Guys, I haven't even been born yet.
I will be born in 2012 in Salem, Massachusetts to a rather wealthy family. This will be a fortuitous occurrence as they will have used their considerable money to have ensured my genetics to be nothing less than perfect. I will have started reading before I was even a year old and move onto college textbook by the age of 9. By 16, I will have two PhDs (Physics and Mathematics) and have proved the Riemann hypothesis, guaranteeing my work in academia to be constant and fruitful for the rest of my life. When I will be 22, my work in combining the internet into a physical presence will stumble upon a previously unknown phenomenon, that energy is constant and has "memory" so to speak such that everything that has ever been transmitted through electricity or light still exists in some form and could be easily retrieved and made physical again. Through this phenomenon, I will truly observe the internet and use it to create a machine capable of traversing through the entire history of the "memory" of the energy, which I will then use to converse with the people of this forum for the past 4 years, establishing myself as a regular fixture, just so my words have weight when I say
This thread sucks.