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Girlfriend/Whore Dictonomy

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ubermensch:
I think the pertinent question here is that WHY were you not seeing other girls? You have a scarcity mentality. She is not special or unique. She is part of the 50% of the world's population with a vagina. The rest of the stuff just endears her more than the other girls.

Get your validation from your life. In 4 months you shouldn't have gotten so close that you couldn't just walk away at the drop of a hat.

I actually PREFER your situation over a committed, monogamous relationship. She flat out TOLD you (which is more than most girls would have done - subcommunication is king among girls) what the play was, and you still ignored that and hopped aboard the fucked-up emotional rollecoaster that isnt finished yet, and will just dump you off at the top.

You had the perfect thing going. All the awesomeness of closeness and sharing cool stuff and great sex with a cool chick (which she obviously was), without the restrictions on the rest of your life! WHY would you ruin this? Do you know how hard it is to keep multiple situations of this kind going at once? It takes a lot of my energy day to day, believe me :)

Remove this idea that any girl who spends a reasonable amount of time with you and likes you and fucks you is going to be exclusive with you. Its holding you back from experiencing some really amazing things.

FoolOnTheHill:

--- Quote from: ubermensch on 09 Apr 2008, 14:44 ---
You had the perfect thing going. All the awesomeness of closeness and sharing cool stuff and great sex with a cool chick (which she obviously was), without the restrictions on the rest of your life! WHY would you ruin this? Do you know how hard it is to keep multiple situations of this kind going at once? It takes a lot of my energy day to day, believe me :)

Remove this idea that any girl who spends a reasonable amount of time with you and likes you and fucks you is going to be exclusive with you. Its holding you back from experiencing some really amazing things.

--- End quote ---

See, here's the thing, I can't do that. I'm not like that and can't be cool with the fact that I'm just another guy in her man-harem. Yeah, we had some nice times, but now I feel they're all tainted by the fact she's been seeing these other guys and I was never told. Really I think her not telling me she was seeing other guys was bullshit. There's a difference between "I can't be your girlfriend" and "I'm seeing other men as well as you", and for her to not tell me something like that isn't right.

bunnyThor:

--- Quote from: FoolOnTheHill on 09 Apr 2008, 15:17 ---See, here's the thing, I can't do that. I'm not like that and can't be cool with the fact that I'm just another guy in her man-harem.
--- End quote ---

If you don't want that, then you should be in an exclusive relationship. Since she didn't want to be in an exclusive relationship with you, you were risking the possibility that you were just one guy in her man-harem.

If this wasn't clear, then you should have asked before blithely sticking it in her. Your hang-up and your fault.


--- Quote from: FoolOnTheHill on 09 Apr 2008, 15:17 --- Yeah, we had some nice times, but now I feel they're all tainted by the fact she's been seeing these other guys and I was never told.
--- End quote ---

The only thing tainting the memory of those nice times is your attitude. And since she wasn't your girlfriend, you really had no say in who she was with, and no reasonable expectation of being informed either.

 
--- Quote from: FoolOnTheHill on 09 Apr 2008, 15:17 ---Really I think her not telling me she was seeing other guys was bullshit.
--- End quote ---

I imagine she feels the same about the hissy-fit you had. The difference is that she was up-front about her feelings, and you were ignoring that and making assumptions.


--- Quote from: FoolOnTheHill on 09 Apr 2008, 15:17 --- There's a difference between "I can't be your girlfriend" and "I'm seeing other men as well as you", and for her to not tell me something like that isn't right.

--- End quote ---

Which was it? "I'm not your girlfriend" or "I can't be your girlfriend"?

Regardless of which it was, it's pretty darn clear that she was not your girlfriend.

And since she was not your girlfriend, you had no say in who she was with or why she was with them.

FoolOnTheHill:
You know BunnyThor, I agree with you a bit to be honest, she wasn't my girlfriend, but it still hurt like a bitch...

est:
Posts like this are better left for the "I like HURRRR" forum, so that we may suitably chasten the poster for blogging about personal problems to strangers on a public forum.

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