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[MobyDickhole]

So, I write for a paper at my school, and in recognition of Valentines Day, our music section is to consist of a series of playlists entitled "Music to bone to"
Each playlist has a theme such as "music for kids to bone to", "Music your Parents boned to"... and so on.
My playlist is going to be "Songs you thought you could bone to... until you read the lyrics"

Right now my playlist contains:

Napalm Love- Air
Vanishing- Architechure in Helsinki
Funny Little Frog- Belle and Sebastian
Brick- Ben Folds
What Sarah Said- Death Cab for Cutie
Thirteen- Elliot Smith
Dog Problems- The Format
Slow Show- The National
Black- Pearl Jam
Every Breath You Take- The Police
Gimmee Shelter- The Rolling Stones
Your Ex-Lover is Dead- Stars
John Wayne Gacy Jr.- Sufjan Stevens
Comfortably Numb- Pink Floyd

And I might throw in:
Do You Love Her- Rilo Kiley

But I know I can do better. So give me any suggestions you have.
I sort of kept to fairly well known bands since it should make it better for the average reader, but feel free to throw me anything you can think of...

And if you're feeling saucy, add a quik blurb as to why such as: [it's a song about rape]

[michaelicious]

"music for kids to bone to"

why

[Johnny C]

I don't think he meant children, I think he meant it in the sense that, say, Tommy would use it.

I AM NOT IMPLYING TOMMY IS A PEDOPHILE, I AM JUST USING HIS SPEECH AS AN EXAMPLE

[MobyDickhole]

Basically "music for kids to bone to" is a  list of disney love songs/ songs by artists like hannah montana with double meanings...

The guy writing it is pretty darn awesome...

[Johnny C]

I'm not defending you any more, ever again.

[gardenhead_]

why the hell would anyone bone to Vanishing or John Wayne Gacy Jr, regardless of lyrics?

[IronOxide]

I guess I don't get how "Thirteen" is a song so horrible to bone to. It's pretty much about twue luv.

[KharBevNor]

Gorerotted - Zombie Graveyard Rape Bonanza
Cannibal Corpse - Fucked With a Knife
Nattefrost - Preteen Deathfuck
Circle of Dead Children - We Wear the Gimp Mask
Cattle Decapitation - Bukkake Tsunami
Mayhem - Chainsaw Gutsfuck
Anal Cunt - I Became a Rape Counsellor So I Could Tell Women They Asked For It
Impaled Nazarene - Angel Rectums Still Bleed
Marduk - Christ Raping Black Metal
Agoraphobic Nosebleed - North American Corpse Desecration
Cock and Ball Torture - Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command

[Ishotdanieljohnston]

hahahahahahaa i became a rape counsellor so i could tell women they asked for it. Classic.

[onewheelwizzard]

"Courvoisier" from Desert Sessions 7 and 8 is perfect for this thread.  Perfect.

[thebrosef]

Hm. Basically any Eels song or any Belle & Sebastian song would work since they are generally really depressing. I guess "Say Yes" by Elliot Smith would be my personal choice, but if you go by my earlier logic than I suppose any Elliot Smith song could work as well.

(In this post the word 'any' makes exceptions for the songs that I know you all will prove me wrong with from the catalogues of these three artists.)

[Brian Majestic]

Basically the entire Lovage "Music To Make Love to Your Old Lady By" album.

[Uber Ritter]

why the hell would anyone bone to Vanishing or John Wayne Gacy Jr, regardless of lyrics?

For a second there, I thought that said "Why would anyone bone to the Vanishing" and I thought you were a crazy person.  I'd bone to this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-TMBz2e7-I&feature=related.

[Emaline]

Brick- Ben Folds
John Wayne Gacy Jr.- Sufjan Stevens
Do You Love Her- Rilo Kiley

Why would you ever even think you could bone to any of these songs? I mean, if my memory serves me correctly, that Rilo Kiley one is right off the bat a bad bad choice. I mean, her voice/the way she sings in that song, just automatically makes me think of some sad, teary eyed woman. I wouldn't want to bone to that.(Of course, I am not a huge Rilo Kiley fan, so I might have this song mixed up with another)


And fuck. Not even knowing the lyrics, Brick is depressing as hell. Just terrible.


