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financial independence

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est:
I lived at home, not working at all until second year of uni.  At that point I got a job on campus helping out at the computer labs and then later did some workshops (like tutoring, but not).  It felt like a natural progression!  Then I got a Helpdesk job for some reason during one semester where I only had 2 subjects to do so I had some spare time on my hands.  I progressed into a "real" job, took a study leave, then came back and finished the course.  (I think that's how it happened, something like that).

That said, I turned out remarkably sheltered.  My partner at the time was encouraged to work from an early age.  She helped out her parent's business from Primary school age, then later in High school she got a local retail job that she kept right through her uni course until she could get a better-paying,  course-related job at a nursing home.  She was and still is one of the most practical, well-grounded people I know.  It might just be a co-incidence, but I always wonder if I would have turned out differently if I had started work earlier.

I still don't think there is anything at all wrong with staying at home until you are done with your studies and/or are financially able to move out.  In my mind the only way you would be classed as "leeching" off your parents is if you were living at home and slacking off with no intention of ever changing the situation.  In your case it is more that your parents are trying to help you lay a solid foundation for your future.  There is nothing wrong with wanting your kids to have a good life, and there's nothing wrong with accepting their help if they are offering it.

Eris:
My mother is paying my board to live in my little room here (I'm living on campus as I'm 6 hours away from home), my car insurance, and I am still on their health insurance. I am rather grateful for all this, but she is a school teacher and interest rates keep making her increase loan repayments, so while she is not on the poverty line, she doesn't have a huge amount of spare income after paying her own bills. I pay for my petrol, mobile phone, and food, which was basically the case when I was living at home. She didn't charge me rent because she knew I was saving up to live, but if I was staying there I would be paying at least something once I had a secure job. The fact that I have already asked her for money makes me even less willing to ask for more, even though she has said not to leave it until I am on rice, eggs and ramen before asking for help, because I, like Jimmy, want to be self-sufficient. If I had gotten off my arse and found a job more quickly then I probably wouldn't be in this situation now, where I am getting nervy about spending things.

Living here has shown me some different financial situations in place. Mostly people have some sort of government assistance helping them with rent payments or soforth, which seems to generally be spent on alcohol and maybe food, but basically everyone in my block of 6 people have also got jobs. I think I'm the only one who doesn't get Youth Allowance or have some sort of scholarship money, but everyone seems to be as reluctant to ask for help from their parents as I am,  so there is that feeling that you're 'leeching' off your parents when you should be able to support yourself once you get to a certain point.

I have had that mentality for awhile now, going through high school and hating having to ask my parents for money felt like I was a lazy person who couldn't be bothered getting a job. My brother doesn't seem to have that problem. He still lives at home (just finished his honours), always 'forgets' to pay rent, runs out of money and borrows some for petrol, and buys things he doesn't need when he probably can't afford it. He already owes $1500 (probably more now) from borrowed money/late rent, as well as $20 000 for a tuba mum has finally paid off, and it's gotten to the point where she is taking the majority of his money when he gets paid so that he doesn't blow it on rubbish instead of paying her. I think he is leeching of Mum, and so does she, but if you bring up any of that he gets so indignant about his situation. Mum will have to make it more expensive to live at home than somewhere else for him to move out, because he has a hell of a deal going on there.

So, in closing: Help from parents is good if you need it, even though society seems to look on it as failure to be self sufficient and all that. Spending all your money on pointless junk and having to ask for help consistently is bad. Don't be that person, people. When I get a job and am able to, I am going to start paying back the money I borrowed, because Mum has spent so much on me, I want to give some back now that I can. I don't want to have to depend on anyone because it makes me think I am a failure at being a grownup, if you get what I mean.




Man, that's a big old wall of writing. Sorry about that, guys.

Social Bacon:
Haven't had a chance to read all the responses yet and I'm about to run off to work, so I'll save my comments for when I get back.
 
I'm 17, just finished high school and am going to Ottawa next year to study economics. I'll rant briefly about economics for a second; I've always been very left wing and believed that our society is not economically fair. The one thing that my study of economics has shown me is that the cause of inequality is parents passing their wealth onto their children. Needless to say this education has had a huge impact on my opinions.

