Topic: Weirdest Ending of A Relationship? (Read 117487 times)

Masterbainter · « **Reply #450 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:45 »

Quote from: Nitre on 15 Jan 2009, 14:19

I don't have any myself, having not as of yet kissed a girl/been in a relationship, aged 18.

My friend, however, has had a pretty weird time.

She went out with this guy for 2 or 3 years, and then decided to stop because he was being pathetic (i.e. crying over the phone when he hadn't seen her). She proceeds to go out with another 2 guys in the space of 3 months, in which time she is being occasionally followed out of college by the long term guy, trying to get her to go out with him again. At first she's scared but then eventually she starts thinking she should get back together.

That was probably a terrible story, but i felt i had to contribute.

Tell her to get a restraining order. or... Tell her to stop playing games with the guy. Two sides to every story.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #451 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:47 »

Wow, you have really low expectations for people's intentions in relationships, don't you!

Masterbainter · « **Reply #452 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:47 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 15 Jan 2009, 20:44

I'm pretty sure that if you make your relationship decisions based on even the merest idea that your partner might wish you bodily harm, you're doing something very wrong.

Yes, silly me. I guess the times when the girls have attacked me is when I catch them red handed cheating and they get upset because it's in front of their other man and they attack. I have broken up with girls both in person and over the phone. Phone is less likely a chance at me enduring being kicked in the balls or punched in the face. You see my friend, most females think it's okay to hit a guy because we are "stronger" then them. Equal rights right? BS.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #453 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:48 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 15 Jan 2009, 20:47

Wow, you have really low expectations for people's intentions in relationships, don't you!

called reading between the lines

est · « **Reply #454 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:55 »

What the fuck. Alternately you can stop dating violent psychos.

Also, what's any of that got to do with women's rights?

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #455 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 20:55 »

Yeah, I guess I am reading between the lines a bit. It's just that every single post you've made so far on this thread has basically relied on expecting people to act as abusive or unpleasant as they could. It doesn't sound like you expect much compassion, forgiveness, or altruism from people you enter relationships with. I'm not saying you're being unfair, if it's what you've experienced that sucks and I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm personally convinced (based on my own experience) that if you make your decisions based on a trust that your partners really do have your best interests in mind, it often turns out to be true in the end.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #456 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 21:17 »

Disclaimer: i'm not innocent.

If a girl dumps a guy.. Then the guy is following her around.. And she feels threatened, that is stalking.

She then decides maybe she wants to date him again? Pretty sure that girl is not telling the whole story. Sorry to break it to you all but girls will and can play.

Have I been in some bad relationships? Yes. Have I been in good ones? Yes. Unfortunately in this great society we have now a days people hide their true self.

Now i'm currenlty in a very good relationship. Now fear of abuse or anything like that. However, I just recently got out of the age of 20 to 25 year olds that think life is still a fucking game. People don't like losing games and i'm sure some of you know what sore losers can be like.

Judge me by my past experience if you like. You really have no clue about me. I study psychology and I do think about anything and everything someone says when it comes to relationships because of the shit i've seen go on and experienced.

I don't believe everyone is evil. I just don't believe there as many good fish out there as people tend to think.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #457 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 21:20 »

What judgments do you think I have about you? I'm curious.

Ballard · « **Reply #458 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 21:23 »

Why do people feel like passive aggressive posting is the best way to win an argument?

"Stop judging me you don't know me" isn't exactly a convincing point.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #459 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 21:24 »

I wasn't even aware that an argument was underway!

est · « **Reply #460 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 21:25 »

If it makes him feel any better I am judging him.

tania · « **Reply #461 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:06 »

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 20:47

most females think it's okay to hit a guy because we are "stronger" then them

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 21:17

girls will and can play

can we try to refrain from gender stereotypes please? people have different personalities. some people are just meaner than others. your bad experiences aren't the result of the fact that they were women and women are some kind of bizarre predatory species totally different from men.

i'm sorry if i'm coming off as excessively picky but i believe pretty strongly that harboring these sorts of beliefs has the potential to lead to increasingly worse prejudice and that it's better to recognize and refrain from that kind of thinking sooner than later.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #462 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:08 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 15 Jan 2009, 20:55

