consistancy (and that's all well and good). i'm personally fascinated by this hunt to find a pure, feminine perspective, and i feel that i have only been able to find it with little doubt in bjork herself and in bjork's work (not claiming that she's the ONLY personification out there of this notion, just happy to note that she's certainly one of the few that predominantly sticks out).

@KharBevNor: there's no excuse for drunken douche-baggery. you must submit to the laws of weaboo.
*paddle*

Quote from: Anyways on 17 Oct 2007, 12:30

When I saw this thread title, I instantly thought of this.

and omg that is the most awesomest thing ever hahahahahaha

Apparently people are getting fed up with double-posts. Remember kids, the edit button is your friend! - Inlander.

öde · « **Reply #71 on:** 19 Oct 2007, 09:42 »

Quote from: öde on 16 Oct 2007, 11:40

Standby for every Sleater Kinney album ever (except Dig Me Out, since it's at the start of the thread and The Woods because it is shit except for Jumpers).

Sendspace thread, go go go!

go make stuff · « **Reply #72 on:** 24 Oct 2007, 06:18 »

Man, I love how this thread started - why is it degenerating so fast?!?
I wanna put some amazing stuff up here by the end of the week.
Dark Flame- do you have Bratmobile's The Real Janelle? Been looking for it everywhere....

Renalia · « **Reply #73 on:** 25 Oct 2007, 06:02 »

Imogen Heap - Speak For Yourself

There's something about this album that I just like. Don't ask me why, I just think it's fun to listen to.

Veruca Salt - Eight Arms to Hold You

These chicks (and a couple dudes) know how to rock it out.

corwinzor · « **Reply #74 on:** 01 Nov 2007, 20:45 »

Rasputina. I think Cabin Fever is their best album.

Clobbersaurus · « **Reply #75 on:** 12 Nov 2007, 13:07 »

i respect rasputina with all my pee pee, but i have never really been able to get into them.
i dont know why. i really thought i'd adore them when a friend recommended them to me...

Wayfaring Stranger · « **Reply #76 on:** 14 Nov 2007, 11:26 »

Stars is definitely a band with mostly fellows in it, but I like Amy Millan's contributions, so they can has honorable mention?

Johnny C · « **Reply #77 on:** 14 Nov 2007, 21:57 »

Torquil from that band is notoriously a douchebag of the highest order.

Wayfaring Stranger · « **Reply #78 on:** 15 Nov 2007, 15:46 »

It's a pity, too. I think their music is pretty good nonetheless.

Clobbersaurus · « **Reply #79 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 02:59 »

Quote from: tommydski on 12 Nov 2007, 13:43

Quote from: Clobbersaurus on 19 Oct 2007, 01:27
Quote from: tommydski on 17 Oct 2007, 11:11
You could argue she is one of the best song-writers but I think as a musician she wouldn't rank in the top million or so.

She works with very good people on every album but I do not think her actual musical talents are particularly amazing. I am not sure if she can actually play any instruments though I am convinced she dabbles. If you look at the credits for her albums, every album uses a host of session musicians. Not a criticism of her, just an important distinction.
she is most definetly a musician (i'll go ahead and mention that she was a drummer, can play a few wind instruments--including the flute, and plays piano) as well as a composer (understands the language of music to the nth degree--and isn't that what makes a musician a musician anyway?).

Right, so what I said is accurate. She still wouldn't be considered "one of the best musicians of this generation". No doubt she plays a few instruments to a reasonable standard but we don't have to kid ourselves into believing she is a virtuoso with every instrument. She's a very good songwriter, arranger and vocalist without piling unnecessary tributes upon her.

are you saying that playing a multitude of instruments at a virtuoso level constitutes as the only attribute of a great musician?
that seems a little too left-brained, if so, and i can't say i'd agree with that completely.

i've always been opposed to the idea that a musician isn't a musician if they don't have, say, an acoustic guitar wrapped around their neck.
If someone makes music, they're a musician. songwriter, arranger, and vocalist all fall under the "musician" umbrella, not beside, above, or set apart from it.

now i imagine someone saying "so do birds and whales make music?" and then there would be this whole mind-fuck over the defining and overlapping features of communication and music and babies would cry.

i think.

Inlander · « **Reply #80 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 04:23 »

Quote from: Clobbersaurus on 12 Nov 2007, 13:07

i respect rasputina with all my pee pee

That doesn't sound like you respect them very much at all . . .

