Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Reed:
Skinnyfat,
Right now I'm in a similar situation, except I'm the ex and I think I might have some insight into your situation. My ex and I are best friends, she knows me better than anyone else and she knows exactly how to help me when I'm having a problem. The guy she is dating now originally had a problem with how close we are, and he thought I was trying to win her back. In reality, I don't at all, and she doesn't want to be with me. Granted, neither of us has written a love poem to the other, but your boyfriend might just be trying to help his ex. Definitely talk to him about, but don't automatically assume that there's anything more to it than him trying to help someone because he's the best person to do it.
Now....on to my own problems. I was in said relationship for the better part of my undergraduate life, and I really feel like I missed out on a lot because of it. Now that I'm single I want to go out with bars, have fun, date lots of people, etc. The problem is that everyone in grad school (my friends especially) are all about being 'mature' and looking for serious relationships. If we go to the bar it's to sit in the corner and drink a couple of glasses of beer. It makes it really hard to meet women, especially since most of the women in my program are in long term relationships. So, oh mighty masters of love advice, what do I do?
0bsessions:
--- Quote from: Mr. Skawronska on 26 Feb 2009, 07:22 ---I am surprised you fit through standard width doors.
And there are some of us other than you in happy, stable relationships, thank you. And no offense, but I only take advice from people I solicit it from, and rarely take it from people who offer it.
Because those who offer it, I've found, generally have their own agenda for doing so.
Cynical? Me?
Most definitely.
Pass.
S
--- End quote ---
Cynical's not the word I'm thinking. I'm thinking more overreactionary. Who are you again? And when was it you forgot how to take a joke?
--- Quote from: Emaline on 26 Feb 2009, 07:31 ---Guys, I think we need to look at this(skinnyfat's situation) from different perspectives.
Are your boyfriend and this girl close? Was the poem posted on Valentine's day?
If I did the whole myspace thing, and my friends did too, I can see posting love poems to them on Valentine's day, whether they were single or not. I can say without a doubt that I love my Davis and my Jake. Jake is the guy in the relationship that I mentioned previously.
I mean, can we just stop assuming the dude is a bad guy? Maybe he is just being a really good supportive friend. Either way, Skinnyfat, you need to say something to him. It makes you uncomfortable. Say something.
--- End quote ---
While it's counterproductive to just assume for no reason that the dude's up to mischief, general wisdom and the facts that are presented lead logically to the idea that the dude's up to mischief. He may not be, hence why she should confront him about it instead of just straight out dumping him. The guy, through intent or complete obliviousness, is not considering his girlfriend's feelings. I don't care how good of friends they are, it's inconsiderate of both him and his ex to not consider how his girlfriend of two plus years might feel about a rather sketchy situation such as this one.
--- Quote from: Dire bacterium on 26 Feb 2009, 09:53 ---Now....on to my own problems. I was in said relationship for the better part of my undergraduate life, and I really feel like I missed out on a lot because of it. Now that I'm single I want to go out with bars, have fun, date lots of people, etc. The problem is that everyone in grad school (my friends especially) are all about being 'mature' and looking for serious relationships. If we go to the bar it's to sit in the corner and drink a couple of glasses of beer. It makes it really hard to meet women, especially since most of the women in my program are in long term relationships. So, oh mighty masters of love advice, what do I do?
--- End quote ---
Honestly, part of this might be a mixture of your friends aren't considering your needs. It's not particularly difficult to carry on a serious relationship while living a mature lifestyle and still going out with your friends and making sure they have a good time. My friends did as much for me when I was single and I have since done as much for my friends since I came upon a relationship. What I would recommend is extending your social circle to include a couple more single friends who just want to have a good time. Nobody looks lamer than the dude sitting alone at a bar trying to talk to women. If you don't have any friends willing to go out and do that with you, you need more friends.
MrBlu:
--- Quote from: Gurkburk on 26 Feb 2009, 08:28 ---I liked this thread better when the makeout hobo did it.
--- End quote ---
I just had an excellent idea, but I don't think it'll go over too well.
Guido Sarducci:
--- Quote from: PantsFTW on 26 Feb 2009, 08:15 ---You are absolutely right Jon. In retrospect I find that I do not really talk about my love of music on the forums as much. I listen to all types of music, and I think I will find some concerts to go to instead of playing D&D friday nights. I mean, for god sake, what the fuck am I doing spending my friday nights playing fucking D&D? I am 19, I need to be going to parties and shit.
--- End quote ---
D&D is definitely better for Sunday afternoon and evening.
october1983:
Man I am reluctant to post about my love life on the internets but honestly advice might be a good idea.
I have a massive thing for my best friend and I do not know what to do. I have known her since I first started uni (so for about 2 1/2 years now), and have probably been attracted to her since the outset of our friendship. However, when we first met, I was still with my ex, and that breakup hit me pretty hard so I did not think about relationships for a while afterwards, and then I kept making excuses for not making moves and before I knew it we were incredibly close friends and saying anything felt dangerous. Around the time that would perhaps have been my best opportunity to tell her, she was having to deal with another mutual friend's unwanted advances and I did not really have the heart to potentially add more to that. Or maybe I was just making excuses again. Either way, I kept my mouth shut. I figure eventually I will get over it/meet someone else, but over 2 years down the line neither has really happened yet, despite a few unsuccessful attempts.
Anyway, we're coming to the end of our undergrad studies and everyone will be going their separate ways soon - she will most likely be staying in London, and I will either be making a short trip to Brighton or staying here too, but either way we will definitely end up seeing less of each other due to new circumstances, so the question is, do I:
a) Weather it out and hope that the extra distance and influx of new people in my life when we leave uni will help me move on.
or
b) Finally let her know how I feel, safe in the knowledge that even if it explodes in my face, it will only be a few months before we are all doing different things in different places.
Whatever happens, I do not want to ruin our friendship as it is the best thing, but at the same time maybe I should stop letting potential good things pass me by.
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