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financial independence

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Blue Kitty:
I am currently in college, have a pretty steady job ($8 an hour, though I will have to get a new one once I get to school), but I still live with my mother.  I don't exactly pay my mom anything, besides car insurance money for the cars that she has bought for my sister and I to use (though the only reason is because it is so high).

I am kind of sad that I am still with my mom and I wish I could get my own place, but so far I don't have money for it.  Thanks to the few tickets I have gotten I have to pay $225 a month (which will increase thanks to my "improper passing" ticket) and I don't have any savings thanks to the fact that I got my first paying job 2 years ago (I could only get volunteer jobs up until then).  Though she does provide room, board, and food, my mom does not actually pay for my college education, and the state does not either thanks to the fact that my mom makes so much. I can rely on my dad though since he hasn't paid a cent yet but only because I have not asked him to.  It seems like every time I pay for my classes I have to clean out my account.

I don't want to see I look down at people that "mooch" off of their parents, but it is the thing that I do, though I do hate it at times.  I am looking forward to moving out and getting out on my own, getting my own place with my own money, but I only see that happening after I have graduated and gotten a good mortician's job.

Cartilage Head:
 Jesus christ I spent like ten minutes typing a post and something fucked up. Fucking hell. To hell with this goddamn thread.

RedLion:
I wouldn't say that I'm financially independent, as, even though I'm going to college in less than a month, my parents are paying for most of the cost of the dorm. Additionally, because of the Mobil Speedpass that my parents had put on the keychain to the car that has passed on to me, whenever I pay for gas, it's put into a fund that it divided between their bank account and mine, so I don't even pay the full price of my gas. However, I pay for most other things myself--food, clothes, internet, cable, car insurance, etc.

I think that as I'm in college I'll probably be forced to leech off of my parents for various purposes; but as Beloit gives you a job on campus, I'll be making $1,500 dollars during the school year. Not a windfall, but enough to finance my discretionary spending, I should think, combined with the 800 or so I currently have in my checking account--again, not a goldmine, but enough.

The real question about financial independence will come when I reach age 21 and then have access to the funds that my rather well-off grandma left for me in her will (some $40,000 dollars). My grandfather was the vice-president of one of the biggest companies in America in the late 1950's--I can't remember the name, which I know seems suspicious, but it's the truth. After he passed away, that money obviously transferred to my grandmother, who died just a year ago. I think she intended that money to be used as a nest egg--to put a good chunk towards the purchase of a home, etc. But I wonder if, when I reach the age when I need to use that money, since it's not money that I actually earned myself, will that qualify as being financially independent, since I won't be reliant on my parents?

I feel almost guilty about it, like I shouldn't have that money, because with it, I know that no matter what, I won't be sleeping on the streets. I'm very big on the idea of self-sufficiency, but I've never been self-sufficient in my life, and I won't be for awhile still, as I go through college, those expenses are being largely subsidized by my parents, and once I get out of college, I have that lump sum to help me get started up with a "real" life. Am I justified in feeling that way? Or should I just be happy about it and stop whining?

negative creep:
I will turn 22 in about a month. I just finished my first semester of university (not the first i started) and my parents pay for my rent (€150) and give me another 150 for food and other stuff. As some of you might remember, I go to university in Mainz, which is quite far away from here, at least to do what I'm doing, going home almost every weekend. That means two things: first, I spend €32 each weekend for train tickets; second, I can work on the weekend in a pub. I don't earn much there, but it helps.

Without my parents, though, I couldn't support myself without a full tim job, which would lead to me doing even less for university than I do as it is. I don't see that as leeching (much), as I fully intend to do the same to my children. You could call it a cycle, except that my parents were not supported by their parents, which led to my mother having to work full tim from the age of 14 and my father, who was not only not supported by his parents, but had to actually support them, was unable to get his degree and thus had to get a different job, which paid (as he didn't finish university) much less than most other jobs he could have had if he had finished university.

I am ignoring the fact that he was actually studying thology and wanted to become a Roman Catholic priest.

In conclusion: I think it's ok to be supported by your parents, if they can afford it.

tania:
i actually recommend moving out for college if it isn't financially stressful in any way. if you don't move out of your parents house for college, your next opportunity probably won't come until you're done. could be anywhere from two to five years later. the sooner you figure out how to routinely do things like pay bills and cook for yourself and do laundry and so on, the more it helps you with the whole transitioning-into-adulthood thing. i would probably be pretty useless at just about every life skill had i stayed with my parents for university. if your parents are okay with treating you like a tenant and making you do everything yourself then i guess that eliminates the problem.

basically i moved out for school when i was 17 and my parents admittedly did and are still helping me out a lot. i can't actually qualify for student loans since they are able to afford my tuition so easily, so i try not to feel too bad. i take full time courses and work full time during summer and usually part time during the school year as well. i also buy absolutely nothing fun, ever, so i guess that's kind of fair. the rule me and my parents sort of discussed was that since i'd decided to move out instead of staying in markham and going to u of t, they'd still pay my tuition while i'd pay my rent and utilities and food and basically everything else. this year that has changed a bit because in order to graduate next year i had to take some summer school, which meant i could only work one job this summer instead of two, and next year i'll be doing some pretty intense volunteer work that involves a whole mess of constant training and thus elimininates any possibility of holding a job on top of that as well. overall my situation is probably alright because i've constantly tried really fucking hard throughout school and my grades are pretty excellent and the volunteer position will probably help out a lot in finding employment once i've graduated. once in a while i wish i could have done the loan thing though. asking your family for financial support is always pretty shitty.

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