Think about what you are actually saying before you type it out because numerous people may take offense to such massive generalisations.
So? Everyone does it all the time! How can we be offended by something EVERYONE does??
(Yes, for those of you in the cheap seats, this statement was deliberate and intentional. If you missed it, read it again until you do. If you still don't get it, you are NOT going to be included in my next sweeping generalization.)
Because if you aren't there are damn better ways to deal with what you see as inadequacies in your sex life. Try communication for a start.
You are absolutely right. "Hey, don't ever give me a blowjob again because you are terrible at it," is so much better than just gently diverting attention.
Gotta love that communication! Woo hoo.
How many girls have cheated on you ever and how many of the guys they've cheated with have even had drivers' licenses, let alone trucks?
That was hilarious.
Oh, and just for the record, I am OLD and was being cheated on probably long before some of you were born.
Just thought I'd throw that one out there becuase I can.
so spluff lives in a society of floozies?
Now, see, where were all these floozies when I was growing up? I totally missed out, man!
Hm. While reading this thread I received a text from a female friend who's still in high school. Apparently her boyfriend had a seizure this morning, and woke up without any memory of who he is or who his girlfriend is.
That's just sad. and like you said, it's probably legit. Having had extensive experience with seizure patients and epileptics (you don't have to be epileptic to have seizures...), I can tell you from firsthand experience that this could very well be the case.
Maybe he gets his memory back, maybe he doesn't.
But is that enough to end the relationship? Why wouldn't he have the same feelings he had before, if they're the same people?
Just wondering.
Also, as someone who only went through 2 or 3 relationships before I got to one that got serious and stuck for a while, if a 16-year-old girl has had 10 relationships, she'll probably look back in 5 or 6 years and think only one or two (or possibly none) of them really counted.
This is an interesting perspective, and I see a truth in it.
I know women who have CHILDREN from relationships they think "didn't count."
Go figure. Denial is great, ain't it?
Serious. Isn't that one of the stock plot-lines used in daytime soaps?
Yes, but traditionally it's from a head injury, not a seizure.
Whether they get their memory back or not usually hinges on whether or not they (or their co-star) renews their contract.
EDIT: My definition of serious relationship - someone that I can see a future with and am hoping is a person that I can come to love and fall in love with that shares the same sort of feelings back(or at least shows or tells the same thing back to me)... I dunno what's yours?
So, by your definition, some guy a girl banged in a drunken one-night stand, got pregnant with, and now is raising his kid alone might not have "counted" as a relationship?
And yet.
Hmmm...I'm starting to see how this works.
It brings a lot of things in life into focus, actually.
if i got amnesia i probably wouldn't stay in a relationsbip with someone who was now a total stranger... and you're not even really staying in the relationship, you're starting it all over again from scratch, with someone who's claiming to have been your partner.
Tough, yes. But if I woke up in a hospital bed not knowing someone who's reasonably hot who claims to have been intimate with me, I don't think I'd kick her to the curb.
I'd see it as an opportunity to try to understand what happened to me, and definitely put them under the microscope so I could see me through their eyes, compare what I'm told to what I feel, and try to evaluate from there.
Would I throw away my only source of information, even if I suspected it to be faulty? No. Because even faulty information is information, and it gives you a point to start from when checksumming and cross-referencing.
So, were it ME with the amnesia, I sure as hell wouldn't be throwing away ANYBODY, intimate or not, who claims to have known me -- even my enemies.
On the other hand, if I had amnesia and someone was claiming to be my lover, girlfriend, wife, or whatever, I would probably want to keep them around in the hopes that having someone around who should be that familiar to me would help me remember things.
Exactly.
Most people who've actually been with that many people at that age don't actually talk about it.
I have found that this is so. Especially the girls, who are ashamed and afraid of being called sluts. I know a girl in her 30's who is still struggling with trying not to let that label get hung on her.
The guys who are "Experienced" that I've met, much like combat veterans, only talk about it after getting 'em a bit drunk.
And then I realize two things: 1) Still waters run deep. and 2) I don't really want to know. Especially when several of them have nailed MY current GF/Wife.
There's just an Ewwww factor that, in my years, I have learned, having been privvy to people's secrets for decades...that I JUST DON'T WANNA KNOW.
And that's my basic litmus test for folks who really are vs. the wannabes.
The really ares -- don't want to know, don't want to talk about it. Because they know already.
The wannabes want to talk about it because they want to make sure everybody knows they know.
So far that assessment criteria has been pretty much spot-on.
However, like for every other rule, there are exceptions.
i'm more like immature... maybe even for *his* age... which is why i'm posting on here anyway...
Heh, heh. One of the great things about getting old is that being seen as "mature" begins to matter less and less.
Me, I'm an immature jerk, and you know what? I'm pretty darn happy about it. Because I have found out that life's too short to be worried about labels that get hung on me. If they're not my boss or my bed partner, then their opinions matter only as much as I let them.
guys can make babies into their 80s or later
Just ask Tony Randall.
and i feel like i'm running out of time.
