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Author Topic: Stop Uwe Boll  (Read 58616 times)

Aceandcups

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Stop Uwe Boll
« on: 06 Apr 2008, 23:40 »

Uwe Boll has said that he will stop making movies if one million people petition him with fake signatures. Let me remind you that he was behind Blood Rayne and a lot of other bad movies that mock video games.


http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

So, spread the word.
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Narr

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #1 on: 07 Apr 2008, 08:03 »

Signed.

Only 950,000 more signatures to go!
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Alex C

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #2 on: 07 Apr 2008, 08:51 »

I only did it for the lulz.

Uwe Boll remains an inspiration to me. Through his seminal works I can rest assured that no matter how hackneyed my prose may be, there remains a slim chance that I could become a script writer someday.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #3 on: 07 Apr 2008, 09:25 »

Uwe Boll makes god-awful movies but I'm sure he really enjoys what he does. Afterall, making unbearable crap must be nice. There's no pressure and he gets to work with really crummy special effects. I don't really care if the guy makes movies or not since I won't be seeing anything of his in the future. He's terrible but I wouldn't want him to stop making movies. Besides, his career is proof that anyone can make it in the movie biz.
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pilsner

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #4 on: 07 Apr 2008, 10:06 »

I was ready to post something snarky about this being internet bullshit but apparently Boll has said something to this effect, at least according to The Guardian.  If Boll does retire, though, it's going to be less because of the petition and more because of the change in German tax law that allowed him to make money from films which resulted in massive losses.  No word on whether the German legislator responsible for the change in law was a Dungeon Siege fan, but I think it would be safe to assume, yes.
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tomselleck69

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #5 on: 07 Apr 2008, 10:16 »

Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.
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Narr

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #6 on: 07 Apr 2008, 10:40 »

Harmless?

The movies always result in a net loss.  Has a single one of his films made positive figures in the box office?

Basically, someone is losing money somewhere and it's not him and it's probably not the actors in his movies.  Think of all the homeless people that are created because of his god-awful movies.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #7 on: 07 Apr 2008, 11:14 »

I have it on good authority that Uwe Boll signed a seal with the devil whereby every one of his movies will be released, but in return he has to rape a puppy and murder 100 baby penguins.  It's true!
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carrotosaurus

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #8 on: 07 Apr 2008, 11:56 »

The movies always result in a net loss.  Has a single one of his films made positive figures in the box office?

There's a reason for that.

according to wiki:
Quote
Boll is able to acquire funding thanks to German tax laws that reward investments in film. The law allows investors in German-owned films to write off 100% of their investment as a tax deduction; it also allows them to invest borrowed money and write off any fees associated with the loan. The investor is then only required to pay taxes on the profits made by the movie; if the movie loses money, the investor gets a tax writeoff.
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TheFuriousWombat

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #9 on: 07 Apr 2008, 12:40 »

I retract my previous statement in that case. If people are being forced to contribute their hard earned money to his "endeavors," than Boll is far worse than I thought.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #10 on: 07 Apr 2008, 12:45 »

No, they're not being forced to; they're doing it entirely voluntarily, knowing that the result will lose money, because the German government implemented the world's worst plan to bolster the the German film industry.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #11 on: 07 Apr 2008, 12:54 »

Is it just me, or is this the exact same plot as The Producers?
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pilsner

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #12 on: 07 Apr 2008, 13:07 »

It's a little more sophisticated since here they're getting a tax rebate whereas in the Producers, Max Bialystock just didn't have to return the capital from the old ladies he

AAAH IMAGES OF UWE BOLL SEDUCING OLD LADIES BURN IT WITH FIRE
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Ikrik

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #13 on: 07 Apr 2008, 16:04 »

Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.

You can start one, but I don't see why you would want to.  You call it dumb rage from a million nerds, but that's not entirely true.  NO ONE likes his movies, they get panned universally BY EVERY CRITIC.  Tell me one critic (who can be trusted) who has given ANY of his movies a good review.  It's just that the nerds are the ones the most outraged by this because they've played the video games that he's butchering.  It makes sense.  If people were making a movie where Madonna was played by a giraffe with buck teeth the only people complaining would be Madonna fans, because they're Madonna fans.  The rest of the people know the movies are terrible but don't really care about Madonna. If you're just seeing the rage of the nerds against him, you need to open your eyes a little wider.
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tomselleck69

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #14 on: 07 Apr 2008, 16:52 »

The issue isn't close enough to my heart to actually create a counter-petition, although the massive backlash something like that guarantees might be fun to see.

I didn't mean to suggest that the man's films aren't lousy by all standards, or to actively defend him as a decent filmmaker or anything. Now that I think about it, the fact that he actually went and suggested it himself pretty much invalidates my point. I guess it just jumped out at me as one of those instances where you imagine what people might accomplished by redirecting the energy they spend complaining towards something more constructive.

