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[Indifferent Clox]

OK so I was with this girl last night and she told me my problem was normal and that a lot of guys go through this but I don't know so I decided to talking to a bunch of message board complete strangers about my sexual problems would be the best route to take:

anyway I can't get off unless I'm eating a popTart While fucking...


However, once I did it while watching Michael Cera on Arrested Development, but I'm not gay and did not get a boner from him, his innocent demeanor however crosses sexual barriers I'm not really open to discuss.

So what is your 'normal' sexual hang up?

[Chrasstor]

I can only get off when I am trolling. Or if I read someone else's trollposts.

[ForteBass]

YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD

[Gurkburk]

Oh wow why'd you make this thread it is neither funny nor informative, why?

[Something Witty]

I feel you man, I can only get off while drinking from a chalice of unicorn blood held in the teeth of a $10,000 prostitute.

[Indifferent Clox]

When I say 'got with a girl' I really meant discussing it with my cardboard cut out of Jenny Lewis.

and when I say 'not gay' I mean not finding the miriad of buttholes a suitable place to put my 'penis'.

and when I say penis I mean my male sex 'organ'.

and when I say organ I mean musical instrument.

[tania]

awesome, i was actually thinking to myself just a few minutes ago that there really aren't enough guys who talk about their dicks on the internet

[Indifferent Clox]

good thing I was not talking about dicks then.

WHEN WERE PRIVATE EYES EVEN MENTIONED?


Also, I was just thinking there aren't enough people on message boards who like to get all angry about harmless threads.

[ForteBass]

YOU'RE TRYING WAY TOO FUCKING HARD

[Indifferent Clox]

I can only get off when I am trolling. Or if I read someone else's trollposts.

I am glad to assist in your sexual needs.

[Johnny C]

Guys, can we please just collectively stop responding to posts like these?

[Indifferent Clox]

Also Forte, trying would imply that I actually gave a fuck.

If you want to help me be funny let us do this, maybe we will start a hilarious sitcom of some kind such as arrested development, and in future years people will masturbate to one of our awkward characters played by a random young man.

[Indifferent Clox]

I come here bearing my soul about my toaster related sexual hang up and you guys dismiss it as if I am somehow trying to make 'jokes'. How would you, forte, like it if I made fun of your 3 inch penis that has 8 inches of foreskin? Or you Johnny C, how would you like it if I never mentioned the fact that you couldn't grow pubic hair to the left of your scrotum?

I think these things shouldn't go unmentioned which is why I created this thread.

FOR A BETTER AMERICA! A BETTER WORLD!

[Liz]

It makes me sad that a thread like this even exists.

[Indifferent Clox]

I sometimes get angry at people on the internet for posting harmless things to. This makes me feel like more of a man without pastry related issues.

[Liz]

Dude, seriously, stop acting like such a dick. You are the only one here that finds it even the slightest bit funny.

[Johnny C]

Guys, can we please just collectively stop responding to posts like these?

[jeph]

get a blog

[est]