Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

Anyone in a similar position to Martin?

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norcekri:
Masterbainter, if you want to discuss some of these points, please remove the logical fallacies and try again.

Shawn, we agree on most of this material, but I take some difference with one point: "[women] don't have all insecurities and hang-ups that men do."  Actually, women have their own sets of insecurities and hang-ups.  Also, there are more differences among individual people than between the sexes.  As I mentioned, my own comfortable friendships in that age range tended to be about 2:1 in favor of women (vive la difference!), and we swapped a lot of good information about inner thoughts, dating, and responses to the desired sex.  In all that, the main thing I learned is that women are worried about a lot of the same general things, but in different ways and with different priorities -- much as with the differences among my guy friends, although the culturally-driven worries were basically the stereotypes: waiting for the guy to ask you out, how to respond, how to get him to ask you out, and so on.  Most of it was tied up with self-image, self-worth, pride, and that burden of image definition.

Don't think that women don't have their own hang-ups; they might tend to be more overt than covert, or hidden from what you and I would normally see, but the hang-ups are likely there.  I spent three years on a telephone counseling line, which is where I got into a lot of this stuff -- with my colleagues, more so than the callers.

Of course, you may have a circle of friends who are particularly well-adjusted compared to their peers; a few of my colleagues fell into that category.  If so, good for you; hold onto them.  Perhaps my greatest asset during college was that no matter what problem I had, I always had someone to whom I could turn for an empathetic ear, support, and a good kick in the ego, as needed.  Two of them died far too soon (one of them in the comics industry), but I remember them all.

jtheory:
I definitely tend to gravitate more towards hanging out with women than with men (I'm a straight guy).

And to add an interesting twist -- this was far more true when I was in a steady relationship than when I was wasn't.  When I was single, hanging out with women was much more complicated... I felt like I had to worry more about friendliness being misinterpreted, etc..  Once I was "off the market" and clearly not looking around, I suddenly felt a hell of a lot more comfortable hanging out with my S.O. and our various mostly female friends.

I don't avoid befriending men.  Though... I absolutely agree, the type who would think it funny to poke me in the ribs when I'm stretching, or to intentionally fart in my presence, etc.. they go right on my shitlist, and it's not likely they'll get off it.  I found that kind of thing funny when I was 5, but I'm not 5 anymore.  I want my friends to have some awareness of what's going on in their own heads (and outside of their own heads, for that matter), and be able to articulate it.  My problem is not insecurities & hangups -- my problem is utter ignorance of what your personal set of insecurities & hangups are, and unwillingness to even think about it.  If your way to make friends is to have an even *nastier* story about how violently ill you were after chugging whatever that was on Friday night... yeah, no thanks.  Go figure out why you were actively making yourself horribly sick and think about that for a while first.

So there are plenty of people (both men & women) who I rule out, but it seems like on balance, women tend to get thoughtful earlier in life than men do.  Hence, the female-tilted balance of friends.  It makes some sense culturally, when you think about it.

Dazed:
Jens, here in Amerikkka we only talk to women so we can eventually fuck them.

Shawn:

--- Quote from: Dazed on 24 Dec 2008, 17:12 ---Jens, here in Amerikkka we only talk to women so we can eventually fuck them.

--- End quote ---

That's not true - I live in Orange County, California - one of the shallowest placed in the the USA.

Also, I don't see the point of using the spelling Amerikkka, which is a reference to the KKK. We have an African-American president. The prejudice is finally gone, let's accept that and find something new to demean the country about.

Masterbainter:
feeling gulty are we?

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