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DEAR JOHNNY C

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Patrick:
Dear John,

I'm afraid we have to terminate our romantic relationship. It's not you, it's me.

Regards,
Your lover of 20 years

Inlander:
Dear Patrick,

Please find enclosed form R5-m1 [severance of long-term romantic relationship]. Kindly complete the form and return to this address within five (5) working days. Our client [insert client name here] Johnny C appreciates your prompt action in this matter.

Regards,

Harry.

öde:
Dear Johnny C,

What are you wearing? Please compile a list, including value, and post it in the relevant thread.

Thaaaaaanks.

karl gambolputty...:
Dear Johnny C,

What is your response to recent allegations that you are clients 1 through 8 of Emperor's VIP Club

Love,

Karl

Patrick:
Dear Karl,

Why do you think I broke up with the guy, we ran into each other at my work.

Regards,
Patrick

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