Yeah, I guess I am reading between the lines a bit. It's just that every single post you've made so far on this thread has basically relied on expecting people to act as abusive or unpleasant as they could. It doesn't sound like you expect much compassion, forgiveness, or altruism from people you enter relationships with. I'm not saying you're being unfair, if it's what you've experienced that sucks and I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm personally convinced (based on my own experience) that if you make your decisions based on a trust that your partners really do have your best interests in mind, it often turns out to be true in the end.

this.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #463 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:09 »

Quote from: tania on 15 Jan 2009, 22:06

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 20:47
most females think it's okay to hit a guy because we are "stronger" then them

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 21:17
girls will and can play

can we try to refrain from gender stereotypes please? people have different personalities. some people are just meaner than others. your bad experiences aren't the result of the fact that they were women and women are some kind of bizarre predatory species totally different from men.

i'm sorry if i'm coming off as excessively picky but i believe pretty strongly that harboring these sorts of beliefs has the potential to lead to increasingly worse prejudice and that it's better to recognize and refrain from that kind of thinking sooner than later.

I was stating that girls are not excempt from playing the game. Not saying that only girls will play. I wish people learned proper reading.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #464 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:09 »

Quote from: est on 15 Jan 2009, 21:25

If it makes him feel any better I am judging him.

yes it does.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #465 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:13 »

Quote from: Ballard on 15 Jan 2009, 21:23

Why do people feel like passive aggressive posting is the best way to win an argument?

"Stop judging me you don't know me" isn't exactly a convincing point.

did I say that? No.

I felt as though as anything I've typed according to onewheelwizzard's post was me coming off as someone who's only experience bad.

Like I stated above. I have been in some terrible relationships and I have been in some great ones. I base my opinions off experience, when it come to relationships.

No I don't think everyone is evil, nor do I think all females are evil. In fact, I don't think many are, but there are (both sexes) people that think relationships are games.

I just call them like "I" see them.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #466 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:13 »

one last thing.

I'm definately not trying to start an argument on this. I was defending my posts that is all.

Ballard · « **Reply #467 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:17 »

Hey broseph here's an idea. Make less use of your Return key and more use of your Edit button.

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 22:13

I'm definately not trying to start an argument on this. I was defending my posts that is all.

lol

Masterbainter · « **Reply #468 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:21 »

usually do. My bad.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #469 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:21 »

Quote from: Masterbainter on 15 Jan 2009, 22:13

I felt as though as anything I've typed according to onewheelwizzard's post was me coming off as someone who's only experience bad.

This was what I was looking for! Thank you very much (no, seriously, I really, really appreciate it, I was scrolling down through your posts and saw this one and grinned a lot).

I'm sorry that I made you feel as if that was what I thought about you! I'm glad I showed you what you were sounding like, and also glad that I now understand that you're not one-dimensional in that way.

I think a few pages back you said something like "people remember the bad stuff in relationships, I mean that's how you learn, right?" and this was really what I was trying to get at. Remembering the bad stuff is NOT a good way to learn because the stuff you remember IS what you learn, and that's the kind of stuff you DON'T want to learn. If it sounds like I'm saying "forget about the bad things that happen because they don't matter," or "if you forget about bad stuff it won't happen again," that's not what I mean at all ... what I'm trying to say is that if you EXPECT bad things because they've happened in the past, they're more likely to happen in the future, since your expectations guide your actions and therefore end up manifesting themselves.

I'm also sorry that you felt like you needed to defend yourself against me in some way. I was only trying to learn more about what you meant. I'm sorry that I took a confrontational tone at first, I didn't mean it to sound that way when I wrote it but looking back I can see why you interpreted it the way you did.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #470 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:43 »

Quote

I think a few pages back you said something like "people remember the bad stuff in relationships, I mean that's how you learn, right?" and this was really what I was trying to get at. Remembering the bad stuff is NOT a good way to learn because the stuff you remember IS what you learn, and that's the kind of stuff you DON'T want to learn.

you are correct, you do not want to learn bad stuff. You do however, want to learn from it.

I was pretty broad with my statement so I understand the confusion.

Quote

If it sounds like I'm saying "forget about the bad things that happen because they don't matter," or "if you forget about bad stuff it won't happen again," that's not what I mean at all ... what I'm trying to say is that if you EXPECT bad things because they've happened in the past, they're more likely to happen in the future, since your expectations guide your actions and therefore end up manifesting themselves.

You would be correct, you should never enter a relationship expecting the worse outcome. However, it never hurts to keep your eyes open to what is happening in front of you with your life and relationships.