Also, I didn't know about the exploitation of the tax loophole. If more of the signers are concerned about that than him characterizing Blood Rayne's tits incorrectly, then: damn, sorry I underestimated them.
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Siert

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #15 on: 07 Apr 2008, 17:10 »

I remember reading in the "Metro newspaper" about Uwe boll, it stated that because of his net loss on his movies, he was having to lower budget sizes thus he would have to hire lesser known actors and use cheaper special effects. So his movies will just get cheaper and cheaper until he files bankruptcy.

We just need to wait for a couple more movies and were sorted!

Although, statistically he might hit a blockbuster
Wait.. lets not even think about that.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #16 on: 07 Apr 2008, 19:14 »

I remember reading in the "Metro newspaper" about Uwe boll, it stated that because of his net loss on his movies, he was having to lower budget sizes thus he would have to hire lesser known actors and use cheaper special effects. So his movies will just get cheaper and cheaper until he files bankruptcy.

We just need to wait for a couple more movies and were sorted!

Although, statistically he might hit a blockbuster
Wait.. lets not even think about that.
The issue with that theory, though, is that his latest film had a lot of big name actors in it.  Ray Liotta?  Jason Statham?  Burt fucking Reynolds?

I can't think of anyone in any of his other movies that is leading person material off the top of my head.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #17 on: 07 Apr 2008, 22:58 »

Ben Kingsley?

Anyway, this is as ridiculous as those anti-scientology protests. If you're going to internet petition a bad filmmaker out of the business, make it Paul WS Anderson, who makes the same sorts of films as Boll but minus the trainwreck appeal, just flat-out awful films.

Or better yet, get Brian De Palma the fuck out of Hollywood.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #18 on: 07 Apr 2008, 23:21 »

I totally didn't realize he was in BloodRayne because I never saw the piece of shit.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #19 on: 08 Apr 2008, 00:57 »

I love Uwe Boll movies, not the movies themselves but the rage of the fans. Truly there is hardly any group more odious than franchise fans.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #20 on: 08 Apr 2008, 18:51 »

Uwe Boll: he's a real DOCTOR!

Ikrik

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #21 on: 08 Apr 2008, 19:31 »


If you're going to internet petition a bad filmmaker out of the business, make it Paul WS Anderson, who makes the same sorts of films as Boll but minus the trainwreck appeal, just flat-out awful films.


Hey.....when I was 12 I liked Soldier.....but now it's kind of campy.  But yeah...wow...the dude made AVP?  That man should be shot, shot and destroyed.  He's also responsible for the heinous Resident Evil films? Wow.....uh.....wow.  AND DOA, tell me, how do you take something as great as DOA and make a shitty, shitty film off of it.  Worst casting choice ever...it has that girl from My Name Is Earl in it...playing one of the leads....eugh.  Well, thanks for showing me who's making these terrible films, I'll take my anger that used to be directed at Uwe Boll at him now.
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borderlineangelic

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #22 on: 09 Apr 2008, 03:03 »

Uwe's response to the petition:

“Look, I’m not a F**king retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business… or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look in my movies you will see my real genius,” Boll said in a video statement. “You have to really wake up and see me what I am, the only genius in the whole f**king business.”

He also urged his 'true fans' to start a 'pro-Boll' petition in anger.

Fool.  Signed.  For the lulz.
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MrSteevo

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #23 on: 09 Apr 2008, 06:58 »

Why cant we just break his legs like a regular angry mob?
The internet never pulls through in the end.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #24 on: 09 Apr 2008, 07:45 »

“You have to really wake up and see me what I am, the only genius in the whole f**king business.”

Talk about an ego-trip there. I wonder if he just nailed his own coffin lid shut there.

I mean wasn't it known this man challenged any critic of his work to a boxing match!? And as a runner up prize, you got to be an extra in the film?
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #25 on: 09 Apr 2008, 08:50 »

Guys there is no way you can even compare WS Anderson to Uwe Boll. For a start Anderson made Event Horizon, which was not that bad whereas Uwe Boll made all his films. Anderson is probably one of my favourite directors, at least with his films I am always guaranteed that I will laugh and clap my hands.
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Siert

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #26 on: 09 Apr 2008, 08:54 »

For a start Anderson made Event Horizon,

Best scene in that movie in my own opinion, when they walk through the ship. Lightning occurs and on the walls you see all the crew remains. This is a lovley introduction to the movie!

But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.
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PacoSees

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #27 on: 09 Apr 2008, 10:43 »

I don't blame Ben Kingsley for a lot of things, but this reminds me of Bob Hoskins doing "Super Mario Bros."

Maybe Ben and Bob were just bored, and who are we to stop well-versed actors like them from signing up for these horrible movies.

