And now, I present to you a version of the old blues standard "Stagger Lee", as adapted and performed by the esteemed Nick Cave, and his Bad Seeds.
Notice - Harsh language follows
IT WAS BACK IN '32 WHEN TIMES WERE HARD
HE HAD A COLT .45 AND A DECK OF CARDS
STAGGER LEEHE WORE RAT-DRAWN SHOES AND AN OLD STETSON HAT
HAD A '28 FORD, HAD PAYMENTS ON THAT
STAGGER LEEHIS WOMAN THREW HIM OUT IN THE ICE AND SNOW
AND TOLD HIM "NEVER EVER COME BACK NO MORE"
STAGGER LEESO HE WALKED THROUGH THE RAIN AND HE WALKED THROUGH THE MUD
TILL HE CAME TO A PLACE CALLED THE "BUCKET OF BLOOD"
STAGGER LEEHE SAID "MR. MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM"
THE BARKEEPER SAID "NO, AND I DON'T GIVE A GOOD GODDAMN"
TO STAGGER LEEHE SAID "WELL, BARTENDER, IT'S PLAIN TO SEE
I'M THAT BAD MOTHERFUCKER CALLED
STAGGER LEE"
MR. STAGGER LEEBARKEEP SAID "YEAH, I'VE HEARD YOUR NAME DOWN THE WAY
AND I KICK MOTHERFUCKING ASSES LIKE YOU EVERY DAY"
MR. STAGGER LEEWELL THOSE WERE THE LAST WORDS THE BARKEEP SAID
'CAUSE STAG PUT FOUR HOLES IN HIS MOTHERFUCKIN HEAD
JUST THEN IN CAME A BROAD NAMED NELLIE BROWN
WAS KNOWN TO MAKE MORE MONEY THAN ANY BITCH IN TOWN
SHE STRUTS TO THE BAR, HITCHIN UP HER SKIRT
OVER TO
STAGGER LEE, SHE STARTS TO FLIRT
WITH STAGGER LEESHE SAW THE BARKEEP, SAID, "O GOD, HE CAN'T BE DEAD!"
STAG SAID, "WELL, JUST COUNT THE HOLES IN THE MOTHER FUCKER'S HEAD"
SHE SAID "YOU AIN'T LOOK LIKE YOU SCORED IN QUITE A TIME
WHY NOT COME TO MY PAD? IT WON'T COST YOU A DIME"
MR. STAGGER LEE"BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I GOTTA SAY BEFORE YOU BEGIN
YOU'LL HAVE TO BE GONE BEFORE MY MAN BILLY DILLY COMES IN
MR. STAGGER LEE"
"I'LL STAY HERE TILL BILLY COMES IN, TILL TIME COMES TO PASS,
AND FURTHERMORE I'LL FUCK BILLY IN HIS MOTHER FUCKIN ASS"
SAID STAGGER LEE"I'M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T YOU KNOW,
AND I'LL CRAWL OVER 50 GOOD PUSSIES FOR A FAT BOY'S ASSHOLE"
SAID STAGGER LEEJUST THEN BILLY DILLY ROLLS IN AND SAYS "YOU MUST BE
THAT BAD MOTHER FUCKER CALLED "
STAGGER LEE"
STAGGER LEE"YEAH, I'M
STAGGER LEE AND YOU BETTER GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES
AND SUCK MY DICK, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU GONNA BE DEAD"
SAID STAGGER LEEBILLY DROPPED DOWN AND SLOBBERED ON HIS HEAD
AND STAG FILLED HIM FULL OF LEAD
OH YEAH.