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What was the funniest thing anyone's ever said to you?

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Cartilage Head:
 This is actually a really good idea for a thread.

 The funniest thing ever said to me was by my brother. He pushed me down and said in a very serious voice, "A very merry unbirthday!" and punched me in the face.

nobo:
"...ok, so you're really going to find this funny. We had this fat guy come into surgery today and i had to help tape has ass cheeks to the hospital gurney with super strength hospital duct tape so we could operate on his butthole"

-my gf describing her first week of her surgery rotation.

imapiratearg:
My friend Ryan and I were joking around about this girl we know, and he said tried to (jokingly) say "That's when you rape the shit out of her,"* and it came out as "shitting rape." So we made shitting rape jokes for the next ten minutes while laughing hysterically.

*Neither Ryan nor I condone rape, ever, at all, whatsoever.  It is an awful, terrible thing.

yelley:
my high school biology teacher.
'so the colors of the spectrum. roy g biv. so that's red... orange... yellow........ um.... g..... blue.... indigo.... purple.'

customer service clerk at walmart, while i am trying to return a circular knitting needle that came apart as soon as i opened it.
'so it broke into two pieces? that's good, isn't it? how could you knit if they were tied together like that?'

jason, in a context known to some of you and better left unknown to the rest.
'back to melon fucking.'

Wasteroo:
It seems weird that your teacher would've forgotten green, of all colors, over violet or indigo.

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