The trailers for Dungeon Siege were pretty entertaining, though.
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Narr

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #28 on: 09 Apr 2008, 10:44 »

I just don't get how you can defend Uwe Boll.  I don't even really care about all the franchieses in the movies he's made.  It's just that they are terrible movies.

The only reason this man is even able to make films is because of this weird loophole in German tax law, anyway.  He shouldn't be making movies.  Plain and simple.
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tomselleck69

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #29 on: 09 Apr 2008, 11:11 »

http://www.petitiononline.com/bollsave/petition.html

Alright, I found the Save Uwe Boll petition. 28 signatures and counting. Make the right choice, guys.


edit:
here is a different one with about 1,000 more signatures.

Also, thanks to this, "I like Uwe Boll as a person" just passed "messing with those who hate his movies" as the primary motivation for my support.
« Last Edit: 09 Apr 2008, 17:57 by tomselleck69 »
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Siert

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #30 on: 09 Apr 2008, 11:19 »

I found the Save Uwe Boll petition. 28 signatures and counting.

I'd say personally about 50% of these votes are just to mess with the people voting against it. Like the above posts.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #31 on: 10 Apr 2008, 12:45 »

AND DOA, tell me, how do you take something as great as DOA and make a shitty, shitty film off of it. 

I'm not so sure what surprises me more: that there was a DOA movie or that someone is surprised that it sucked. I had honestly never heard of it, although as far as I could tell the franchise had always just substituted fanservice for depth anyway.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #32 on: 10 Apr 2008, 23:37 »

I'm pretty sure I'd rather see Mel Gibson stop making movies before Uwe Boll.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #33 on: 11 Apr 2008, 00:56 »

I was hoping that Passion had killed his career.  No such luck.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #34 on: 11 Apr 2008, 01:05 »

But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.

I watched the Resident Evil movies, all in one sitting... I have a friend that loves them (also, true story, his favorite movie of the last few years is 10,000 B.C.). He and I don't exactly have the same taste, needless to say. He's a well-enough meaning guy, but yeesh. I think if Uwe Boll stopped making movies, he would probably never see another movie.

I personally don't particularly care for his movies, but since I don't care I wouldn't bother to sign a petition. I'd just spend that time telling you guys what I won't be doing.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #35 on: 11 Apr 2008, 03:53 »

Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.

There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #36 on: 11 Apr 2008, 09:21 »

dunno if this has been posted here before:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/behind-scenes-uwe.php?page=2

one of the writers on Alone in the Dark documenting the writing process with Boll's input. Hilarious.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #37 on: 11 Apr 2008, 09:44 »

There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.

Are you suggesting that it's possible to be TOO correct? Because if so, yes, I just might be guilty.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #38 on: 11 Apr 2008, 10:57 »

I'd also like to remind you kids that Raging Boll was one of the finest events for our generation
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Ikrik

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #39 on: 11 Apr 2008, 18:56 »

Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.

There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.

Actually, I think I've changed my mind on this whole Uwe Boll thing.  I want him to keep making movies.  His movies are truly harmless, the video games he bases them off aren't amazing games in the first place.  Who actually played Bloodrayne? How many people actually played Alone in the Dark?  The man makes bad films out of bad videogames.  But he's hilarious, I like the guy, he says exactly what he wants to say and doesn't take crap from anyone.  I'm not going to see his films, but I think I'd rather sign the Save Uwe Boll petition.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #40 on: 11 Apr 2008, 19:57 »

Are you suggesting that it's possible to be TOO correct? Because if so, yes, I just might be guilty.

Actually, I'd much rather see nerd rage get things done than stew in between graphics cards, D&D books and Iron Maiden albums.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #41 on: 11 Apr 2008, 20:25 »

But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.

I watched the Resident Evil movies, all in one sitting... I have a friend that loves them (also, true story, his favorite movie of the last few years is 10,000 B.C.). He and I don't exactly have the same taste, needless to say. He's a well-enough meaning guy, but yeesh. I think if Uwe Boll stopped making movies, he would probably never see another movie.

I personally don't particularly care for his movies, but since I don't care I wouldn't bother to sign a petition. I'd just spend that time telling you guys what I won't be doing.

Uh dude, the Resident Evil films were not directed by Uwe Boll. Indeed the man had nothing to do with them! They were all written by Paul WS Anderson but only the first film was directed by him. Apocalypse and Extinction were directed by Alexander Witt and Russel Mulcahy respectively. I'm not saying these were great films, far from it, but they were not in any way connected to Boll and it showed because they were watchable.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #42 on: 11 Apr 2008, 22:18 »

How many people actually played Alone in the Dark?  The man makes bad films out of bad videogames. 