I am not one to sit there blindly, anymore. I was once in the position of total trust without the other person proving the they were trustworthy. Trust is not granted, it is earned.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #471 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:47 »

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's granted, at least it is when I trust people (I don't need people to earn something that actually helps me when I give it for free), but we can agree to disagree there.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #472 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:51 »

Yeah, trust is granted, sorry. If you go around expecting everyone to be untrustworthy and they have to earn your trust, they just won't care about your trust and will simply tell you to fuck off.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #473 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 22:52 »

edit: i retract my statement

tania · « **Reply #474 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 23:04 »

trust isn't always a black-and-white thing, either. even when it comes to my closest friends, i don't always believe everything they say and vice versa, but sometimes that's okay if you're both aware of that and of what each person's trust needs are. i'm not sure it's possible (for me, anyway) to trust someone on absolutely everything, 100% of the time, but i wouldn't really need to. if i could trust them on enough things to satisfy my level of comfort with the relationship, that'd be enough for me.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #475 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 23:14 »

I personally see trust as "I believe that this person has consideration for my interests, and that in cases in which they behave otherwise, that there is something beyond their control going on that is preventing them from acting in a way that directly communicates that consideration to me," rather than "I believe that this person will not tell me things that are not true." If someone knew this about me and wanted to take advantage of me, I think they'd actually have a hard time doing it ... I don't tend to let my own needs go unattended to, so someone who has legitimately malicious intent would need to actually act it out explicitly in order to hurt me. Someone who just wants to leech off me in some way without giving back is honestly welcome to it, because as soon as I don't feel good about freely giving to them whatever I give, I'll just stop. It's simple, really.

Mr. Skawronska · « **Reply #476 on:** 15 Jan 2009, 23:52 »

Quote

Jestes Polakiem? Czy Polka?

JA jestem Polski przy dziedzictwo , oprócz czynić nie mówić po polsku.

I used an online translator. Please forgive me.

Quote

Yeah...having a kid from a drunken one night stand does not magically make it a relationship...unless you count having a kid from a sperm donor as a relationship.

And I agree. I am pointing out that life-changing things can happen to people from their choices that others will judge them based upon, and not just from relationships.

That's all. I was making a point.

Quote

Thanks for playing

Thanks for letting me.

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SO... Moral of the story is if you love them, keep that shit in your pants. If your not sure, keep it in there until you are sure... you may not realize what you're losing until it's way to late...

You are not the only person to learn this terrible lesson the hard way. I know of several others.

I will neither confirm nor deny my own inclusion.

Quote

If it makes him feel any better I am judging him.

If I don't care, does that mean I'm judging?

How about if I laugh?

Quote

Yeah, trust is granted, sorry. If you go around expecting everyone to be untrustworthy and they have to earn your trust, they just won't care about your trust and will simply tell you to fuck off.

Agreed. I just try to be a decent judge of character and then trust people to be themselves.

I am rarely disappointed these days. But my character judgement wasn't good in the beginning and I got hurt a lot.

But I learned.

Sometimes learning is painful.

S

mbb · « **Reply #477 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 00:00 »

Quote from: TheDozarian on 15 Jan 2009, 10:03

I was dating a German girl out of high school... She had been an exchange student at a nearby school here in the states... We started out dating and eventually got engaged before I left for the service and she for Germany. We visited several times while I was enlisted; her here and me there. However, I had some issues eventually and I made the mistake of messin' around with another girl down at Ft. Campbell...

I didn't tell her why, but I broke up with her over the phone... It was horrible. She cried and begged... She was going to come over on the next flight and all that... I was so embarrassed about what I had done, that I told her no... She continued and I told her that if she showed up at the base, I'd have her arrested... Not my crowning moment, to be sure.

But I was really ashamed of it all... I've since grown up a lot. I was 19 when that happened. My mom and dad have always kept in touch with her and she has married and has a child. But I've not spoken to her since then. Nothing ever came of the other girl. We had a brief thing, but it was nothing. I realized a few years later what I'd done and it had a significant impact on me at that point. I made an effort to apologize to her and she accepted it. But that was the last I heard from her and the last I tried to contact her. That was by letter rather than phone.

SO... Moral of the story is if you love them, keep that shit in your pants. If your not sure, keep it in there until you are sure... you may not realize what you're losing until it's way to late...

