It's not dulling that I listen to music for, so much as exorcism. More of a cathartic experience than an anaesthetic.
Can you expand more on this? I tend to put on the saddest music I know when I want catharticism. If this sounds like you, check out Tom McRae (self-titled debut).
It's mostly music from my childhood, music that I identify with, music that's miserable as fuck, or some combination of them all.
The music from my childhood consists of the albums we used ot listen to as a family when driving to holiday destinations. This entailed about five or six tapes, most of which I have on CD now - the first Seal album,
Parklife by Blur (one song of which comes under 'identify with.' 'Tracy Jacks,' because of the line 'I'd love to stay here and be normal/but it's just so overrated'),
Made In Heaven by Queen...the other ones I don't have yet. Linkin Park also come under this category because they were the first band I liked of my own accord, and they write good pop songs even if they do actually suck.
The music that identify with is predominantly Weezer because Rivers Cuomo seems autistic as a frontman even if he isn't. The first album in particular I got into when it came out and has been my longest serving favourite record. This also includes music that identifies to specific situations, such as after a breakup you have the obvious stuff like
Blood On The Tracks, 'Idiot Wind' in particular, and the less obvious like 'Far From Me' by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds ('It's good to hear you're doing so well/but really can't you find somebody else/that you can ring and tell?').
As for music that's miserable as fuck...Joy Division.
Closer. Probably the saddest album in my collection, yet the one I found the most uplifting. An album that got me through the grieving after my grandmother's death.