Topic: I find your lack of faith disturbing... (Read 8306 times)

Faker · « **on:** 20 Feb 2008, 16:56 »

Quote

Wannabe Jedi Knights are advised to brush up on their lightsaber techniques, dust off their copy of the Jedi Handbook, and get down to Surrey, where two Star Wars aficionados have announced their intention to open a training centre dedicated to promoting the popular alternative religion.

The plan is the brainchild of Daniel Jones, aka Morda Helol, and bruv Barney (Jonba Hehol) who helped start the first UK branch of the "church" in their native Anglesey and have now set their sights on a Home Counties community hall for the centre of the UK's first Jedi academy.

Leading the worship will be 21-year-old Master Ajec, who has not revealed his real name, according to local press reports. Accolytes will be expected to have a copy of the aforementioned code before attending chapter meetings at which they'll either wear Obi-Wan Kenobiesque robes or the black trousers and black t-shirt which make up Jedi civvies.

Morda Helol explained: "We are not extremists, we are not psychotics and we are not a cult. This is a treatment plan to better your life. It is exploiting the best parts of your life. You can follow it completely or at you own pace. We open our doors to anyone."

Training to become a Jedi Master can apparently take up to two years, during which time disciples will have to master the lightsaber, study technology, martial arts and meditation and "learn the importance of neuro-linguistic programming" - something which is reckoned to act as a substitute for Jedi mind-control powers.

According to Mr Helol, he's had offers from Brazil, France, Spain and the US to establish similar chapters. He declared: "This is going worldwide."

Words fail me

öde · « **Reply #1 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 17:00 »

I'm sure you're going to great lengths to bring us the best news, but there are sites on the internet that we can look at or not to find out stuff like this.

Faker · « **Reply #2 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 17:08 »

*returns to his corner promising not to start a new topic for at least a week*

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #3 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 18:45 »

It's not about the time, but rather the content. You just have to get used to what would interest the forum in general, and think very hard about if other people would want to discuss it for any length of time. Making a thread based around a quote from somewhere else is touchy ground, and like öde said, its not like we couldn't find this elsewhere. Better to use articles as links in contexts to an actual discussions.

Edit: And as for the article itself, crazy, man.

Johnny C · « **Reply #4 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 22:24 »

I wonder if they'll qualify for tax breaks?

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #5 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 22:30 »

Why aren't you locking?

Johnny C · « **Reply #6 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 22:39 »

Seriously. The taxman will be all, "Hey, you owe the government this much," and they'll be all, "These aren't the taxes you're looking for," and he'll be all, "Yes, you're right."

I think this thread has died naturally. We can always let it just sink to the bottom of the page. Personally, I have jokes to make.

Inlander · « **Reply #7 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:15 »

Quote from: Boro_Bandito on 20 Feb 2008, 22:30

Why aren't you locking?

Because we only mod people when we want to get the community's hopes up. Then we sit around and watch everyone expectantly waiting for the new mod to make everything better for them, and we laugh pitilessly when those hopes are slowly and inexorably crushed under the unyielding pressure of inevitable disappointment. This is how we mods have fun.

HAHAHAHA! FOOLISH MORTALS.

Joseph · « **Reply #8 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:22 »

Wait when did Johnny become all blue and stuff?

calenlass · « **Reply #9 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:23 »

...Yeah, if you people and your secret Olympus could figure out some way to un-ban Hat, that'd be great.

Inlander · « **Reply #10 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:27 »

Oh wow, that actually happened? I thought that was just Jeph ranting drunkenly . . .

Contrary to popular belief, mods do not actually have the ability to ban and un-ban people. You need to appeal directly to one of the admins.

calenlass · « **Reply #11 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:29 »

Yes, I am aware of this fact. Too bad they haven't been around lately, really!

Verergoca · « **Reply #12 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:47 »

Wait, so Jediism is turning into a Scientology, part II thing now?

*confused*

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #13 on:** 20 Feb 2008, 23:49 »

Only if you have to pay for it.

Doug S. Machina · « **Reply #14 on:** 21 Feb 2008, 02:37 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 20 Feb 2008, 22:39

Seriously. The taxman will be all, "Hey, you owe the government this much," and they'll be all, "These aren't the taxes you're looking for," and he'll be all, "Yes, you're right."