Me, for one. Alone in the Dark is the template for all survival horror games and is actually a pretty fuckin' good masterpiece of early PC gaming, one of the few games that pull off a foreboding Lovecraftian story well. Not that I actually care in regards to Boll's movie, but I will take offense at the notion that AitD 1 or 2 are bad. (The rest I don't care about.)
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #43 on: 12 Apr 2008, 00:27 »

Uh dude, the Resident Evil films were not directed by Uwe Boll. Indeed the man had nothing to do with them! They were all written by Paul WS Anderson but only the first film was directed by him. Apocalypse and Extinction were directed by Alexander Witt and Russel Mulcahy respectively. I'm not saying these were great films, far from it, but they were not in any way connected to Boll and it showed because they were watchable.

Aw, dang. Why oh why didn't I imdb before I posted?

...sorry. Forgiveness please?
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #44 on: 12 Apr 2008, 21:46 »

I think I might just be in the minority of people who really and honestly enjoy the films of Paul WS Anderson. Honestly he is one of my favourite directors.
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #45 on: 13 Apr 2008, 09:21 »

On the topic of that Raging Boll event, it was hilarious only the casual observer, and anybody who read first hand accounts of the people involved would realise that really, it was just about Uwe Boll wanting to beat the shit out of some of his critics. Say what you will, I think that's an asshole thing to do, since his critics are actually right to dismiss his movies and his methods.

The idea that this petition is about the "dumb rage of a million angry nerds" is ridiculous. Are you implying that the vast majority of people into movies are nerds? I can understand the assumption that people who play videogames are nerds, but there's a thousands of people in the movie industry who hate Uwe Boll because the man has shown himself time and time again to be a complete asshole who knowingly waste millions of dollars to make crap movies he can still profit from. That's a lot of money.

The man made some shitty movies, wasting millions of dollars of tax money, knowing he would still profit, and when some people stood up and said "That's pretty bad conduct" he told them they were invited to a "boxing match PR stunt". He informed the ones who asked that they would receive training, lying to their faces, as he didn't provide training at all. He put them into the ring, with no experience and then beat the crap out of them. Casual observes ignored the 'asshole factor' and heralded the man as a genius, dismissing his critics as "angry nerds".

I don't care about his movies. I haven't even seen them. But there has been no evidence to suggest he's a nice man, or a smart man, yet there's plenty of evidence to suggest that he himself, is a very very "angry nerd".

I voted to stop Uwe Boll, because the man is a jerk.
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KvP

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #46 on: 13 Apr 2008, 13:23 »

Who cares if Uwe Boll is an asshole? There are bigger assholes in the movie business who just happen to be more talented. This has nothing to do with him personally and everything to do with the movies he makes. Do we want Quentin Tarantino to stop making movies because he is, by all rights, a massive dick? What about Lars von Trier or Micheal Haneke? I'd bet you that the Hollywood lobby saps more money out of the US Government per year in pork and tax breaks than Uwe Boll will sap from Germany in the entirety of his career. Do we really want to say that Spiderman 3 or Evan Almighty was less of a waste of money than any of Boll's cheap stinkers because they came from investors instead of taxpayers? They weren't totally without quality like Boll's films, but they cost exponentially more. Both of those movies cost at least half a billion dollars put together. You could put a real dent in some global problem with that kind of money. To my knowledge, Boll's tax loophole has been closed. Huge, garish blockbusters will continue to be made long after Boll's imminent demise as a filmmaker, and they'll make his waste look like fuckin' peanuts.

Anyway, I don't mean to be too argumentative. Yeah, Boll is a dick (the statement he released with his "save Boll" petition was pretty indicative) but on the other hand, people who do have talent also tend to be dicks as well. If we resent certain "artists" because of their egos, can we love others in spite of them and be reasonably consistent?
« Last Edit: 13 Apr 2008, 13:33 by Kid van Pervert »
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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #47 on: 13 Apr 2008, 17:02 »

I can't think of any other 'artist' that used a boxing match as an excuse to assault his critics. This is an opportunity to give the man a much needed lesson in humility. I can't understand why people wouldn't approve.

And sure, most big budget movies suck and are a waste of billions of dollars per year. But the guys making those movies didn't say they'd stop if they had a million critics. Uwe Boll is being singled out simply because he basically asked to be singled out.
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Surgoshan

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #48 on: 13 Apr 2008, 17:34 »

It's not just that Boll is an asshole.  It's not just that he's making money making terrible movies.  It's not just that he give video games a black eye every time he makes a movie.  It's not just that

It's that he thinks he's awesome while doing all those things.
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Ikrik

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Re: Stop Uwe Boll
« Reply #49 on: 13 Apr 2008, 21:10 »


It's that he thinks he's awesome while doing all those things.

Yeah....but if you watch his movies...then you will see that he is a REAL genius...not like that idiot Michael Bay or Eli Roth.
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