Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Never ever ever ever

8 (7.4%)

No

7 (6.5%)

Maybe for survival

46 (42.6%)

I'll try it once

17 (15.7%)

Yes to human steak

15 (13.9%)

Only if it's deep fried

15 (13.9%)

Total Members Voted: 86

[fatty]

om nom nom humans?

Add your suggestions below...

[Liz]

Only if I were stranded on an island that had no other food or up in the mountains like the dudes in Alive.

And I would cry the whole time and say "sorry" over and over.

[fatty]

Title text: Some people haven't heard of the Donner Party.  They were pioneers who got stranded and likely resorted to cannibalism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party

[Thlayli]

I second the comment about being stranded in the Andes with a bunch of soccer players.

On a culinary note, I have to imagine athletic guys are kind of lean and stringy. So if I absolutely had to cannibalize to stay alive, and had the resources to do it right, I'd marinate and grill it like a flank steak. I have no clue what the best parts to eat would be though... maybe the lumbar region?

[Tom]

I think I want to change my vote now, New Yorker Stake sounds delicious!

I swear this thread is just an excuse for fatty to post that xkcd comic.

[fatty]

Thhat is so not true, it was purely as a setup to post this.



(Not true either, I actually want people to participate in the poll)

[NarwhalSunshine]

If you eat one type of meat you should at least try the others

[Darkbluerabbit]

That picture made me retch a little.

Also, I'm guessing the buttocks, as the largest muscle, would probably be the best cut of people meat.  You could even leave the person alive, Candide style.

[David_Dovey]

Honestly I'm almost insanely curious about what human meat tastes like.

[Social Bacon]

No reason not too, apart from potential genetic defects if you eat too much.

[ViolentDove]

I was voted "Most Likely To Be The First Eaten If We Have To Resort To Cannibalism" by my friends once. It made me a bit nervous to go on long trips with them after. 

Also, I'd eat human.

[Thaes]

I´ll eat anything if it tastes good, and I cannot see why human meat wouldn´t taste good. All the other animals I´ve tasted so far have been good!

[fatty]

Also, Donner Party is ridiculous. Get stuck in an american suburb and kill young homosexuals and it's a terr ible crime, do it in the forest and you get a national fucking park named after you.

As for me: I would eat human flesh if I had to, but obviously it would be a last resort, and I'd be pushed pretty far before it came to that.

So, do you or don't you believe in moral relativity in life/death situations? I mean, you just said it's stupid that people stranded in a forest for months of winter who resorted to cannibalism got a park named after them for being pioneering settlers. Then admited you would eat human flesh if you had to also? Or do you just object to the fact that killing young homosexuals is a worse crime?

[waterloosunset]

I've always had an interest in the taste of human flesh, unfortunately few people are willing to volunteer themselves t be consumed, so I'm still having to hang around in bushes waiting to ambush unsuspecting travelers.


And Donner Party, did they have an influence on Doner Kebabs? The shape of that meat is becoming even scarier...

[jimbunny]

I've been watching that shit on the Travel Channel, like "No Reservations" and the other one where the guy eats strange food... I can't really imagine human meat being much weirder than some of the stuff we already eat.

OK, so maybe taste isn't the issue here...

[gargoylekitty]

[CamusCanDo]

A dude I know cooked a strip of flesh from his arm and ate it because he was so curious what it tasted like.

Life and death situation? Sure, I'd eat some dude or lady. For strange strange reason though having to eat a bit of my own flesh just does not sit right with me.

[pen]

I think I feel pretty much the same about people as I do animals.  If i know the person, I probably couldn't do it, even if it were a matter of survival.  I wouldn't want to eat my dog if I had one either.  I'd feel like I was betraying a friend.  However, if there were a stranger around and I was desparate....

[Thomas Edison]

Thomas Edison is pro-cannibalism.

[jhocking]

And Donner Party, did they have an influence on Doner Kebabs? The shape of that meat is becoming even scarier...

doner kebabs are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.

[jhocking]

I wish one of the smilies was a robot. I would have used it right now.

[fatty]

[Boro_Bandito]

Honestly, I think I'd rather die than eat someone, but then I'd probably be the first to go anyway, so me not wanting to eat others wouldn't matter in the long haul while they roast me on a spit and consume of my flesh. It's got me thinking though, I'd be pretty tasty. Tender and juicy, plenty of me to go around, this is disturbing.

[Stryc9Fuego]

I'd have to be picky about what human flesh I'd eat. I don't want some exercise freak, that meat would be too tough, but I also wouldn't want that 1,000 lb dude who would die of a heart failure. Someone with decent amount of fat would be allright, just enough to get a good sizzle going without the steak being all greasy.