And I don't think you'd even need to hear the lyrics of the Sufan one to think its a bad idea to bone to it. I mean, the title is a pretty dead give away.

[Johnny C]

"Brick" is about abortion.

"Brick" is the worst song to have sex to.

[öde]

I hope MobyDickhole reads your sigquote as part of your post.

[KharBevNor]

I've got to admit, my last post in this thread was a bit flippant.







I would fuck to all those songs.

[ImRonBurgundy?]

Basically "music for kids to bone to" is a  list of disney love songs/ songs by artists like hannah montana with double meanings...

Remember that awful Inspector Gadget movie with Matthew Broderick?  The theme song to that would be a prime candidate.

You can call me when you want me, if you need a friend you got me
I'll be your everything, fulfill your every dream
We can do it automatic, I can freak you with my gadget
I'll be your everything, You'll see I'm everything you want and more

I knew the moment that we met
I had to be inside of you, someone you won't forget
So don't say I'm like the other few
No matter what is going down, you'll find me next to you

Girl, I'll be your superman, I'll do what no one can
You'll find that I'm the everything that you need
Deep down inside of you
No matter what you do
You'll see I'm everything you want and more

[sc13ntific]

Pay Me For Sex - Venetian Snares/Speedranch-Jansky Noise

[thebrosef]

Ok, after further thought about this thread (which admittedly warrants very little) I have to ask: What the fuck kind of paper do you write for? Under no circumstances should a paper have a section entitled "Music to bone to..." unless said paper is The Onion (In which case it is encouraged because I bet it would be a really funny article... you know since The Onion is mostly joking). But beyond that, "Music for kids to bone to" is not a cool idea, and the dude writing it is not really awesome. It just isn't possible for him to be really awesome anymore.

I guess what I mean is that it sounds like you are going to a really good school.

[thepugs]

Basically the entire Lovage "Music To Make Love to Your Old Lady By" album.

The lyrics to that album aren't inappropriate to the act of bone; in fact, they are entirely appropriate.

It did, however, remind me of Jennifer Charles and Elysian Fields, so I'll toss in "Rope of Weeds" by Elysian Fields.

[MobyDickhole]

It's an alternative college paper at Long Beach State University called the Union Weekly

It's a fantastic paper. Completly run by student volenteers...

It's pretty fuckin awesome.

also, incase anyone was wondering
The lists that ended up going in are:

For the wannabe hipster
Music for awkward teens to grope to (was originally music for kids to bone to)
Music your parents boned to
The dirty blues mix

I might post a link to the article at some point if we get it online but our internets are fucked at the moment.

(I also might note that my list ended up changing quite a bit before being left off of the page due to lack of room...)

[Nodaisho]

Ah, that is too bad. I do look forward to seeing a link to the article, if it does get up.

Was Type O Negative - Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity on your list before it got chopped?

[MobyDickhole]

no...

It wasn't already on my ipod. (which was another basic constraint i had)

[Ravenbomb]

"Archie and Veronica" by Lovage. It's about necrophilia apparently. Although if any song could make necrophilia hot, this would be it. You just can't beat lyrics like "Jealous of the flies and worms inside me."

[Ketzer]

I've got to admit, my last post in this thread was a bit flippant.







I would fuck to all those songs.

There are people who wouldn't?


Anorexia Nervosa - Mother Anorexia
Behemoth - Slaves Shall Serve
Torsofuck - Raped By Elephants
Celtic Frost - The Name of My Bride
Celldweller - Frozen
Draconian - She Dies

[öde]

Devotchka - You Love Me

I have so many songs with 'love' in the title and I think they're going to be nice and romantic and then they're all

And you said you loved me
You said you loved me

Now there’s something missing when
You’re kissing me
It’s subtle yet it’s gone
And then I’m suspicious
And then it gets vicious
And then it’s a hole right through the heart

And you said you loved me
I thought you loved me

Now there is an ocean of time
Between your life and mine
You look happy
And you're married I bet
And oh my Lord how you’ve grown
To find me still alone
I am humble
I’m still trying to forget

[leperphiliac]

Too late for the paper, but my vote goes to Biscuit, by Portishead.