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tania:
something that actually happens quite often is that women forgot about a large part of the childbirth experience, so although they recall it as having been terrible they can't actually remember the exact event from moment to moment. from an evolutionary standpoint, this occurs so that women will want to keep having kids because if they could remember in excruciating detail how horrible it was the first time it occurred, they probably wouldn't want to ever get pregnant again.

fun fact! one of my housemates saw her mom give birth to her sister because her mom thought it would be the sort of thing that was wonderful and educational for her (her parents are really excellent though, just weird sometimes). i think she was maybe 7 or 8 years old at the time. so of course she saw the whole thing including her mom crying and screaming at the nurses and the whole thing with the baby and was essentially reduced to a trembling ball in the corner. the doctors tried to comfort her by saying this was something kids weren't really supposed to ever see and she was very brave.
so, her mom forgot most of the experience and only vaguely recalls it as having been painful, but of course my housemate has the whole thing stamped in her memory in detail and now, like me, has a massive phobia of having kids as a result of this experience. at least i'm not alone.

Fenriswolf:

--- Quote from: PantsFTW on 14 Dec 2008, 04:25 ---Well, yeah, clearly it will hurt, but I think going into it thinking that its going to hurt a lot more makes it hurt more. If you think that you always throw up when you fly in a plane, you will then throw up when you fly in a plane. That's how your mind works. You can condition it to think a certain way.

--- End quote ---
Yeah, I would doubt that has much to do with it in this case. You're dilating your cervix, which usually sits pretty much closed, to 8 or so cm (or 4"). It's like stretching out one of your other muscles to 10x it's normal size by constant cramping and relaxing. It does vary a lot, but I think the fear of pain has little to do with it in this instance.

Pain from sex is going to affected more psychologically because if you're uncomfortable/nervous you're not going to produce as much lubricant and/or you nervousness can directly result in tightening the muscles of your vagina which won't help.

I am dubious about attributing mystery-sex-pain to being "in their head" though because women can have pretty horrendous health problems that even some doctors ignore because they don't understand it and some women can't have penetrative sex for years, if ever, because of it. :(

RedLion:

--- Quote from: tania on 14 Dec 2008, 11:32 ---something that actually happens quite often is that women forgot about a large part of the childbirth experience, so although they recall it as having been terrible they can't actually remember the exact event from moment to moment.

--- End quote ---

This happens with most things that cause extreme pain. My arm went through a window once, gashing my shoulder, upper and lower arms, and my hand..(I got about 78 stitches in all.) I remember looking down and seeing it, but I don't remember it actually happening..so I'm not really sure that it has anything in particular to do with pregnancy and childbirth. I think it's a common experience when you get a lot of pain and, consequently, adrenaline, pumping through your body.

Fenriswolf:
Yeah your body doesn't want you to remember that shit! ...you got pictures?  :-o

Jace:
The thing about it is that it wasn't sex-pain. She just didn't enjoy it. She would do it for the guy only, 6 different guys and she never enjoyed it.

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