Alternately, I'd totally eat a baby. I imagine it to taste like the most succulent veal.

If you'd only eat the flesh of a particular ethnic group, would that make you racist?

[Cartilage Head]

 Man, I JUST talked about this last night with my friends.

 I probably wouldn't. I mean, I might want to, but I wouldn't be able to stomach it because HE IS PEOPLE.

Also, to you wannabe cannibals out there, roast the human whole and eat the eyeballs. They absorb tons of flavor, much like when you roast other animals whole.

[Slick]

doner kebabs are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.

For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.

I like how doner kebab and gyros say doner kebabs were first, shwarma makes no mention of who was first, and tacos al pastor think it was doner kebab first but aren't quite sure.

[Cartilage Head]

I'VE HAD ONE DESIRE SINCE I WAS BORN

TO SEE MY BODY RIPPED AND TORN

TO SEE MY FLESH DEVOURED BEFORE MY EYES

ONLY FOR YOU, I VOLUNTEER AS A HUMAN SACRIFICE

CARVE ME UP, SLICE ME APART
SUCK MY GUTS AND LICK MY HEART
CHOP ME UP, I LONG TO BE HURT
DRINK MY MARROW AND BLOOD FOR DESSERT
EATEN
MY ONE DESIRE MY ONLY WISH IS TO BE
EATEN
THE LONGER I LIVE THE MORE I'M DYING TO FEEL THE PAIN
EATEN
I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE
EATEN
MY ONE DESIRE MY ONLY WISH IS TO BE
EATEN

I FINALLY FOUND YOU, MY PERSONAL SLAUGHTER

AS AN APPETIZER, I LET YOU TASTE MY DAUGHTER

CALL ME SICK BUT THIS IS WHAT I NEED

MY ONLY PURPOSE IS FOR YOU TO FEED

[jhocking]

For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.

awesome, now I need to look through the edit history of the page to see this for myself!

[öde]

Honey it's getting close to midnight
And all the myths are still in town
True love and lipstick on your linen
Bite the pillow make no sound
If there's some living to be done (HA)
Before your life becomes your tomb
You'd better know that I'm the one
So unchain your back door invite me around

Bring your daughter, bring your daughter to the slaughter
Let her go, let her go, let her go

[öde]

Oh wait, that's about anal.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

since when did fleshdonor.org get shut down? that sucks.

and in case you don't know, basically they wanted to create a government program similar to the organ donor program so you could be butchered for human consumption upon your death, if you chose. it was a really great idea that i fully supported, and even wrote a paper about it in highschool.

obviously, you would be tested first to make sure you were disease-free etc.
think of how much good such a program could potentially cause. there would be more meat available to the public and at cheaper cost, and if the program gained a decent amount of popularity and success then i don't doubt that many acres of land currently used for cow pastures would be freed up for other purposes such as low-cost housing, or a public park, or hell even a wind-energy farm or solar panel array. it could even be used to grow fruits or vegetables, increasing the country's overall food output.

Remember: Don't eat the brain!

[Lines]

I don't think I'd eat human flesh even if I were starving. Ugh. I mean, people get cranky about what farmers feed animals that get eaten, why the heck would I want to eat a person that eats god knows what. Just whatever happens, I hope nothing happens like in Haunted, where one of the chicks accidentally eats part of her own flesh before she realizes that she's got chunks missing from her legs/ass and bleeds to death.

[johnny5]

doner kebabs are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.

For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.

I like how doner kebab and gyros say doner kebabs were first, shwarma makes no mention of who was first, and tacos al pastor think it was doner kebab first but aren't quite sure.

the only time i've eaten shwarma, weirdly, is in holland. i guess it's really popular there. they offered up a garlic white sauce as a side, do they do the same for all shwarma shops? (also, never eat that before you go out drinking..the throwup is not pleasant)

As for eating humans, i honestly dont know if i could "stomach" it. i might just get too sick and stop/hurl. in a life and death situation, i'd probably try to kill myself as peacefully as possible.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

if you're body is lacking certain essential vitamins or minerals you're brain will trick you into thinking that food containing those things tastes really delicious and you'll basically be helpless to resist.

same thing goes for if you're starving to death. you're brain will make you care less and less about taste or your own ideals until you have no control.

[Social Bacon]

Remember: Don't eat the brain!

Human equivalent of mad cow! But you have to eat quite a bit of brain before you'll develop it.

[ThePQ4]

I would eat another person... Granted, when I first tried it, I would have to not know what it was. But if someone just handed me a slice that looked rather innocuous, I would try it. If it were good, I would of course have to ask what it was...

[NarwhalSunshine]

No mention of John Swift or Cannibal the musical?

