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POINTLESS THREAD II: ESCAPE FROM RAPTOR MOUNTAIN
Reed:
What's better than a Goth in Hot Weather?
Clintaga:
Also, in case your wondering what kind of fortitude it takes to own that horror-cat, I read an article on it, and the guy who takes care of it/lives with it is actuallyblind, and all the pictures are taken by his girlfriend,or something.
axerton:
I don't know if this has been posted before but in the theme of textsfromlastnight and photobomb, I present notalwaysright
this one was a particular favourite
(I’m working the night shift when suddenly a guy dressed in black with a mask over his head comes in. He pulls out a gun and comes heading my way. Without even thinking, I incapacitate him with a basic self-defense skill.)
Customer: “HOLY S***! What the h*** are you doing?”
Me: “Sir, you were about to hold me up!”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “You came into the store with a mask over your head and gun in hand.”
(At this point, I notice that the gun is a controller for a game. I let him go.)
Me: “I’m very sorry about what just happened, sir. So you wanted that fixed, right?”
Customer: “It’s… no big deal, can you fix it anyway?”
Me: “Not a problem, sir.”
(After checking the wiring and whatnot inside the gun, I find some faulty chipwork and fix it.)
Me: “Here you go, sir.”
Customer: “Thanks.” *pays up*
Me: “Just one thing, though.”
Customer: “Ah, yeah?”
Me: “What’s with the mask?”
Customer: “Sometimes, I like to pretend!” *giggles and walks out*
(I never worked the night shift again.)
JD:
This one is gold
(Note: Bear spray is basically just pepper spray that you use if you are attacked by a bear.)
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [outdoor supply store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, um…I bought some bear spray from you earlier today and now my skin is burning.”
Me: “Your skin is burning? Did the bear spray come into contact with your skin?”
Customer: “Of course! I sprayed it all over myself!”
Me: “Did you read the instructions?”
Customer: “No, I thought it was like bug spray.”
Me: “Sir, you’re not supposed to spray it on your skin. You’re supposed to spray it in the bear’s eyes. You should probably go take a shower.”
Customer: “So I can’t repel the bears by putting bear spray on my skin?”
Me: “No, sir…are you sure bear country is the right place for you?
phooey:
I DID THIS PICTURE OF A HAIRY MEDIEVAL FRENCH KING, BUT I STILL WISH I WAS KATE BEATON
HUAGHBLUGHALUGHAGOUGH
:x
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