I am SO reminded of the scene from "My Cousin Vinny":
"My Biological Clock IS TICKIN' LIKE THIS! (stamps foot, thump thump thump!)"
Actually, they've been finding that birth defects are more prevalent with sperm from older guys. Like it or not, we break down as we age. That's life.
Yup.
Uh, to clarify I believe it's the guy who is instigating the breakup. I know from experience that the particular female in question can be a bit... clingy. Which is largely the reason I avoid talking to her nowadays. But for the sake of a possibly insane story I'll try to find more details.
While I just said up there that I generally don't want to know, there's just something satisfying about a good train wreck that ya just can't look away...
She complained to me that he was so shallow, and that it didn't make any sense to narrow your field of potential partners based on how much they love monster trucks.
This actually brings up an interesting and valid point: Common interests.
Let's face it...sex is sex. Some people are hot, some people aren't, but that is just ONE facet of a relationship. Other facets are compatibility, circle of friends, and HAVING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Being in a relationship should make you happy.
If you are a passionate enthusiast (some might even say obsessive) about something, and you hook up with someone who ISN'T a passionate enthusiast...there's already a rift. I'm not talking about the small stuff like liking the same flavor of ice cream. But there are some people out there whose very BEING is taken up by an activity or a hobby. They should, even at the risk of narrowing the field of potential partners, find someone of their "own kind" if they can.
I learned this particular lesson the hard way. True, it definitely narrowed my field.
But I am now no longer having to look in my field at all, because the partner I found is for the long term, instead of trying on another pair of nice, classy shoes that are both expensive and stylish, that everybody likes, but blister the hell out of my feet.
What I've got now could be likened to a favorite set of combat boots -- shinable to an attractive finish, durable as hell, soft, and with lots of shared experiences, and even when old, I'll look upon them fondly and wear them often, because they make me feel good now, and remember feeling good then.
Sorry for the footwear analogy...it just seems to fit.
Especially for people like me, on the outer fringe where people like me aren't even in the minds of the general public, you know the type..."Wow, it takes a Certain Kind of Person to do that/to live that way/to put up with that/to really do that well." As one of those Certain Kinds of People, it behooves me to find another of those Certain Kinds of People in order to find my happiness.
Your mileage may vary.
Wayne says if he finds out Aubrey doesn't have a boyfriend in a year or so, he's going to randomly ask her to marry him, citing their 10 year long "relationship".
I'd pay money to see the expression on her face. Not very MUCH money, mind you, but money nonetheless. I think I have a buck in my pocket...
I read that at first as a story about a dude who dumped his own sister. I guess that would be a weird end of a relationship. I'm glad it was not that story.
Yeah, only in certain parts of the world do the REALLY weird relationship questions come up like: "If you divorce your wife, is she still your sister?"
*rimshot*
for boys to leave me alone and understand that i'm not interested and can't give them the attention they need.
Yeah, some of us are some really emotionally needy babies.
*raises hand*
that's what i thought at first too. honestly, i'm a little disappointed.
The mind boggles as to the reasoning behind the disappointment, and in this particular case, I stand by my above statement: "I do NOT want to know."
also, what the hell i need to stop posting in all the sex threads cos i think i am starting to come off as really predictable and sex obsessed.
Res ipsa loquitur.
There's your latin lesson for today, kiddies.
because it was a lesson in everything to absolutely never do to anyone ever again.
Many folks never learn that lesson, even with repeated experiences. Kudos.
My longest relationships have tended to fall into that variety where you just fall into a groove with someone you don't particularly like because the relationship happens to be convenient at moderately filling a few needs.
One of the main reasons why a relationship should be with "one of your own kind" on as many levels as possible so this situation doesn't happen. Call me shallow, but I feel this point is valid and needs to be made.
All of the millions upon millions of healthy happy relationships are VERY rare coincidence in the world of dating.
No, it's just that folks who are in healthy happy relationships generally don't go posting about them on message boards -- they're busy having fun enjoying themselves with their partners.
The vast majority of people on this forum have extremely confusing relationship histories.
I'd say this assessment is accurate.
Either way, as a 16 yr old who has not really begun his path through life, it makes me a little scared.
Fear of that which can actually hurt you is healthy.
we hung out and had dinner and didn't fight
If "Didn't fight" is significant enough to make it a GOOD CHUNK...
...I'd say I'm learning quite a bit about someone else's world perception and value system that is significantly different than my own.
I feel my world expanding.
Also tania is posting again which means that probably any topic about relationships will be filled with horrible horrible stories.
I'm learning quite a bit about her from this thread -- it's intriguing, actually.
Plus, people just like novelty and unusual incidents.
Guilty, as charged.
*Basically, we slowed down on how often we saw eachother and then realized that neither of us really missed the other all that much. Scandalous.
Wow, you're right. The monster truck one was more interesting. No offense meant.
There ya go...a recap of the highlights of the last two pages, courtesy of me being too bored to share my own weirdest experience, which kinda pales in comparison.
I love you all; Between you and Jeph, this is my new playground.
The people are delightfully weird and deliciously dysfunctional here, and the absurdity is palpable.
Ahhhhh. *sighs happily*
S
