Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

who's in the wrong?

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Theron:
Dora is wrong for, as paladin_revenant said, assuming that Faye was trying to hurt Marten.  She's also wrong for invalidating Marten's feelings on the matter.  Marten's not upset, and she's telling him he's wrong for that.  Then she's wrong for mocking Marten, though she has some provocation to work with there, since Marten was sarcastic about her feelings.

Marten is wrong for responding sarcastically to Dora's reaction, and for invalidating her feelings.  He has some provocation from the start, since Dora's being irrationally nasty towards a friend of theirs.

Steve's thing bugs me.  We've descended into the trope where men are always wrong in relationship conflicts.  Marten comes down from his anger, not into a space where he can consider things calmly, but a panic state where he realizes he forgot about
the rules
.

Specifically:
#5: The female is never wrong.
#6: If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
#7: The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
#11: The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

Not that I believe that women actually always behave this way in reality, or would seriously advocate these positions, but they represent stereotypical behaviors that are often used for comedic effect in pop-fiction.  I'm a little disappointed in Marten's lack of spine.  He's gone into abject apology "are... are you still mad at me?" mode about a situation not of his making, where the ultimate resolution has to come from Dora getting over her issue with Faye, not Marten making things right by prostrating himself.

Scruffy:

--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 23 Mar 2008, 22:25 ---If you approach fights in a relationship in terms of who is right, the relationship will never work as well as you'd want.

--- End quote ---

This

/The only winner is the person who apologizes first.  Guilty, non-guilty, doesn't matter in a relationship fight.  As soon as one apologizes the other one does too and everyone forgets about it.

CycloneChibi:
This isn't the first time Marten has tried and failed at Self-righteous Asshole Fu.  I'm a woman, and I believe that Marten had every right in the world to react the way he did. 

Dora has already subjected Marten to several aspects of her character flaws (flipping out about his haircut, getting pissed about his completely-understandable feelings for his ex-girlfriend), and this one is the worst.  She used anger and distrust instead of trying to open up and understand Faye's feelings. 

Dora has been quick to bring other's flaws to attention (Marten's lack of confidence and ambition, Faye's alcohol problem, Sven's womanizing, etc), but no one has ever given Dora the straight dope about her own insecurities and attitude.  This would be a prime opportunity for someone (like Marten) to tell her that her jealously and insecurity in relationships is going to drive them apart.

Up until this story arc, Faye had always been the one "with issues" who often belittled others' feelings and avoided her problems with herself.  Dora was the more calm, rational one how never took anything too seriously.  Now, the tables have turned and Faye is being the adult.  She's gone to therapy, faced her fears, and owned up to her night with Sven even though she knew it would be trouble.

I think Faye and Marten need to talk before Dora and Marten do.  I used to be a fan of Dora/Marten, but now I'm rooting for Faye/Marten.

Uber Ritter:
Man, rooting for Faye/Marten because Dora's insecure is like rooting for the Yankees because you think the Redsocks win too much.
I'd say both/neither.  Marten didn't really respond very productively, though what he said was quite right.  Dora was being irrational.  Whatever.

CycloneChibi:
You're right.  I just think Marten is letting Dora walk all over him.  I mean...sibling rivalry?  Most people get over that stuff in high school.  And feeling inferior compared to your brother is a crappy excuse for attacking your best friend and your boyfriend.  Just saying.

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