I thought the moral of the story there was to learn to keep a secret? Just because you screwed up yourself doesn't mean you should screw things up for the other person by ending it out of guilt/hurting them with the information. (I know a lot of people will disagree with me here, but that's fine and reasonable)

SirJuggles · « **Reply #478 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 00:04 »

That's actually a point of view I really wish I had heard more of BEFORE now. I cheated on my current girlfriend with an ex about a year ago. After a lot of soul searching, guilt, and a revelation that I really do want my current partner to be the one, I ended up telling her everything about a month ago. It was an all-around bad situation since she had previously had suspicions of the ex in question which I had carefully mollified. She's since come to the realization that she feels the same way I do and is willing to give me another chance, but she made the offhand comment that she wishes I had just kept my altruistic mouth shut.

*facepalm*

mbb · « **Reply #479 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 00:18 »

Well, if you think about it, what do you accomplish by telling them? You will certainly hurt them. It's not altruistic, it's selfish. You just "get it off your chest". And as much as you try to continue with someone who's cheated on you, some part of you will always doubt them because of it...or will for a very long time. I think if you can view your cheating experience as something that ultimately made you better in your relationship, you can shrug it off because you appreciate them more because of it and just file it away (as long as you're certain it won't get back to them somehow. yes, you can be certain. especially if the person you decide to cheat on your girlfriend with dies two weeks later in a car accident...which totally happened to me in the relationship I detailed much earlier in the thread...anyway!)
I know of two people who've cheated on their spouses, and in both situations I can't rationalize holding it against them. Anyhow...enough anecdotes for one post.

SirJuggles · « **Reply #480 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 00:25 »

The dark cynical corner of my soul wants to make a "nice timing" joke in there somewhere. But indeed, those are all sentiments that have been expressed by both parties after the fact. And to contrast that situation, I'll admit that my confession was (only partly) motivated by a drunk-dial from the ex threatening to spill everything if I didn't. I figure the least I could do was make sure she heard it from me. No other way would be right.

Masterbainter · « **Reply #481 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 03:03 »

Quote from: Mr. Skawronska on 15 Jan 2009, 23:52

Quote
Yeah...having a kid from a drunken one night stand does not magically make it a relationship...unless you count having a kid from a sperm donor as a relationship.

And I agree. I am pointing out that life-changing things can happen to people from their choices that others will judge them based upon, and not just from relationships.

That's all. I was making a point.

No, no you weren't.

Quote

Quote
EDIT: My definition of serious relationship - someone that I can see a future with and am hoping is a person that I can come to love and fall in love with that shares the same sort of feelings back(or at least shows or tells the same thing back to me)... I dunno what's yours?

So, by your definition, some guy a girl banged in a drunken one-night stand, got pregnant with, and now is raising his kid alone might not have "counted" as a relationship?

And yet.

Hmmm...I'm starting to see how this works.

It brings a lot of things in life into focus, actually.

So by your statement, anything you say is not what you say unless you said it. Really I love that logic. To each their own I guess...

benji · « **Reply #482 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 06:35 »

On the off chance that it will get this thread back to being about... well... something, yes Sam, I like CDs.

(braces for the story about a couple who broke up because of a CD vs. Vinyl Debate)

(or are we talking Certificates of Deposit? In that case, I don't know if I like them. possibly safer then other forms of investment right now, but I don't know much about that kind of stuff)

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #483 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 07:57 »

Sam, you just made me laugh for a good minute straight. Perfection.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #484 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 09:10 »

This joke for some reason made me think of that Achewood strip were Showbiz is just grabbing his junk in front of Molly and Beef.

Mr. Skawronska · « **Reply #485 on:** 16 Jan 2009, 20:25 »

Quote

Quote

That's all. I was making a point.
No, no you weren't.

Mmmhmmm. I see my intentions and your perceptions as incongruent.

Quote

So by your statement, anything you say is not what you say unless you said it. Really I love that logic. To each their own I guess...

There's logic there?

I must have missed it.

S

Masterbainter · « **Reply #486 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 04:43 »

Quote from: Mr. Skawronska on 16 Jan 2009, 20:25

Quote
Quote

That's all. I was making a point.
No, no you weren't.

Mmmhmmm. I see my intentions and your perceptions as incongruent.

Quote
So by your statement, anything you say is not what you say unless you said it. Really I love that logic. To each their own I guess...

