John you're smart enough to know what I'm getting at here, which is ultimately an admiration for Bioware's dedication to writing and craft that shine through in this game. Those tropes bother you for really broad reasons but don't really address what I'm talking about, which is that - regardless of tropes, which is an interesting avenue for talking about the politics of text but never have nearly as much bearing on the actual quality of a text as you seem to be placing on them - the game and its characters are well-written and well-developed. I take a lot of issue with your classification of several of the characters as "woobified" because that seems to be based more on a fan response to them than, well, their actual characters.
It's been awhile since I've conceived of Bioware's writers as being divorced from their fans, not just in aspects of game design but in characters and writing as well. David Gaider at the very least has not-so-subtly indicated that the fan reactions to his characters in KOTOR had a heavy impact on his subsequent characters (Kaidan in ME1 actually directly quotes fan complaints about Carth, if I remember correctly) As for the actual quality of the text, I don't necessarily agree that ME2 was particularly well written, aside from some notable exceptions (particularly Mordin and the Illusive Man). ME2's strength was largely in its combat design and choice / consequence, both of which were quite good, and both of which are most likely to be changed down the road, unfortunately.
As far as the woobification (I do wish there was a better word for that) I don't think it's something like seeing the constant misery in Dostoevsky's writing and going "huh". I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on whether the woobification is an intrinsic or extrinsic element of the writing. There are many elements of Bioware's writing and game design that are, if not repetitive, variations on core themes. The durability of these tropes doesn't speak to a weakness in Bioware's writing, but to their efficacy in eliciting reaction from the player. Big-name AAA game development is highly competitive and very, very expensive, and there's very little about those projects that isn't vetted w/r/t player reactions. The woobification is most obvious with Jack and Miranda, both of whom have tough exteriors that, it's heavily suggested, are defense mechanisms compensating for deep insecurity.
I'm also mystified because you seem to be confusing what you want, which is, well, I don't know what but it's something to do with sex, with what the game accomplishes, which is that it rounds its characters out the way it wants them rounded out while delivering romances.
My gripe with the Bioware romances has very little to do with the sex (though it has gotten more ridiculous in the last few games) and everything to do with the therapy in the "first-the-therapy-then-the-sex" plotline. What I'd like is for there to be greater variation in relationship dynamics between characters. I don't think that's possible in ME, for reasons I'll get to soon here. Beyond that, I'd be much happier if romances were better integrated into critical paths and used to raise stakes.
In terms of the Therapy Love thing, it applies to - who? The characters have motivations that the game establishes were formed independently of Shepard; as such, you don't so much push them to realize and fulfill them as you facilitate what they see as inevitable. Your choices, as a necessity of the gameplay Bioware developed, help shape the direction that fulfillment goes in, but it never feels particularly forced or unnatural, and that's again due to the strength of the writing.
I don't agree at all that the growth of these characters was in any way "inevitable". Whether or not you play life coach with the characters directly correlates to their survival chances in the endgame, so in a very real sense the need for healing is vital and solely invested in the player. Both Miranda and (to either a lesser or far greater extent) Jack are in deep denial about how much their insecurities affect them, and the player has to gain their trust and "fix" them, hence "Therapy Love". As I said, the use of unresolved trauma and self-esteem issues as bonding agents between characters is a staple in RPGs by now. In BG2, the bulk of the romances consisted of getting your companion far enough out of full-blown PTSD (from Aerie's lost wings, Viconia's torture/rape/constant betrayal, Jaheira's murdered husband, Anomen's child abuse, etc.) to be in a relationship.
The big problem with ME in regard to this is that there's literally nothing else that Shepard can do besides save people. From the establishing shots of ME1 Shepard is characterized as a John McClane class badass, a flawless demigod who's inevitably going to save the galaxy no matter what he / she is up against. What's the point of the Superman / Lois Lane pairing if Lane can do everything herself?
I have a few complaints with Mass Effect 2's depiction of sex - the actual act itself, which is admittedly far less embarrassing than the sex in Dragon Age but still not quite mature in a small-m sense, and the occasional snippet of dialogue, such as Miranda asking Shepard if he'd like to admire her butt sometime - but by and large the model works, and it works on the strength of the writing, and it works regardless of those tropes. Mostly what distinguishes it from the first game is the writing, and I'm willing to give Bioware the benefit of the doubt for the third Mass Effect based exclusively on how much they improved between the first and second.
There's nothing I particularly minded about ME2's sex (I
did find it funny when people got angry over Miranda's bra, as if anything less than suggested total nudity was a slap in the face of gamers) and they've set up the Kaidan / Ashley / Liara romance as something that's going to make a big difference in ME3, so I'm looking forward to seeing to what extent the romance will be integrated into the endgame. Hopefully well.