David_Dovey · « **Reply #81 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 04:46 »

Quote from: tommydski on 12 Nov 2007, 13:43

She still wouldn't be considered "one of the best musicians of this generation". No doubt she plays a few instruments to a reasonable standard but we don't have to kid ourselves into believing she is a virtuoso with every instrument.

Since when did you consider musical virtuosity the primary factor in these things?

tommydski · « **Reply #82 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 04:58 »

I'm going to go ahead and say that it's not unfair to expect someone vaunted as the "one of the best musicians of her our generation" to be something of a virtuoso. We have other words we can use for her genuine talents, it's lazy to pour accolades on her that she...wait I've explained this already, just go back and read it again.

JimmyJazz · « **Reply #83 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 10:42 »

I can't believe this record hasn't been mentioned yet.

Johnny C · « **Reply #84 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 11:57 »

Quote from: tommydski on 19 Nov 2007, 04:58

I'm going to go ahead and say that it's not unfair to expect someone vaunted as the "one of the best musicians of her our generation" to be something of a virtuoso. We have other words we can use for her genuine talents, it's lazy to pour accolades on her that she...wait I've explained this already, just go back and read it again.

By this token is it fair to consider Joanna Newsom one of the best musicians of our generation?

carrotosaurus · « **Reply #85 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 20:14 »

Joanna Newsom surely is one of the best drowning cats of our generation.

tommydski · « **Reply #86 on:** 19 Nov 2007, 21:44 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 19 Nov 2007, 11:57

By this token is it fair to consider Joanna Newsom one of the best musicians of our generation?

If one made this argument, it would be still be better than the Bjork one.

The point stands, if you're going to be known as "one of the best musicians of our generation" you'd probably have to play at least one instrument to an excellent standard and a few others to a novice standard. Otherwise, there will be people out there who are better. Why isn't it sufficient to call someone a great songwriter? It is, we just like to pour unnecessary plaudits on people we like to make them seem more important.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #87 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 00:14 »

Tommy thinks you must play an instrument to be a musician!

ROCKIST.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #88 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 00:25 »

Oh god, can we please not talk about how idiotic the whole rockism vs. popism bullshit is?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #89 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 00:26 »

Storm Rider thinks popism is bullshit!

ROCKIST.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #90 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 00:32 »

I got about halfway through typing a response and then I was like goddammit the motherfucker got me right where he wanted me

KharBevNor · « **Reply #91 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 00:57 »

Go listen to your rock, you filthy rockist.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #92 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 01:02 »

Maybe I will, because I live in a parallel universe where people are actually allowed to enjoy music

Dammit I feel like I am overusing the italics-for-emphasis+no punctuation thing. Khar you ruin everything.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #93 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 01:03 »

Storm. I'm going to ask you a serious question here.

Do you think I'm being serious? When I say the word rockist? Me?

Storm Rider · « **Reply #94 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 01:05 »

Of course not. Duh.

FireAarro · « **Reply #95 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 01:13 »

Quote from: camelpimp on 16 Oct 2007, 18:45

Quote from: Johnny C on 16 Oct 2007, 12:05
Quote from: öde on 16 Oct 2007, 11:40
The Woods because it is shit except for Jumpers

That is a bullshit goddamn lie.

Seconded. YOU LOSE AT THE INTERNETS.

Thirded. The Woods = AMAZING tones from every instrument on all tracks. I hardly ever hear music that sounds this huge. The Fox is bonecrushing. The lyrics in Jumpers are kinda shitty anyway.

I second the notion that anyone who plays music is a musician.

tommydski · « **Reply #96 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 03:35 »

However, in order to be "one of the best musicians of our generation" I think in order to make a credible claim you'd probably have to play an instrument.

A kid can draw a hippo in chubby crayons but we don't need to call him one of the best artists of our generation.

Inlander · « **Reply #97 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 03:43 »

I would consider somebody who plays an instrument to be an instrumentalist, and somebody who creates music to be a musician.

I mean, you can type at 100 words a minute, but that won't make you a writer, just a typist.

FireAarro · « **Reply #98 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 03:52 »

I'd call a singer a musician, as well as people creating/programming electronic music on laptops, and some DJs too.

tommydski · « **Reply #99 on:** 20 Nov 2007, 04:02 »

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: So, you want to listen to music with breasts? (Read 32139 times)

camelpimp

camelpimp

go make stuff

corwinzor

tommydski

tommydski

tommydski

tommydski