Dear Blog Thread,
To get away from near deaths, I propose you listen to my problems for a moment.
This weekend, Saturday to be exact, I did some yard work at the lovely house my parents are selling. On my way out to finish part of my job, the asshat neighbor's boyfirend approached me, and threatend to quote: "Kick the shit out of you if you ever look at my girlfriend again like that." Now, me being me, I tell the guy that I have no intentions of looking at his girlfriend (whom I have not seen in about a ear, and did not know she was bck from college) for two reasons, one, I find her completely unattractive (I said she was fucking ugly), and two, I could never look at her again anyways because f the time I caught her in the car with her previous boyfriend (whom I kicked the shit out of for taking a baseball bat to my car), the second incident nearly causing my to gorge my own eyes out (I didn't tell him that part). He proceeds to tell me how he was going to kick the ever living shit out of me, right now. I tell him to bring it. I'm hot, I'm sweaty, and I was in a bad mood because I didn't sleep the greatest the night before, and here was this asshat, threatening me. Lucky for asshat, my dad came out of the arage right then and there, and came over. My father told the dipshit to beat it, or he was going to be forced to videotape me beating the shit out of the dude. He leaves, my dad pulls me aside and tells me not to fight with the kid aka "Don't lay a fucking finger on him." I finish thework, and stay back to lock up. As I am leaving, the dipshit comes back, acting all big and tough. You all know the type of bullshit,, "Where's your daddy to save you now?" I tll him to piss off, and proceed to get into my car. He slams the door shut on me, and tries to corner me. Things escalate, and he asks for me to punch him (the finger poke in the sternum, guy talk for "punch me.") The realtor shows up to show a couple the house, and I tell him to meet me at the Walmart parking lot. I get into my car, he gets into his and speeds off. I call my dad and ask him why i cannot "Lay a fucking finger on him", and my dad tells me that I will most likely beat the shit out of the kid, and I will get arrested, and he will not come to bail me out. I decide that hose are good enough reasons, so I go home. However, this has left me in all kinds of pissed-off-ed-ness. I get home, avoid everybody (not an easy feet) and go into my room. I immeadiately look for something hard to start punching. And that's when my inner engineer kicks in, and I mentally diagram the best points to punch my bookshelf to obtain maximum poswer, and minimal damage i.e. the corners, and where the shelves rest against the frame. So, I do that. I punch it several times. Each time, the thing tilts backwards and falls back forward. When I am finished, i have successfully broken my pinkie and ringfinger on my right hand, I (I admit this freely) I had tears rolling down my face from the glorious pain, and my anger was subsiding. Of course, fight afterwards, my grandparents show up and want to take me out to go shopping for my new car. This would be rather awkward as my eyes were swollen and red, and My hand was broken. I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and put on my sunglasses. I kept them on for the first hour or so of shopping. I am ambidexterous, but the majority of the population is right-handed, and everyone shakes with their right hand, and all those car sales men... Man, I hate them right now. Especially the guys with the "firm" handshakes.