Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Commitment
Lines:
--- Quote from: pi on 26 May 2008, 17:46 ---I guess that was the reason behind marriage in the first place: creating a stable and positive environment for kids to grow up in
--- End quote ---
Man, it's obvious you have commitment issues, but that statement really bothers me. I wouldn't have been bothered if you said family alliance or money, the former which includes having kids, but that alone just bothers me.
I don't believe that there is just one person for anyone. When you're married, your husband/wife should be your one person. It's not just a piece of paper, it's a commitment to one another to be there for each other. That's why they say until death do you part, because that's what it should be. Yes, I believe divorce is right for some situations, but giving up just because you meet someone new who might be better is crap. Sorry. Especially if you really do love the person you are already with. If you don't want or can't handle the commitment (which I know happens, considering one of my uncles is on his 4th wife for this reason), don't get married.
Maybe I'm romanticizing it a bit, but that's what I really believe. Really, I honestly only want to be married once.
pi:
--- Quote from: jhocking on 27 May 2008, 08:12 ---You are hitting the perfectionist's roadblock, that until you are absolutely 100% sure of the decision you should make you are unable to make any decision. The obvious problem there is that you will never be absolutely 100% certain, so you will never make a decision. Of course, this is only a problem if you actually wish to make a decision.
--- End quote ---
But are you not, in essence, saying that you are 100% certain that you will stay with your partner until death, when you take your vows?
--- Quote from: Linds on 27 May 2008, 08:16 ---
--- Quote from: pi on 26 May 2008, 17:46 ---I guess that was the reason behind marriage in the first place: creating a stable and positive environment for kids to grow up in
--- End quote ---
Man, it's obvious you have commitment issues, but that statement really bothers me. I wouldn't have been bothered if you said family alliance or money, the former which includes having kids, but that alone just bothers me.
--- End quote ---
You think marrying for money or because your parents told you to is morally superior than doing so for the wellbeing of your children?
jhocking:
--- Quote from: pi on 27 May 2008, 08:54 ---But are you not, in essence, saying that you are 100% certain that you will stay with your partner until death, when you take your vows?
--- End quote ---
Not really. I mean, I suppose technically you are saying that if you get really pedantic about parsing the rhetoric, but as with many things in life people state things in absolute terms in order to convey the depth of their emotion. Given that you sound like you are attempting to understand this scientifically, let me compare it to an example a scientist might understand: how sure are you about evolution? Absolutely 100% certain or just so sure that you really can't imagine it not being so? If you aren't 100% sure, are you still certain enough to take a great risk (eg. basing a career around evolution being true) for it?
Of course, when taking vows you are clearly saying that you are very certain, and I pointed out that you should be very certain, not marrying on a whim.
supersheep:
--- Quote from: pi on 27 May 2008, 08:03 ---See, I was trying to avoid the concept of love because it seems to be an irrational emotion, or one that people have trouble defining. There was a thread on love a few years back, and I thought Tommy held his own. And, using irrational concepts in a rational discussion makes it difficult to understand or counter as you don't completely understand it.
--- End quote ---
There is a problem with this, though, in that relationships and all human interaction in general is not exactly rational. You don't make a rational choice to be attracted to someone or friends with them, it just sort of happens. Of course, you can make rational choices as to how you behave based on this, but nonetheless it's still based on non-rational behaviour (not necessarily irrational.)
I think Joe said it pretty well - it takes a long-term relationship to let you know if the person you're with is right for you. If, somehow, you do find someone who is so immediately and obviously better for you than the person you are with now, this is probably a sign that you should not be with them any more, in my opinion.
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: supersheep on 27 May 2008, 09:21 ---If, somehow, you do find someone who is so immediately and obviously better for you than the person you are with now, this is probably a sign that you should not be with them any more, in my opinion.
--- End quote ---
Take it from me, you can be wrong.
Paul
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version