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Get off my lawn!
0bsessions:
--- Quote from: A Wet Helmet on 10 Mar 2008, 07:11 ---Seriously Obsessions?
I'll concede that I may not have communicated as clearly as possible but accusations of back pedaling? I haven't back pedaled anywhere. I addressed specifically the issue of children getting a 'vote' and I did that by excerpting the part that Barmymoo's post that I disagreed with. That is: The implied belief that a household should be a democracy with majority rule on every issue.
Other than to say I didn't think watching television during dinner is appropriate, I avoided any discussion of the behavior of the "father figure" (for lack of a better term) at all in my original post. I went on in subsequent posts to elaborate.
How are you confused by this? Where is the back pedaling? There isn't any.
--- End quote ---
Seriously, man. Reread your post. It came off as condescending to the girl you responded to and you seem to be the one misunderstanding people. She clearly didn't say anything regarding "every major issue." She said it was ridiculous for her mother's partner to watch TV at the table when two other people told him he shouldn't. You responded by saying she was wrong and that it's not a democracy and the child shouldn't get a vote, when her suggestion was entirely reasonable and something that SHOULD be questioned. I mean, if you agree that he was wrong, why even call her wrong? Were you just being contradictory for the sake of it or were you backpedaling? Which is it. If you meant something completely different, then you said it completely wrong to a point where you simply came off as an overbearing "I'm older and thus smarter" type.
Accounting first for the fact that, while yes a seventeen year old is not an adult, they are also by no means a child. I think you'd agree with me that you wouldn't be where you are now if you didn't start exploring your freedoms and boundaries when you were her age.
Your other post on the issue of "growing up" just reads as a condescending and dismissive "you'll agree with me when you're older, until then..." Seriously, you might as well have just quoted the entire thread and said "tl;dr." You might notice if you drop the seemingly defensive nature and stick around for a while, but overall this is a rather mature board. We have some severe tits, but there's a large group of frequent forumites who you would never know the age of by the way they word themselves and their overall attitude toward life. We are not a group of whony, emo "no one understands me" types as you seem to be implying we may be. I myself was a bit of a bitch of a teenager and have accepted as much, but I probably never would've grown out of that if my dad had ever once pulled the "it's my house and you will follow my rules" bullshit. Just as much as it would be presumptuous of me in my youth to assume that I know better than anyone else older than me, it would be presumptuous of you (And damn ignorant, no less), to assume that you know any better than the rest of us just because you're older. Age hasn't got shit on experience. And even then, half the time experience doesn't have shit on a brand new perspective. Take a time out and a step back and reevaluate what the Hell it is you're arguing and then let's all just try to be excellent.
jhocking:
--- Quote from: A Wet Helmet on 10 Mar 2008, 06:56 ---So here's what's going to happen when you get older:
sweeping generalizations
--- End quote ---
Without getting into too many personal details, I am well past highschool, and looking back I still see a lot of the unreasonable things my mom did as being unreasonable, as well as seeing a lot of unreasonableness in how she deals with my sisters. Indeed, although I am 28 and teach college classes, my mom continues to scream and yell in her attempts to exert total control over everything in my life.
That said, I do agree with you overall. In my own case, I certainly perceive now how my own behavior was immature in many situations (sort of we-were-both-wrong rather than just she-was-wrong,) and that for all her faults my mom was doing her damndest to do right by me. However, your patronizing post (incidentally, this more than any of your specific points is why people are reacting negatively to you; you're so damn patronizing) implies that your exact situation will apply in exactly the same way to everyone, and that's a pretty silly attitude to have.
--- Quote from: A Wet Helmet on 10 Mar 2008, 07:11 ---I'll concede that I may not have communicated as clearly as possible but accusations of back pedaling? I haven't back pedaled anywhere. I addressed specifically the issue of children getting a 'vote' and I did that by excerpting the part that Barmymoo's post that I disagreed with. That is: The implied belief that a household should be a democracy with majority rule on every issue.
--- End quote ---
Actually, the line you quoted was specifically about the TV watching, not just general household democracy. Certainly the line you quoted implied nothing as far as destructive behavior, what you are going on about. To soften your "hell no" about TV control to a more generalized point about parent-child dynamics is back-pedaling.
As for jon (obessions for those who don't know real names,) stop being an argumentative dick. So the guy back pedals a little bit, big fucking deal. If you're going to keep harassing people for the first thing they say, never letting them clarify their words or change their mind then, well as I said, you're being an argumentative dick.
0bsessions:
He neither clarified nor "changed his mind." He's claiming that he never said anything to indicate that he isn't agreeing with the dad. I'm trying to come to an understanding on how that is. Yes, I am admittedly being argumentative, but I have my reasons. One of my biggest pet peeves, for the past ten plus years, has always been people who are condescending toward others based on age. If you don't find it justified, that's your opinion, but I'm hard pressed to feel I'm being unreasonable.
jhocking:
christ, you are both so hard-headed. He states that he didn't back-pedal when he so clearly did, and you state he wasn't changing his mind, when he so clearly was. First he says the child shouldn't get a vote on the TV, then he later says that actually the parent was being unreasonable about the TV thing. Perhaps I'm missing something here, but how is that not changing your mind?
Coming from a different angle, what exactly do you want here jon? For wet helmet to be like "omg you're right, I'm an idiot and you're a genius"?
A Wet Helmet:
I'm sorry you feel that I've been condescending when that wasn't my intent. In my experience, people who look for reasons to be offended can always find one. It looks like you've found your reason.
Jhocking: You're absolutely right that I made sweeping generalizations in that particular post. I'm not sure how you can characterize a collective "you" without doing so. I also understand there are exceptions. The quoted line was about the t.v., true, because that's what I had to work with. The intent of my post was to speak to the concept of a household being a democracy. I don't believe that it can be, and be functional.
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