What I Did Instead Of Sleeping One Night
A Photo Essay Slash Effortpost By usmcnavgeek
I have posted this on my other online hangouts because I am proud of it so now I will share it/force it on you all. I made eggnog. I made eggnog instead of sleeping because I hate myself on a subconscious level and want to punish myself by staying up all night when I really have to work on a paper. But that's not the point.
I made eggnog. I will show you how I did it.
First you need to get all your stuff together. The French call this mise-en-place. Maybe they don't use the hyphens, you'd have to ask them, I only took 3 semesters and I forgot it all already. But you need to get all your shit together. This makes life easier.
Next you need to separate your eggs. If you have one of those egg separators you can use that, or if you're pr0 like me you can just use the shell halves to do it. Make sure that under no circumstances you get any yolk in the white. White in the yolk is okay though.
Look I did all twelve and didn't fuck up horribly.
Okay yolks go into my beast of a stand mixer and get beaten up.
Then you add all the sugar. Keep mixing.
While it's mixing pour out 2 cups of that bourbon.
Add it in and mix it. This is where you take your first break and let it sit for an hour.
I had a pizza in the oven so while I waited I ate pizza.
Okay hey we're back, now measure out a couple more cups of bourbon.
Pour that shit in.
I did the last two cups as brandy. The OP used rum.
Whatever, pour that shit in too.
Now add all the heavy cream. Mmm. Realize that hey, man, your mixing bowl is getting kinda full.
Stir that crap together. This is where you take your second break and let it sit in the fridge for 3 hours.
Okay hey we're back thanks to the magic of the internet. Beat the shit out of those egg whites!
Beat them until they look like this I guess.
Okay, add them on top and fold it all together, thanking god that it all just barely fits in the bowl.
Now perch your expensive camera on top of your fridge in a precarious manner and take a picture of you grating the nutmeg into the stuff. Freak the fuck out and barely catch the camera when it falls off. Resume grating.
Commence operation eggnog storage. Realize you fucked up and need more eggnog storage. Whatever, put it in the pitcher and cover it with plastic wrap.
Appropriately label your storage container. You are done.
This stuff is pretty boozy with 6 cups of liquor in it, but it tastes good. It's actually reasonably light, the egg whites being beaten really adds some air and fluffiness to the stuff which is great because if my calculations are correct this entire recipe contains 11,088 calories or 462 calories per 1-cup serving.
Fuck yeah, holidays.