There's logic there?

I must have missed it.

S

I am a bee.

You're a bee?

You see I was saying that horses drink water.

no, you said you were a bee?

Lol, stupid you are wrong.

redglasscurls · « **Reply #487 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 06:43 »

Shut up you two.

Jace · « **Reply #488 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 07:04 »

You're not my real mom! you can't tell me what to do!

Did I tell the story about how a girl broke up with me because her friends thought I looked too poor to hang out with them?

If not, I just did.

Ã¶de · « **Reply #489 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 07:18 »

I've heard it before. What are you, the new Joe Hocking?

Ã¶de · « **Reply #490 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 07:54 »

I'm sorry that you're not good at things sam.

Ballard · « **Reply #491 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 10:43 »

Sam you have a Calvin Johnson haircut and you're turning into an angry little man.

RedLion · « **Reply #492 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 11:19 »

Quote from: Masterbainter on 17 Jan 2009, 04:43

I am a bee.

You're a bee?

You see I was saying that horses drink water.

no, you said you were a bee?

Lol, stupid you are wrong.

This is the greatest.

What does it mean?!

Mr. Skawronska · « **Reply #493 on:** 17 Jan 2009, 22:35 »

Quote from: RedLion on 17 Jan 2009, 11:19

Quote from: Masterbainter on 17 Jan 2009, 04:43
I am a bee.

You're a bee?

You see I was saying that horses drink water.

no, you said you were a bee?

Lol, stupid you are wrong.

He is not making a point.

S

This is the greatest.

What does it mean?!

Orbert · « **Reply #494 on:** 19 Jan 2009, 10:32 »

It seems to mean that this thread has sadly run its course and people are now more interested in arguing semantics than relating funny stories.

Sox · « **Reply #495 on:** 19 Jan 2009, 10:40 »

Nine days later at a house party, we entered together, both started talking to somebody else at the same time, glanced back and forth, approached each other and basically said "yeah, it was a lot of fun. nice to meet you" "yeah, you too, have a nice life" so we could hit on these new people. It was funny because it was so casual, and all our mutual friends made a giant fuss over it.

TheDozarian · « **Reply #496 on:** 19 Jan 2009, 10:55 »

Quote from: mbb on 16 Jan 2009, 00:00

I thought the moral of the story there was to learn to keep a secret? Just because you screwed up yourself doesn't mean you should screw things up for the other person by ending it out of guilt/hurting them with the information. (I know a lot of people will disagree with me here, but that's fine and reasonable)

I didn't tell her why I broke up with her... Just that the distance and everything made it too difficult to keep up my end of it. That I didn't want to deal with it for the next 3-4 years while she finished university. I never told her I cheated on her. And no, I don't think that keeping a secret in that situation is the wrong thing to do... She deserved better than that and we were both young. She had time to find someone else and she did... Relationships based on false pretenses, regardless of their intent, are often not long for things. And in this situation, she was forced to deal with it in a very definitive way. It gave her a solid chance for closure without the idea of what could have been...

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #497 on:** 21 Jan 2009, 12:28 »

This thread has run its course, you say? Nonsense! I have saved up a story just for this occasion.

Him: "So, the past few months were great, but really I have no feelings for you and was just using you to get through the summer without my ex."
Me: "Uh. That sucks."
Him: "Have a nice life!"

(A few months later I started dating one of our mutual friends)

Me: "I'm happy!"
Him: "Fuck you I can't believe you would do this to me, you [insert string of expletives here]!"
Me: "..."

But then he knocked up some girl at Bible Camp and so he is married and has a kid. Bahahahaha.

glyphic · « **Reply #498 on:** 21 Jan 2009, 12:35 »

And justice is served!

Alex C · « **Reply #499 on:** 21 Jan 2009, 12:44 »

Man, I totaly empathize with feeling irrationally emotional about something, but that doesn't mean I'll ever really understand how people manage to rationalize it and act like a dick in the process. I mean, hell, I've felt mild jealousy pangs before and I'll probably feel them again. I remember the first time it ever really happened back when I was in high school; a girl I used to playfully flirt with but wasn't truly interested in started dating some other guy. I ended up feeling a tiny bit jealous anyway, but I just chalked it up to vestigial cave man instincts and did my best to let it go before I made an ass of myself.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Weirdest Ending of A Relationship? (Read 117487 times)