I don't know if I've already mentioned this, but on Wednesday one of my teachers had a bit of an emotional meltdown and has been given two weeks' leave of absence to get himself back together. Aside from the feelings of guilt (I knew something wasn't right back in January and as a class we'd decided in March that someone ought to go and report it, but it never got done and now it's too late) and concerns about my exams which are in a few weeks, I miss him! I hadn't realised how much I relied on being able to walk past his classroom or staffroom and look in and see him there, steadfastly teaching the world and being indecisive. Ever so often I forget that he's not around and then something reminds me and I miss him again
This has come to the front of my mind now because I saw him crossing a carpark as I was coming home from work and I was glad to see him because it means he's reasonably ok, and sad because I'd almost forgotten.
I think the reason it's so upsetting is that he's always seemed a completely together kind of person, one of the best teachers I've ever had and one of my favourites. Even though he'd been a little off and a little stressed this year, we'd put it down to having a new baby and also two rather difficult classes from the year below, but we'd never begun to imagine that it had taken him so badly. And the worst thing is that it was an incredibly public meltdown, screaming and swearing and crying and I imagine anyone who was in college that morning will have heard, and certainly everyone has heard about it by now. So it's going to be really hard for him to come back and carry on as normal, or as normal as things ever are during exam period.
I don't know. I just want him to be ok. I just want it to be last year again, or perhaps the start of this year before everything got weird.
On the plus side I made strawberry fool this evening and it was scrumptious.