[mooface]

goddamn you people are freaks.

if the program gained a decent amount of popularity and success then i don't doubt that many acres of land currently used for cow pastures would be freed up for other purposes such as low-cost housing, or a public park, or hell even a wind-energy farm or solar panel array. it could even be used to grow fruits or vegetables, increasing the country's overall food output.

another solution would be to just eat less meat.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

first of all, that will never happen. (neither will my plan either, of course)

second of all, i disagree with the way we handle dead bodies on a fundamental level in the first place, so this kills two birds with one stone, so to speak. think of how much space is taken up in the U.S. alone by cemetaries and graveyards. to me, it seems like an awful waste of space. space that could be used for any number of much more useful things.

legal, controlled, cannibalism could have many positive effects in many different ways that aren't always readily apparent. i'm sure there's plenty that i can't even think of. and of course, there's probably an equal amount of negative effects i haven't thought of either but that's the job of those opposed to it, not me.

[celticgeek]

Soylent Green

[öde]

first of all, that will never happen.

Unless you eat less meat. Then it is happening. Try not to think of yourself as completely insignificant because you actually do have a huge effect on the world.

[KharBevNor]

I have a fetish for cannibalism, but I'm not sure I'd actually do it, except in a survival situation, and then probably only if the person I was eating had died of something else first, or if I didn't like them.

Also, that fleshdonor thing totally sounds like something a cannibal fetishist might have thought up.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

first of all, that will never happen.

Unless you eat less meat. Then it is happening. Try not to think of yourself as completely insignificant because you actually do have a huge effect on the world.

i didn't realize she was directing that specifically at me. i guess i read it wrong and thought she meant everyone.

of course i could eat less meat but i don't want to because i don't eat very much meat to begin with.

besides the whole point of the plan is make the world a better place without having to personally do a thing. it's the American Dream.

[KharBevNor]

Also.


Bound and gagged in a black pot
Seared and flavoured with herbs and salt
Marinated slowly in a secret sauce
Roasted and served as sumptuous course
They dribble and drool as I try and get loose
Stewing slowly in my own juice
Rubbing their tummies and licking their lips
Devoured me up and served with chips

By the time they're done there'll be no one left around
Just a special bus full of mutants geeks and downs
We'll be beaten tender so we taste real nice
When we're sliced and diced and served with rice
By the hobblin, wobbling, stammering spacks
And the inbred freaks with misshapen backs
Demented 'tards with missing teeth
Cutting me up and chewing on my meat

Masticated by the spasticated

Put me in a pot, put me in the pain
Boil up my bones, fry my glands
Take away my heart, put it in the coals
Slice me up fine, serve me in bowls

Checks my eyes for signs of life
Masticated by the spasticated
I black out as he sharpens his knife
Masticated by the spasticated
By the time they're done there'll be no one left around
Masticated by the spasticated
Just a special bus full of mutants geeks and downs
Masticated by the spasticated
We'll be beaten tender so we taste real nice
Masticated by the spasticated
When we're sliced and diced and served with rice
Masticated by the spasticated

[jhocking]

think of how much space is taken up in the U.S. alone by cemetaries and graveyards. to me, it seems like an awful waste of space. space that could be used for any number of much more useful things.

Anyone who thinks the US has a shortage of space has obviously never taken a long road trip.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

man, as soon as i saw that joe had replied to this thread i knew you were gonna come in here and get all old and wise on my ass. lucky for me, i have a counter-point.

firstly, i never said we had a shortage of space. i just think burying bodies is a waste of space.

secondly, alot of that empty space is desert and is practically unusable.

ooh you know what i just thought of? why don't we just use that desert space for burying people and put current cemetary land to better use. everybody wins. the people that don't want to get eaten can still be buried (and be preserved much better by the dry climate anyway) and we have more land in urban areas for other things....like malt shops.

[jhocking]

as soon as i saw that joe had replied to this thread i knew you were gonna come in here and get all old and wise on my ass.

Have you been drinking?



BONUS: alternative lines I considered before settling on that one -

Did you hit your head today?

Are you on the drugs?

I think you have me confused with Yoda.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

i should have been more specific:

when i said "wise" i should have said "much smarter than me"

[Lines]

Also, I didn't think that much of the US was desert. I would think there'd be more plain, mountain, and forest region.

But yes, being buried is a waste of space, a waste of money, and actually quite silly. I mean, they want to prevent you from turning into compost. How silly! I will not partake in that nonsense! Plus, embalmed people give me the jibblies. No, I won't go to your funeral.

[mooface]

i would prefer to donate my body to medicine & research than be eaten.  i feel like that would be much more useful.  americans could stand to eat a few less hamburgers, anyways.