I think this thread has died naturally. We can always let it just sink to the bottom of the page. Personally, I have jokes to make.

"I must leave now. Somewhere, a joke is happening." [dramatic exit]

jhocking · « **Reply #15 on:** 21 Feb 2008, 08:17 »

Quote from: öde on 20 Feb 2008, 17:00

I'm sure you're going to great lengths to bring us the best news, but there are sites on the internet that we can look at or not to find out stuff like this.

man I do not know what you are talking about, I get all my news from this forum.

Seriously though, faker's news is both nerdy and amusing. How is this any different from any other news article that people post around here?

Instead of criticizing faker, a much better response would be to post this picture:

ADDITION:

Quote from: Boro_Bandito on 20 Feb 2008, 18:45

It's not about the time, but rather the content. You just have to get used to what would interest the forum in general, and think very hard about if other people would want to discuss it for any length of time.

I'm not sure how a topic could be any more guaranteed to interest this forum than nerds who are a little too invested in Star Wars. Like me, Joe Hocking.

öde · « **Reply #16 on:** 21 Feb 2008, 08:33 »

It was kind of a crap post! I just think it would be bad to fill the forum up with these threads.

jhocking · « **Reply #17 on:** 21 Feb 2008, 08:36 »

Quote from: jhocking on 21 Feb 2008, 08:17

Like me, Joe Hocking.

johnny is already abusing his power! WE MUST REBEL AGAINST OUR CORRUPT OVERLORDS

...

Actually wait, we already did that the other day, let's not clog the forum with that crap again.

SeanBateman · « **Reply #18 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 08:18 »

I actually don't really have a problem with news story threads, since god knows I would never find them on my own, or I guess care enough to find them on my own. This one in particular has so many jokes available that it shouldn't be shat upon so soon.

For me, it's just another sign that the world predicted in Futurama is coming closer to our own reality, and that is something I am totally okay with.

BootsyMarie · « **Reply #19 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 11:26 »

If this were to overpower the influence of Christianity, would Atheists, and Agnostics still be scoffed at?

Or just burned with a lightsaber?

Speaking of which...I was watching this thing on the history channel about lightsabers...Because the plasma would have to be incredibly concentrated in that tube shape, it would be easier to mail the lightsaber to your enemy...Because you would be incinerated if you turned it on.

Emaline · « **Reply #20 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 11:35 »

http://www.therpf.com/showthread.php?t=39500

Hat · « **Reply #21 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 11:39 »

Quote from: öde on 21 Feb 2008, 08:33

It was kind of a crap post! I just think it would be bad to fill the forum up with these threads.

If you are saying that you don't want to talk about the potential of Jedi to become a real religion and not just a bunch of people putting silly answers on yearly censuses, you don't have to! In fact, you could just get off the internet altogether?

I mean, I'm just saying.

Also how are they going to train with a weapon that doesn't exist?

That is mostly what I am thinking.

BootsyMarie · « **Reply #22 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 11:46 »

Quote from: Emaline on 22 Feb 2008, 11:35

http://www.therpf.com/showthread.php?t=39500

That is the sweetest thing in the whole world.

I pretty much laughed until I cried.

muteKi · « **Reply #23 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 13:31 »

Makes a great conversation piece

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #24 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 13:43 »

"Wow, i like your coffee table. Where did you get it?"

"Oh, this guy refused to pay me the money he owed me so i had him frozen in carbonite."

"Neat. Pass the sugar, please."

Johnny C · « **Reply #25 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 18:47 »

Quote from: Hat on 22 Feb 2008, 11:39

Also how are they going to train with a weapon that doesn't exist?

Ahem. A-hem.

Jposh · « **Reply #26 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 19:30 »

0bsessions · « **Reply #27 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 20:05 »

*Ahem*

Johnny C · « **Reply #28 on:** 22 Feb 2008, 20:10 »

You're doing it wrong.

öde · « **Reply #29 on:** 23 Feb 2008, 02:22 »

*Hack, wheeze*

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: I find your lack of faith disturbing... (Read 8306 times)

SeanBateman

BootsyMarie

BootsyMarie

muteKi