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Author Topic: Fuck My Life  (Read 10565 times)

benji

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #50 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:13 »
I have a cuckolding fetish. Fuck my wife.
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Cartilage Head

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #51 on: 26 Feb 2009, 03:00 »
 It seems like a lot of the people who vote on the website hate two things, masturbating and using the internet for naughty stuff.
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TheFuriousWombat

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #52 on: 28 Feb 2009, 11:23 »
I thought this one was pretty good:
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
 :lol:
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Quote from: KharBevNor on 05 Jul 2008, 13:44
I punched all the girls in the face on the way to the booth to vote for Hitler.

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jhocking

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #53 on: 28 Feb 2009, 22:16 »
best one I've read so far:
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
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Jace

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #54 on: 01 Mar 2009, 01:16 »
Quote
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

o
  \
o/
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Rizzla: Man... I'm only interested in girls who've had penises.
Rizzla: Fuck
Rizzla: I mean girls who have penises.

Yakob

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #55 on: 01 Mar 2009, 06:26 »
oh man I forgot about that one. That is The Best One.
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DonInKansas

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #56 on: 01 Mar 2009, 06:46 »
I called Directv a month in advance of moving to transfer my satellite and they told me the earliest they can get to me is two weeks AFTER the move.  FML
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Quote from: Surgoshan on 12 Nov 2008, 04:38
I mean, it would still suck, but at least it would suck creatively.

MrBlu

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #57 on: 02 Mar 2009, 16:19 »
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

There is no explaining to your children why that is wrong.
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Quote from: Bayley on 18 Jul 2008, 11:07
rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
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J-cob9000

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #58 on: 14 Mar 2009, 17:28 »
Quote from: benji on 25 Feb 2009, 09:13
I have a cuckolding fetish. Fuck my wife.
Oh. Haha. I so just got this. The FMW part.

And also.
"Today, I went to my friends house when his parents were out to smoke weed."
Punctuation?
« Last Edit: 14 Mar 2009, 18:53 by Midnight Umbreon »
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BrilliantEraser

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #59 on: 14 Mar 2009, 22:05 »
Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 24 Feb 2009, 16:51
Quote
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

I know a chick who kneeled down to tie her shoe and while getting up, stepped on her finger and broke it.
Twice.

I sneezed while standing at a counter in my kitchen. I doubled up, slammed my forehead into the counter, and then fell backwards in a sheer state of ohdeargodwtfjusthappened. I went to class with a massive bruise right across my face.
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*bloop bloop bloop*

Reed

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #60 on: 14 Mar 2009, 23:31 »
I have a similar story....last semester I had to teach with a black I that a tree gave me...
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Quote from: meebo
[22:49] Quietus: I'm personally imagining a white supremacist locked in his basement, furtively listening to Parliament on headphones
[22:49] Quietus: "Oh, lawd, why must them coons rock me so"

Coffee_Kaioken

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #61 on: 30 Apr 2009, 19:31 »
I know I'm reviving an old thread but BELIEVE me, it's for a good reason.

http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/1413224

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Scrambled Egg Machine

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #62 on: 30 Apr 2009, 19:32 »
Plus for semi-QC reference, minus for thread necromancy.
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Not so sure about these things anymore.

Coffee_Kaioken

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Re: Fuck My Life
« Reply #63 on: 30 Apr 2009, 19:34 »
I'm going to try submitting FML's that sound like incidents in QC.
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