Anyways, I come from a family that was formerly quite well off but do to my father becoming very ill we nearly lost everything. As such my parents have little to contribute to my education at this point, but due to our financial situation I qualify for enough government loans to cover the cost of the majority of my education. The remaining costs are being covered by me working my ass off; for my last two years of high school I worked overnight shifts as a porter, which paid very well due to the stupid hours, and sure I didn't sleep at night but I learned to cope because I needed the money and still maintained a very good average in tough courses at school.

Quite honestly I'm glad to be independent and taking care of myself, I hate to rely on and be a burden for others. Just something special about doing things for yourself. I respect people that continue to live with their parents because it is a good financial decision and if your parents are well off then you can't get loans for schooling and whatnot; but I loathe people who are spoiled. If you're parents give you a car to drive, pay your insurance, pay your cell phone bill and give you an iPod every time a new one comes out then I consider you spoiled and a representation of all the economic inequality in the world.

fatty:
I'm interested in the way I think a lot of (maybe even a majority of) people, are secretly uncomfortable with the idea of being supported by their parents or they secretly think it is the more lazy option. It's good to hear what people think of their own situation and what they think is lazy versus practical.

How about what is 'sheltered' and 'independent' and how financial (and emotional) independence affects your lifestyle and your experiences?

Living at home, I really appreciate clean laundry and food, and I support that by taking care of the house, cleaning, cooking and stuff when I am available. I would move out to be closer to university, if rent was a somehow feasible option and I had a good housemate, but with the schedule I keep for university, not being able to eat leftovers when I get back at late from school and then having to laundry before the next day would probably suck.

Hannah and bro's situation is interesting, because I think people are drawing a line between mooching and being sensible with money and that basically illustrates it.

My parents both lived away from home from a young age, my mum says it was a struggle, especially as they were both overseas students with very little help and support from family in a different country. But I'm with Oli on the point that they have worked super hard in their lives, and they've always maintained the values about money. Education, children, and health are the things they are willing to spend money on, as investments for the future. I really appreciate that, it inspires me to do the same and be independent when I can.

Edit: After considering Social Bacon's post, I'll add one thing. My friend once commented that if you're okay/well-off, your kids will be too. They won't easily slip down into poverty except through stupidity or major misfortune. It's natural for young people with financially secure parents to move quickly towards their own security. Those who are on the borederline struggle a lot more to reach that level of security before they have children themselves. So while it's noble to say that starting out on your own with nothing is the more 'fair' option, it's a bit rich(ignore that pun) say everyone shouldn't accept what help and support they get.

usmcnavgeek:
I'm 23.  Not too long after I joined the Marines, I declared (mostly to myself, mind you) that I was completely free of my parents and wouldn't go to them for any kind of financial help.  And I haven't.  Keep in mind, my situation is by no means normal, because I essentially joined the workforce right out of high school.  And, of course, if everything in my life somehow imploded, I would turn to them if it came to that.  But, I haven't had to yet.  So here's where I stand. 

No credit card debt.  None.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.
I've got a car mostly paid-for, and the means (aka savings and state aid) to continue making payments.
I've got college paid for, thanks to the state and federal programs provided for veterans.
I have about $20,000 in a couple different retirement accounts.

About the only help I'm accepting from my family now is a place to crash at for a couple months until college starts in the fall.  I buy my own food (though I do accept offers to dinner from my folks), my own gas, etc.  They don't charge me rent but if they did I could manage.

But, before I decided to enter the military, my parents had this deal:  I pay for my first year of college, and they pick up the remaining three.  They COULD have paid for all of it, sure, but they wanted me to understand, I think, the financial burden of doing that, to some extent.  And so I don't have any problem with kids accepting financial help from their parents.  I think they're going to give me some living money before I head off to college and while I won't turn it down, I won't NEED it, either.  I accepted the $3500 in federal subsidized student loans just in case.


So, to sum up, I feel that financial independence is something to strive for, but in the case of an average 18-year-old person just setting out for college it's somewhat unreasonable to expect.

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