Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

who's in the wrong?

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paladin_revenant:
In my opinion Dora is definitely wrong for automatically assuming that Faye was intending to be hurtful.  Faye has been an ornery bitch in the past, but she's never (at least in the context of the comic) been outright spiteful.  Dora is still feeling bad about hooking up with Marten so fast and is still thinking that Faye is angry about it.  Seen from the point of view that Faye is angry or upset about Marten and Dora getting together, there is a small amount of logic in concluding that Faye's actions were intended to sting... Dora is simply wrong about this.

Marten is wrong for, as Steve put it "belittlin' her anger".  Dora still feels bad about hurting Faye by hooking up with Marten so fast, and she's trying to invent a situation where Faye is punishing her for that because Dora feels that she deserves it.  By telling Dora that she is being irrational, Marten is destroying the fantasy that Dora has invented to punish herself.  This puts Dora back in the position of feeling guilty about what she did to Faye and not being able to resolve it.  So Marten is being insensitive and treating his girlfriend kinda poorly, but it still comes around to Dora's insecurities.  Life isn't about what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens to you.

I'm reminded of a book I read in which a man believes that he has sinned, so he confesses to a priest.  The priest hears the man's confession and the circumstances surrounding the event.  The priest determines that the man has not sinned, but knows that the man would never feel justified if the priest told him that he had not sinned or that he was forgiven.  Realizing this, the priest assigns the man penance, not because he deserves it, but because it is the only way in which the man will ever feel better about what he has done.

This is relevant because Dora feels she has trespassed against Faye.  Faye has forgiven her, but Dora is still seeking punishment.

And that is my long-winded opinion.

Border Reiver:
Neither is wrong, nor is are either of them right. 

kasuturo:
Of course, none of them is right because none of them knows Faye's final truth (didn't they see that coming provided she's been drunk and kinda hot a looot of times?). Yeah, we know it and we know that it'd be Dora's fault for not being confident of her relationship with Marten for a long time (because, if you remember, since they started going out she's all been "is this right for Faye and Marten? will she take him away from me?" with herself, and this is not the first time she has a discussion with Marten about it).

I think Marten's attitude was right, anyway. He's held a lot of jealous crap from Dora up to now. So, it'd be like "Marten is 30% wrong and Dora is 70% wrong" for me, at least.

AngelofShadows:
A both option would be my choice.

Dora is wrong for being angry and paranoid over nothing

Martin is wrong for deciding to get drunk instead of waiting and going to talk things out. As far as belittling her anger, well, I think that's a load of bullshit. If Martin went along with it, then he would be in a double world of shit later. Dora will realize she's being insane, and if Martin agrees, or acts like he's agreeing, then not only is he going to get it from Dora for letting her think she's right when she wasn't (which is crazy, but as far as I can tell some sort of girl rule, as in, they can change the rules whenever the fuck they want) and Faye, or everyone, for being so pussy-whipped. He was right to stand up to her, cause it will, hopefully, make her realize the folly of her actions sooner. But getting drunk and bitching about it is bad, as what hanners said.

Clobbersaurus:
wow, talk about people invalidating Dora's insecurities. iirc, marten is quite an insecure chap himself, but that's totally ok?
neither of them had taken the time to sort this thing out, and a balls out fight just might be what's needed.

--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 23 Mar 2008, 22:25 ---If you approach fights in a relationship in terms of who is right, the relationship will never work as well as you'd want.

--- End quote ---

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