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Violence is apparently better for children than two gay men.

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onewheelwizzard:
Guys, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that maybe having sex in video games IS worse than violence.  Not because it is better for kids to learn about violence than to learn about sex, because that's obviously not the case, but let's face it ... most video games are traditionally violent fantasies.  Anyone who plays a lot of them almost certainly treats them as such.  To what extent do we want sexuality to be presented in a medium that is traditionally violent and fantastic?  There's no way, to my knowledge, for healthy sexual attitudes to be explored and developed through video games, not in the current point in their evolution.  Until someone comes up with a dating sim that's developed enough to actually teach people things that are worth knowing about interpersonal relationships, what good can it do anyone to have sex in video games?  All it does right now is further glamorize and sexualize the violent, competitive attitudes that most video games encourage within the game, and anything that sexualizes violence is something to be VERY wary of in my book.

I would personally be quite disturbed if my children learned anything sexual from today's video games.  I wouldn't object to my children being exposed to sexual content in a context that promoted healthy and respectful relationships, but I sure as hell would object if my children were exposed to sexual content in a context that encouraged violent reactions to conflict and turned violent characters into sexual protagonists.  It's about the association between sex and violence.  That's an association that society simply doesn't want to encourage.

If video games successfully diversify and virtual reality really does come to encompass extremely nuanced aspects of human life like sexuality, I'll change my tune, but until then, I'm really skeptical.  So far, sex in video games has generally gone along the lines of Grand Theft Auto, in which the character abuses women gratuitously and furthermore is rewarded for it.

Think about a narrative-based video game with sexual themes that has a female protagonist.  How would THAT work?  I find it hard to imagine a game that could pull that off without being flagrantly offensive.  That mere fact gives me pause.  If the video game context is skewed enough towards masculinity, violence, and competition that I can't even imagine a game that appropriately represented a sexual female protagonist, that's a good reason not to involve sex in video games.  Again, it's not about the sexuality itself ... it's about the fact that a video game simply isn't yet a viable means of presenting healthy attitudes towards sexuality.

benji:
Onewheelwizzard, what do you feel about the Sims? Here you have a game in which violence is rare (characters occasionally get in to slap-fights or brawls, but this isn't the point of the game) but which does allow sexual situations. The protagonists of the game are mostly player-created, and creating a sexual female protagonist is fairly easy, much easier then creating a violent protagonist. You may say that this is just the exception that proves the rule, but I think it's hard to say that that game in particular encourages a violent view of sex. I can think of other games that have non-violent themes and some romantic (if not exactly sexual) sub-plot. The Harvest Moon series, for example, has usually had a courtship mini-game where the main character must find a wife or husband by visiting them at home and giving them flowers or presents.

Now, I don't deny that it's a complex issue. Many games are violent and so do or would promote the kind of violent behavior you're talking about. I also have some reservations about the classic Dating Sim set up. Usually the goal is simply to get one of the girls (or boys in some of them) in the game to fall in love with you/agree to sleep with you. This encourage the idea that, in order to "win" sex, you must manipulate people with gifts and carefully chosen words which you don't really mean. To a certain extent, this is unavoidable. Games usually have goals and the player seeks to achieve those goals by any means necessary. Human relationships, by contrast, tend to suffer when people try to "game the system."

Still, it would be possible to create a game about building a healthy relationship. You would simply have to change the "goal." Many Dating Sims (as I understand them. I admit I've never actually played one) end when the girl agrees to go out with you or sleep with you, but what if we put the goal further out? What if the goal was to have a happy and fulfilling long-term relationship? Or perhaps a game in which the goal is simply to navigate a complex social situation and come out of it happy and fulfilled?

ThePQ4:
...If that where the case, that would be the most boring Dating Sim ever. Jeez.

When it comes down to it, it's up the parents to screen their kids video games. They really feel that simulated sexual situations are too much for little Billy or Susie, then guess what: Don't let them play the game. Too many parents expect retailers and video-game makers to police their games, and get mad when their kids get a hold of questionable material, when if they had just taken the time to research the game their kid wanted and said, "No, I'm sorry, I don't think you're old enough to play something like that", then these discussions wouldn't even need be to had,

Sox:
It doesn't matter. Even a well scripted dating sim with a 'disney ending' goal won't be realistic in the slighest in regards to actual human relationships. The only way to learn about them is to get outside and interact with people, and watching/guiding scripted characters is never going to teach you anything valuable about how to interact with people.

Surgoshan:
Yeah, a dating sim would only be realistic if you went through half a dozen shitty breakups and had a significant minigame involving drinking and eating ice cream.

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