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Blog Thread II: Beyond Blogosphere.

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Eris:
You shouldn't have to quit because he is harassing you. Even if you led him on unintentionally, once you said "hey, this is making me uncomfortable, please stop it" he should have backed the fuck off, rather than continuing with the messages and all that.

You really aren't the one in the wrong here, you should at least tell him again to stop or you will take it to your boss, and if he continues, follow through with the threat.

Jimor:

--- Quote from: allison on 02 Jun 2009, 04:09 ---
--- Quote from: Jimor on 02 Jun 2009, 03:42 ---There's no reason you should have to feel uncomfortable at work just because some idiot can't respect boundaries, and there should be a system in place there to make sure it doesn't stay that way. Good luck.

--- End quote ---

But we kind of flirt (I'm just naturally flirty and I sometimes don't realize it) and I think I led him on, so I feel really badly... I don't want anyone to get in any trouble. I also really don't want to lose this job, and I'm feeling right now like I should quit.

--- End quote ---

No reason you can't see if things get better on their own now that you've established the boundaries. If you were a bit flirty, and this was his awkward way of finding out if you'd take the next step, that's not too bad (not to excuse it, but in these days of nekkid phone pics, dirty texting seems to be a common mating call type of thing). In the harassment seminar I was required to take when I was in a supervisor position, it was put as the "ask once" rule. If you asked a coworker out and they said "no" that was it unless they then made the next move. So if you want, you can count this as his one "chance".

But still, you shouldn't feel like you should have to quit, you shouldn't have to feel like you'd be a troublemaker for reporting it if that's what you feel you need to do, that's the whole point of anti-harassment laws and policies.

How's this for an interim solution. Step one is still to document it all while the memory is fresh. Step two, just let your supervisor know that there is somebody who is starting to get out of line, you think you might be able to handle it on your own, but that if it doesn't stop, you want to know who to talk to. This way you can get a good idea of how supportive the management is, and how they handle it as a policy.

It doesn't mean anybody has to get fired, one of the options is mediation for example. And one of the conditions if management does step in is that there can't even be a hint at retaliation by anybody involved.

I know it's tough and uncomfortable. A worker under me felt the need to complain about a coworker, but the process worked, the behavior ended, both workers stayed on the job and everybody had a much clearer idea of how serious we had to take worker on worker harassment.

I hope this helps.

Jimmy the Squid:
Sexual harrassment law (at least here) states that as soon as you say "hey you're making me uncomfortable, stop doing x,y,z" than you are legally covered if they try anything. Even if you were flirting beforehand. Even if he claims he's just flirting. Intention is irrelevant if he made you uncomfortable enough to have to tell management which you should totally do

David_Dovey:

--- Quote from: Jeans on 30 May 2009, 12:39 ---Ohey blog thread my SKWM shirt came in the mail today, with the name of Tim Midgett written by Tim Midgett (probably) on the envelope. Framin' the envelope and putting it on the wall next to my PC, and wearing the shirt with pride. It looks awesome (you were wrong Tommy, it is a good, if basic design)

--- End quote ---

Dang near bought the same shirt myself today. Didn't though, gonna e-mail and find out if a) I need to pay extra shipping to Australialand and b) if I can package it up with some Bottomless Pit stuff while I'm at it. It seems that Tim runs both band's online presences so it hopefully won't be a big deal. Did you have to pay extra shipping on the shirt Jens?

Dear Blog Thread,

Stop having such busy lives! It makes catching up very hard I mean I have only been away for a couple of days come on

öde:
I asked if I had to pay extra shipping and he said it was alright because he only had a few left. I didn't follow his logic but it was pretty ace of him.

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