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Schoolyard Stories

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Tom:
they look like this
and you can do this to them

hence the name.

Chrasstor:
I remember this one time in kindergarten, there was this one kid who felt sick, so he went to the bathroom without asking the teacher... The teacher followed him out of the class, and all we could hear in the class from down the hall was "AHHH!! IT BURNS!!!", and other going ons like that.  Being kids, we just laughed about it at the time. Nobody really brought it up after that.

There was this other weird kid in grade school, he was a lanky fellow with dark hair and eyes... He would always fidget, and my asshat friends would always call him "Therapist-Boy"(I'm assuming that was because he was going to a shrink or something). Anyway, he'd always grab other guy's butts, and he'd pee really far away from the urinal with his ass completely bare, making his garbage clearly visible. This one time I caught him peeking over the stall when I was peeing(I didn't like urinals when I was young), I covered up and slammed the door open as fast as I could. He hit his head and started crying... I remember getting in trouble and being talked to about how he wasn't quite normal.

Everyone still remembers that kid, he was pretty messed up. I think his name was Morgan?

Also, one of my friends would always have fake weddings with his 'girlfriend'. It was pretty funny, every other week they'd have flowers and gumball-rings at recess and would be doing some weird ass ceremony with a bunch of kids as spectators. I remember in 2nd grade they were going to have sex(now, I didn't really know what sex was until I was about 11, and I didn't know all the other terms 'till about 13), and his girlfriend brought a blanket and some cream. They were going to do it at the tennis-court which was right next to my school. Now, I never really saw the blanket or cream, and my friend didn't go to the tennis court after school, so this is all hearsay.. But the fact that it was even a rumor amongst 7-8 year olds is fucked up in itself.

Public-schools are fucking messed-up. Builds character I guess.

ZJGent:
I have a lot of these stories but a lot involve nasty things happening to me so I shall relate ones that aren't so nasty.

1. Crosfields Boys' School: A guy called Matt who was definitely definitely into guys, only he didn't know it yet. I mean, when we played pretending to be movie characters and doing stunts, he was the one who chose to be Lara Croft. I'm fairly certain he had a fake tan, too. And one time when we were playing 40-40-in, he grabbed this tall guy called Geary's bum, and Geary threw a hissy fit - I don't remember what happened after that. Oh, and he waited til everyone else had finished showering after sports (we had communal showers) to take his shower.
 
2. Reading Grammar yay! Nastiest school in existence. Anyway there was this really really spiteful jerk kid called Tom (small, skinny and pointy-faced) who got his big butch mates to do horrible things to me (anyone heard of 'The Funky Chicken'?) mostly because I was small and quiet and fat and weird. So one time, rarest occasion, I catch him by the lockers without his big mates, and I hit him so hard in the face, so hard it breaks his braces. I got the worst shit from his big mates afterwards, and detentions for a month from the class teacher, but it was so worth it to hear him squeal, "Don'thhphp hurthphphp me!! I jusththth had theethe correcthphthed!!!"

3. Catholic school woop woop - Sex Education: Taught by the priest. A tall, gangly, grizzly irishman called Father John. Basically he just turned on his slide projector, showed pictures of dongs and vajujus, saying things like "And this is the male penis. Or as I like to call it, the Devil's waaahter pistol. And this is the female FUH JAI NAH. Or as the pope puts it... Satan's bath tub." To a child of 12 or so, this is pretty damn scary.

Spinless:
My primary school memories involve lashings, beatings and having my head stamped on by other kids. Dog poop was involved.
Secondary school was the opposite of an improvement.
But I had the most amazing friends I could have hoped for, even though many of them lied to me and stole from me behind my back. It's okay, I never brought it up, I FORGAVE THEM.
Seriously, I'm like, Jesus.
Still kills me to see people angry or violent towards each other. In school you see kids get messed up, and you know they'll be like that for life. Personally, I think I got out of it okay, but I carry this sort of 'survivors guilt' which bugs the crap out of me.

Jimmy the Squid:
When I was in year 2 (my first year at a new school) there was this yaer 3 girl who kept making fun of me and generally being a bitch so one day when I had finally gotten sick of it I walked upto her in the playground and asked her why she was so mean to me.

Oh yeah, and halfway through her answer I punched her in the throat. I'm hardcore.

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